help me..im 30 weeks pregnant and not sure who the father is

im 30 weeeks pregnant my due date is may 8 2010...my last period was july 31 2009..my husband and i were trying to convieve i bought an ovulation kit and said i was ovulating on aug .11 so we tryed every 2 day until the aug.16 and on the  aug .17 i had sex with my ex but he did not ejaculate inside and on aug 30 and didnt ejaculate either .
on september 3 my pregnancy test was positive..

im positive its my husbands but i still worry

[Ashelen]

Absolutely no way to tell until the baby's born and you do a DNA test. even though the man you slept with didn't ejaculate, if he had sex without a condom then he was leaking sperm from the minute you started having sex and could have impregnated you. I'm sorry this happened to you, but that's why you have to be monogamous and use protection if you're not....otherwise you'll never know who the father is without a DNA test :(. Also remember for future reference that sleeping with different people while pregnant or trying to get pregnant can expose you to more than paternity problems....STDs or STIs can harm or even kill your baby. You've got to be very careful, even if you think you know a person's sexual history (like your ex). I assume you don't still sleep with the one guy, but you've got to be extra careful in the future if you're pregnant or trying to get pregnant like you were, because there are all sorts of dangers involved with having different partners, all problems with being unfaithful in a marriage aside.

I'm sorry I wish I could help, but you'll just have to wait until the baby's born and do a DNA test...dating and ultrasound dating will never give you an accurate result, because even using an ovulation chart there is NO way to know EXACTLY when you ovulated or the conception occurred....good luck!

[Mariaguz]

thanks..but i still think its my husband because i took a first response ovulation test and there 99% accurate and i took it again 3 days later and i had stop ovulating....but thanks anyway it just ..i still worry

[Ashelen]

well they're 99% at predicting ovulation but ovulation occurs over 24-48 hours....so all the kits do is indicate that ovulation is about to occur, which is a one or two day leeway beyond that....but the big problem is that conception can occur over a few days and so you could have conceived at the end, or you could have conceived at the beginning of the window, which is about 72 hours USUALLY....but I've known the OPKs to be off before and indicate ovulation that doesn't occur for another 3 or 4 days...

it's really just impossible to tell, but I hope you're right I can't imagine what you're going through :(.

[waitn838]

its too close to tell...only a DNA test will give you the truth...anything is possible...i was already pregnant from my bf who pulled out so dont rely on that...

i would do a DNA test to know...a family member was raising a child he thought was his for 8 years...found it wasn't his when his new wife couldnt get pregnant because he's INFERTILE....sooooo....as they say the truth will always reveal itself and so will yours

[msteri]

I have the same due date as you and I ovulated around August 17.  Of course our cycles are  different, but it just goes to show that even though we have the same exact due date, our babies were conceived at different times. If you don't believe it's your ex's then fine, but the only way to know for sure is to have a DNA test because the dates are just too close.

[Mariaguz]

thanks..i talked to my doctor and  explained the situation he tells me that although people say you can become pregnant  even if he doesnt ejaculate he said it unlikely that precum does not carry sperm unless the person ejaculates before hand...I got married very younf ive been with my husband for 4 years and the only method we've used is the pullout so id like to believe my doctor when he says precum cannot get someone pregnant

i know in my gut its my husband when the baby is born ill be able to tell ..my husband and my ex..are worlds apart phisically..............thanks again  ...ive been miserable ..i havent been able to enjoy  my pregnancy because of the stress ..and scared and crying..so hopefully everything will be fine in the end

[ammanda]

I am due May 7th a day before you, and I concieved sometime between the 9th and 15th.  Although there is no way to be sure except a DNA test Im about 97% sure that it is your husbands.  And you say your 30 weeks, wouldnt you be 31 weeks?  Just wondering cause Your a day after me and Im 31 weeks right now.

