help ? lost , confused , young & unhappy...

[jocemarie]

Hey there to who ever decides to read this.. I kinda need advice & if you guys have nothing nice to say please keep it to yourself.. But me & my bd have been having our differences... He is nothing like I thought he was mind you I've been with for a year practically.. He's so selfish & inconsiderate ya should hear some of the things he says to me.. It really pisses me off.. & the way he treats my family it discusses me.. There all I have & at this point me nor them are very happy with him.. & now & old friend of mine found me & got in contact with me he's so much more caring of me & my unborn baby girl & he loves my family.. My family likes him.. & so do I feel so happy when he talks to me.. & I just don't feel that with my bd anymore.. I need help.. & this friend of mine he's willing to do anything for me & my baby girl.. My bad hasn't done anything at all he hasn't even thought abwt buying things.. He thinks our parents are guna do it all I told him no.. But he's so useto ppl taking care of him tthat he doesn't know what it is to take care of others.. But when I tell you guys I'm not happy anymore I mean it.. & idk what to do..

[tasha91_]

I understand how you feel my boyfriend has an inconsiderate and he thinks the world owe him something attitude.  I suggest you start making plans to leave him cause its not worth it but do jump into another relationship, start becoming independent and if your friend is good to you then go on a few dates after the baby is born and see if you like his attitude.  Since you have a child now you have to be more mindful about relationships. Your baby daddy may grow up and realize how life really is and maybe yall will fall back in love but get you independence so both men know you want them but don't need them, you can do it on your own!!

Good luck to you and I'm gonna try to take my own advice :) be blessed & happy!

[tasha91_]

I understand how you feel my boyfriend has an inconsiderate and he thinks the world owe him something attitude.  I suggest you start making plans to leave him cause its not worth it but do jump into another relationship, start becoming independent and if your friend is good to you then go on a few dates after the baby is born and see if you like his attitude.  Since you have a child now you have to be more mindful about relationships. Your baby daddy may grow up and realize how life really is and maybe yall will fall back in love but get you independence so both men know you want them but don't need them, you can do it on your own!!

Good luck to you and I'm gonna try to take my own advice :) be blessed & happy!

[jocemarie]

@ash060115 you know what that doesn't sound like a bad idea at all ... Maybe he'll understand once were gone how much we mean to him & if not his loss iquess but I don't want to be unhappy him & our child can be in each others life I don't mind that at all .. But thanks so much well see how this goes .. It kinda hurts me but I just can't anymoreiI just want us to be one of his prioritys & were like just not .. But thanks once again (:

[ash060115]

Tell him your no longer in a relationship with him but he has obligations to his child.

Change your number if you have to don't let him pull you back... if he says oh get back with me I'll change say... no change and I'll think bout gettin back with you.

Best of luck little lady you deserve the best x

[jocemarie]

@DeWith : yeah I think your right the only thing is I'm having a problem with how to leave him .. I've tried & tried & all he does is tell me he's guna change for me to stay but how long is that guna take he's barely been around for my pregnancy I can only imagine what it'll be like but your right thanks for the advice (: @iLovekjoy2 I've tried that doesn't work & no I have no intentions with my friend its just the comfort I'm receiving wish I can get it from bd.. & if something were to happen between me & my friend it'll definitely be after I have my baby & she's settled & things are going okay I just don't wanna live an unhappy life with someone.. I'd rather be alone... @jalainalparks & yess I understand that's exactly what I don't wanna do.. I don't wanna be Ina unhappy home plus I kinda feel like that will effect the baby after awhile..& yeah we had the talk many times :/ he just isn't getting it... But thanks so much& im really happy for ya & wish guys the best (:

[jalainalparks]

I made a huge mistake by staying with my son's dad for a year after he was born and he treated me like **** and never did anything for my son. I was so afraid of leaving him after 5 years but when I think back on it now I get so mad...If you already had a serious talk with him and he doesn't wanna wake up I don't think it's worth the extra stress at all. Some men just can't handle it I guess... I ended up marrying my best friend when my son was 2 and a half and I couldn't be more happy.

[iLovekjoy2]

If you're tired of your bf tell him that things aren't working out and you want out of that relationship. As far as the other guy, I wouldn't jump into another relationship just yet. Focus on your little one right now and just take it slow with your new friend.

[DeWith]

If you leave him i think it might shock him maybe then he'll realise how much a **** he's being if you and your family are buying everything you need and his attitude towards his own childs like that. All i can say least the baby has people like you in her life.

If your not happy there is no point sticking around and he'll prove how much you and the baby means once shes here and if not you did the right thing!!

[jocemarie]

That's not my intentions at all I just noticed the difference of someone who cares v.s someone who doesn't.. & I've tried talking things out with my bd & asking him for help with money & stuff & he looks at me like I'm crazy.. Like I didn't make this baby by myself & their expensive.. Mind you I'm still in school doing what I have to do so we can have a good future.. My bd had an awesome paying job & decided to quit cause "it was to much work" like does he think having a baby is a piece of cake ?! I just don't know wht to do with him anymore .. Mind you he & his family don't wanna help my parents with the baby shower like putting in money or anything so my parents said I might not have one cause they can't afford it alone that if anything they'll do something really small & I don't mind at all its just sad how they don't wanna help out in anything.. & plus my friend is just here as a friend nothing more nothing less but he explained to me if I need help with anything he's a phone call away..

[Roxanne28]

Thats easy hun ... Your happienes is all its meters, u should let go and be with who ever treat u right and makes u happy, he is the baby's dad end of the day and he gt rights to be in babys life ( if he only wants that ) but that dnt mean u have to put up with his nonsense and be  miserable... If u still got any feeling to your baby's dad talk to him tell him he needs to change and see wt happens but if there nothing left just move on and be happy he still can have relationship with his baby xxx
Wt ever u decide good luck and all the best..!!!

[jalainalparks]

If you aren't happy don't be with him but don't leave him just to be with someone else. Concentrate on being a mother and if your friend really cares about you he will still be there later.