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need advice
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need advice

My boyfriend and I are going thru a hard time...  before we got together I had sex with another guy and him so there is a chance that the baby is not his. I apologized so many times he doesn't want to talk to me at all nothing to do with me... he was going to propose to me too: ( I told him that I love him and I am sorry but he doesn't believe me and he says I never loved him...  I need help what can I say to him to get him to believe me I love him and miss him every day and I want to be a family with him
24 Comments Post a Comment
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4476664_tn?1361636549
If he knew there was someone else before him or right around that time then it shouldn't be that big of a surprise to him. He is probably hurt because no man wants to hear that a baby (especially if they are excited about it) may not be theirs. You could always let him know that regardless of the outcome that he would be in that childs life. He may just need some time. Depending on how he found this out, he may just be disappointed. Hopefully he will come around.
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Avatar_f_tn
I can understand why he would be upset to find that the baby may not be his. But I dont understand how he can say you dont love him etc because you had sex with someone.before you two got together. You didnt cheat or anything, what happens before you date someone is irrelevant
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Avatar_f_tn
He was soo excited for the baby: ( he was excited to be in the room with me holding my hand thru the entire time of labor now he doesn't want to be near the hospital when my daughter is born I don't know how I am going to get thru it without him:( I hope he comes around
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4476664_tn?1361636549
When did you tell him that there was another guy??
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Avatar_f_tn
A month after I found out I was pregnant because I forgot about the other guy
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4476664_tn?1361636549
Well, even if he doesn't see it yet.....I know you love him, if you didn't then you could have just not told him at all. He just probably feels betrayed in a sense... I don't blame him. if the shoe was on the other foot, it would be hard for you to swallow too. Give him some time and let him know that yu should have told him sooner but that guy didn't cross your mind because of how excited you were with the thought of raising a family with him! If that guy meant nothing then he should somewhat understand if he was before your boyfriend. Men have a harder time excepting honesty and truth than we ladies do, believe it or not.
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Avatar_f_tn
Yeah your right I feel a little bit better thank you!
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4476664_tn?1361636549
Your welcome luv, hopefully you guys can sit and talk when he has gotten over some things. I know it ***** now, but things have a way of working out in the end : )
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5221747_tn?1365399845
You might be having another man's baby.... Of choose he's upset and wants nothing to do with you. I'm sure when you have a dna test done and it turns out to be his, he'll want to be in the baby's life. But if it isn't, how can you expect him to want anything to do with you? You slept with another guy obviously without protection and then him without protection... That's a little dirty... I recommend condoms next time
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Avatar_f_tn
Yikes .
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4476664_tn?1361636549
Okay!! **** definitely happens, and not everyone is perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes and how do we know that she didn't use protection with the  first?? Condom could have broke....now that's just me assuming, but nothing less than wha your doing.....which is assuming. I'm pretty sure she has figured out that hes pissed and hurt. No need to proclaim her being or what she did as dirty, people sometimes don't think. No one is perfect. That was a bit harsh. She knows she messed up but that doesn't mean she has to stop caring for this person. She just possibly needed to take it from his point of view. She will have to deal with it....but wow!
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Avatar_f_tn
^^i agree with Gordon. I am at a loss for words
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2020005_tn?1404435525
^ triple agree... rude. no one is perfect... no one. and NO ONE is too judge you. dont let anyone make you feel that way.
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5111430_tn?1377666821
We all make mistakes. She obviously knows she made a mistake, no need to make her feel bad. It's all in the past now honey and he will come around, if he loves You he will be there for You even of the baby isn't his. I have seen plenty of men be with women that already have child(ren) by someone else. If he truly loves You he will love and accept your baby girl, even if she's not his.
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4589197_tn?1375226996
I recommend pulling your head out of your *** prior to posting next time :)

Raven- I'm sure he'll come around, he's probably just hurt but it's not like you intentionally did anything to hurt him. Keep your head up :)
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2020005_tn?1404435525
^ lol!
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5111430_tn?1377666821
^^ lmbo
Nobody can judge except GOD!

Think before you speak (type) because it sounds like your judging.
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4670474_tn?1358225096
D A N G., miss perfect on top took it to the next level.,like everyone that has been respectful on this pist has said he probably just needs some time.,it is obvious that yu didnt know that the next guy you were going to be with was the guy yu knew yu wanted to be settled down with and raise a family with as well he will come around..seems like he loves you and just is upset and yu have to be able to put yourself in his shoes and just let him cope.,if he doesnt cone arpund when the baby is born do a dna test and im sure if its his he'll be over joyed with happiness.,just be strong girl
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Avatar_f_tn
Aurora ur rude if u dont have nice words take ur attitude elsewhere.. this girl needs advice and support not rude comments from ppl like you
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow, I can't believe how far people take comments sometimes. I guess I was just brought up to not say anything if I don't have anything nice to say. So when I see a post that I think is just ridiculous or completely against what I believe.... I don't comment. Somebody always has to be a bully. Things happen. It may not be something that has happened to you but I'm sure you're not perfect.... No one is.... For the original post, I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Whether you end up with him or find someone who will love you and your baby with everything he's got. Hang in there!
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Avatar_f_tn
^^ excellent words there girl! Very true!
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Avatar_f_tn
She hasnt even replief either shes sad n outta words or hadnt even seen it. Poor girl everyone makes mistskes ur fine u dnt  need anybody bt ur baby keep ur head up. Comments like those just ignore. Im sorry ppl are soo rude
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5221747_tn?1365399845
I was in no way being rude at all. Just because I'm looking at it from his point of view, doesn't mean I'm being a b!tch. How dare all of you assume my tone of voice or how i was trying to come across through words on a screen. Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean YOU need to be rude and assume. Just because she's pregnant, it doesn't mean you need to walk on eggshells and encourage bad behavior. I'm so sorry i was taught to use protection and to not sleep with multiple partners causing me to stress about who might be the father of my child.
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4476664_tn?1361636549
No one encouraged anything. Like I said, S*** happens and you don't know the circumstances. We only know what we were told via the post. Again, NO ONE is perfect.
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