[smjmekg]

A DNA test is the ONLY way you're going to be able to be sure. When I had my son he looked EXACTLY like me in all my baby pictures, but as he's gotten older, 20 months now, he's started to look like his dad too. Your baby may come out looking like you and not look like the father until later on. Unless you mean they're "worlds apart physically" as in different ethnicity, i.e. white vs African American than you're not going to be able to tell the second the baby pops out, you're going to need a DNA test to be sure. Not to be mean, but if you haven't already you need to come clean to your husband and tell him about it. I assume you want him in the delivery room, and if your baby comes out and it's OBVIOUS the baby is NOT from your husband...that's not really the time you want him to find out, in my opinion. It's better that you tell him now instead of him getting the shock of his life in the delivery room.

[smjmekg]

By the way, I don't know why your doctor told you pre ejaculate does not contain sperm...but it does. I know many women who got pregnant using the "pull out" method, and their significant other did not ejaculate inside them...they got pregnant from pre ejaculate. There's not nearly as many sperm, but it only takes one.

[faye83]

I personally know a couple of women and read many stories online of women that became pregnant with precum. Gotta get that DNA test

[sprarah]

Sorry but your doctor is a moron!!! Two of my children were conceived using the pull out method......dont believe everything a doctor tells you.....it has been proven that there is sprerm in precum. And if you are soooo certain your doc is right and your husband is the father than why did you ask the question??? It may be more likely that your husband is the father but it is also still possible your ex could be. And I agree with smjmekg.....you should tell your husband.....what you have done is wrong and you need to remember you are involving a child now and you need to think of how your actions can affect your child. I dont know your personal situation but if you are unhappy then maybe you should not be with your husband instead of living a lie. I am a firm believer that what goes around comes around and that the truth always comes out. Wouldnt you rather it be now instead of when your child is older and has to live with the consequences of YOUR actions???? Not tryin to be mean.....just honest......Good luck

[Ashelen]

I'm sorry to say I think sprarah and smjmekg are right about this..you really need to tell your husband now before he possibly finds out something devastating the day your baby gets here..that's not fair to him, not that any of what happened IS fair to him.

pre-ejaculate DOES contain enough sperm to impregnate a woman, because like smj said..it only takes one.

and yeah my daughter looked nothing like me OR my husband when she was born...she had dark skin and black hair, and both of us are fair with brown hair....but as the weeks went by she started looking just like me, but with her daddy's hair and mouth. And I KNOW who the father is, because I've only had one partner in my entire life, and she STILL didn't look like either of us at first....so going by that could be a big mistake.

and if you and ammanda are only one day off...if she conceived between the 9th and 15th, then your peak conception date would be between the 10th and 16th...which is WAY too close to the 17th to know paternity without DNA because those days can be off by 2 or 3 days in either direction.

you're playing russian roulette with everything right now and I really hope it turns out to be your husband...but I think honesty may be the best policy right now because if the baby grows up looking like another man, you will tear your family apart....:(.

I'm sorry all of this sounds so harsh and I don't mean to make it harder on you, but I agree with the other ladies about what they've said....

[waitn838]

I GOT PREGNANT ON PRECUM ALREADY...look it online it DOES contain sperm and this can get your pregnant

i know there are other women who got pregnant using the "pullout" method....

DNA is the only way you will know for sure...your baby changes appearances a lot during the first couple years....dont lie to your husband and make him believe it's his when you are not 100% sure it is....that is not fair and when the truth comes out you'll have doomed your relationship because you cant be honest...you chose to make the mistake now you only you can choose to do the right thing

i know im harsh but my cousin went 8 years thinking this little girl was his...he remarried during that time and tried for another year to have anotehr kid and couldnt...testing reveals he's infertile...you have no clue what kind of damage that did to our family and him....

im very bitter when it comes to these topics...but i am a strong belliever in what goes around comes around....only the truth will set you free....he'll find out eventually!!!!!

[julianovak]

ummm, if your trying to concieve (conceive) your husbands baby, why would you have sex with another man.??? hopefully your relationship is good between you and your husband. hope for the best, and do a paturnity test once the baby is born no way to know for sure even if baby looks like your hub.

[yummymom]

Sperm is in pre-*** when they c*m and stick it back in, pee and sperm come out from the same pipe so unless the person c*ms befor sex without peeing yes pre-*** will get you pregnant FACT!!

[yummymom]

And it is very possible to be the other guys