issues with future mother in law

[jam11spo]

My boyfriends mom is trying to take over everything !!! and I am afraid once my baby is here she's going to try and literally do anything she can to take my baby!!! For example I told his mom that I wanted to have an untraditional baby shower and I wanted to plan it on my own and she took it upon herself to buy her own invitations for her own family when I already bought some and she made up favors without telling me or any of my family. My step mom and grandmother were practically crying because they thought I wasn't involving them. The baby shower isn't the only thing, she's also making decisions for our house because he's renovating it right now.. and it doesn't help were going to be living across the street from her .. before all this I lived with him and she walked in our house and her grandchildren whenever they pleased to ( like what if I was naked) speaking of naked she randomly walked in while I was naked in the bathtub to talk to me like wth? This all has gotten me SO upset that I am staying at my moms house. I am getting to the point where I want to break up with him because of her because all of our problems revolve around her. I think once I have this baby she will so anything in her power to have him and this scares me because she already adopted 7 of her grandchildren... I just need some advice?? Please help...

[dueoctober22]

Omg I know how you feel my partner is older than me and his parents had him late in life - there 70 and do my head in!  I have no name apart from bumpy! They constantly interfere and wen my partner leant them a key they got a spare on cut n kept it!  They always tell me what they are planning on doing with my son,  wen I disagree they act like I have slapped them - they forget I'm going to be mum,  my partner never listened just said that's them it's there age blah blah,  there even moving near me grrrr lol I told my partner that wen they come down I will take the baby out everytime - I told him to man up or I'd leave because it was that bad,  he's keeping them at bay but I'm being strong on this one and have my foot down on this one,  hope it works out for you just stay strong hun!  X

[dueoctober22]

Omg I know how you feel my partner is older than me and his parents had him late in life - there 70 and do my head in!  I have no name apart from bumpy! They constantly interfere and wen my partner leant them a key they got a spare on cut n kept it!  They always tell me what they are planning on doing with my son,  wen I disagree they act like I have slapped them - they forget I'm going to be mum,  my partner never listened just said that's them it's there age blah blah,  there even moving near me grrrr lol I told my partner that wen they come down I will take the baby out everytime - I told him to man up or I'd leave because it was that bad,  he's keeping them at bay but I'm being strong on this one and have my foot down on this one,  hope it works out for you just stay strong hun!  X

[trying43]

It seems the problem is more with your bf not stepping up for you and taking her side. Your bf needs to make a decision, does he want to be with his mommy or you and your baby?  If he isn't standing up for you now it will be worse when baby gets here.  I would tell him he needs to talk to his mother and if he doesn't you have your answer, he is still attached to her apron strings.  I wouldn't move in to a house where his mother is in control because it will never be your home.  As far as talking to her, that wont go well, she will turn it all around back on you.  If you do decide to talk to her do so with your bf present so he can hear what is said. I've been in this situation before fortunately my husband figured it out(took awhile his mom also lived 2 houses down, she showed her true colors when she began calling our house at 10 pm one night we were sleeping and when we didn't answer she was banging on our door at 2am! He then realized my point and began seeing his mothers behavior for what it was) that our family came first, mommy came second, and he understood my need for privacy and boundaries.  I hope you can get this situation resolved, I feel for you, good luck.

[TxMamma]

Wow. That's a whole lotta crazy. There is a book called "Boundaries" that you may find helpful. It kinda gives you ideas on how to set boundaries with people. I can say that you likely wont get far with you bf being a mommas boy. So you'll have to set the boundaries yourself. Also, look into getting a chain added to your doors. That way even if she has a key, she can't get in. You shouldn't have to do this but she seems pretty determined.

[jam11spo]

.....And the worst part is my boyfriend is a mommas boy and is always on his moms side like to him she never does a thing wrong. I tried talking to her about the baby shower but then it caused this huge argument between me and my boyfriend because she purposely played "pity me".

[tasha_labruyere]

Oh girl I know the feeling. my fiancee and I live behind his mother n father. And she constantly just barges in whenever she feels.like it without calling or nething. Now shes constantly calling and asking me tons of questions. That dont even matter really. And I also wanted to do my own baby shower n she argued with me about it and was like I dont want u too I wanna do it. And just took it upon her self to start doing stuff she already sent out invites without even asking if I had certain people I wanted to invite! Ughh she makes me soo madd!!!

[adanner24]

Tell her its ur baby not hers and please back off and that Shes obviously smothering u. A stressed mom equals a stressed baby. Tell.ur boyfriend to also speak with her firmly and be upfront about each issue.
Its hard for others to.not get overly involved or opinionated....especially grandmothers and inlaws. Been there done that. Ive recently had to deal with my mother in law and her trying to tell me Im having a boy just cause i didnt get morning sickness and low n behold Im having a girl!!!! Thank god cuz i have two stepsons. But anyways. Stand ur ground and if she has anything rude to say....just tell her ur sorry she feels that way and go about ur business.

[1sttimemummy_boy]

OMG MY MIL DOES MY HEAD IN!!!!
I would sit down as a family that way she won't e so threatened, and so everyone can be there. I no it sounds so primary school, but once you have come to an understanding maybe write it down and you both sign it .

Just ask for some respect and some trust! Just because your a new mother doesn't make u a idiot, tell her u know what u r doing and if u don't then u will ask for help!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!

[marisol_jose1]

My opinion would be to talk to her and let her know how you feel and let your boyfriend know what's going on. I know what you mean about your mil because my mil is the same way and it's annoying. My husband and I only have problems because of her!