need support

[anonymous03]

I told my parents about me being pregnant last week and they didn't take it all that well like I had expected. They have been really upset and we don't talk much. I had told them alone, telling my boyfriend that I wanted to do it by myself. Now he is being distant with me and I really need him around. I don't think I can do this on my own. I'm scared about all of this and my support doesn't seem to be there at all. I'm pretty embarrassed that I am pregnant to begin with, as it wasn't planned that I get pregnant in college. I wanted to get my degree first. Though the plans changed now. Do you think my parents will come around? My family usually is really supportive. We had all been there for my cousin who got knocked up in high school. Yet they are being distant with me. And I really need my boyfriend. I don't get why he is acting like this. I asked him the other day and he didn't say anything. I don't get it.

[anonymous03]

Thanks. I know I have time to really think about this, but it's hard that when I want everyone around in the beginning, that's when everyone seems to be gone. I've backed away from constantly trying to get my boyfriend to answer his phone, which feels like I'm giving up though. I felt like a lot of my plans usually worked, but not anymore. I used to always get it to go my way. I got into the school I wanted, got the scholarship, got good grades, my professors like me, etc. It's just that the brakes have been put on now for a while til I figure out how this is all going to work. I think I'd really be excited about having this baby if I knew my boyfriend was there and was stable, but he's been so distant. I am really scared about it. My cousin, aunt and uncle have come around and are being supportive. They've been great since yesterday. Hoping my parents will come around soon, too. It'd be nice with them there. I know they're upset because they feel like I let them down, all the pressure to be someone great was put on me, but it kind of got messed up now. I still want to go for physical therapy school. I basically have my in already by a few professors I have gotten to know. I'm really excited about that. Just hope I can make it with added responsibilities now. I still haven't processed everything in my head. It's just been a lot to absorb. Thanks for everyone's kind words. I needed to hear it.

[JoyRenee]

I just read the other comments and I have to agree- you're an adult. Don't be embarrassed. Embrace this whole new journey with everything you've got. It's okay to be scared and nervous. Once the adrenaline wears off a bit and time slows down you realize, "Okay it takes almost an entire year to be pregnant" and you realize you've got time to process and prepare.

But I just have to encourage you to be confident in yourself and your abilities. You CAN do this.

[JoyRenee]

Well it should be said that plans never go according to plan... most of the time. And you just have to learn to roll with it. You just found out, you just told your parents, the boyfriend is seemingly putting a wall up... I think everyone just needs a little time to relax and take it all in.

The daddy of your little one may come around. Men process things differently than women. They distance themselves, they put up walls. Don't call or text him for a few days and just give him some space. You'll find he may call you or come around when you stop pursuing him.

Your parents just need time to adjust and to swallow this. I can tell you from experience they come around. I was 19 when I got pregnant (the daddy was 18) with my first daughter. When we told his parents I had a very rocky relationship with his mom. She wasn't mean or anything. Just kind of distant and I could tell she was disappointed with us both.

But once my baby girl was born she was practically banging down the hospital doors in eagerness to hold her new grandbaby. Ever since my eldest was born I've been very close to my mom-in-law. We now have three daughters, a dog and two cats and a nice little mortgage. Life couldn't be any better! Were we at that point 5 years ago when I first held a newborn baby girl in my arms? No way! We were hardly making it month-to-month with bills and living in a freezing apartment and my husband was working at Home Depot just to try to get by.

You just have to take things one day at a time. Nothing lasts forever. You'll have highs in life and you'll have lows. Having a baby is the most amazing, beautiful, incredible thing that will EVER happen to you. I promise you that!

And you can still get your degree, you can still have a career and you can still be a mom all at the same time. ;-)

[anonymous03]

Well I guess it's slight progress that my boyfriend is texting me, though he won't call me for what ever reason. My cousin, aunt and uncle are being supportive, though my parents are still kind of upset about this. Though I do think my dad is starting to come around. I could really use them, so I hope this doesn't go on much longer.

[sam_kile222]

I am sorry that everyone is being short with you. This is a really stressed time for you right now and you need your support. If you can manage to be really optimistic about this pregnancy, it might lighten the mood and help them not to be stressed. Let them know just because it wasn't planned doesn't change the fact that this is one of the happiest moments in your life. Everyone will forever love you and your baby it just seems overwhelming for the moment.

[anonymous03]

Thanks. It definitely wasn't planned, we usually plan things out. Said we'd get our degrees, be set in our careers, then have a family. And we'd be married, too. But that plan got a bit messed up now that I am pregnant. I would have hoped if that is why he's so upset that he would have told me instead of the weird silent treatment. It's not like him to act this way. He is normally very mature and responsible. I don't live with my boyfriend, I'm living with roommates, though will be moving in with him now. He'll be over on Wednesday on his day off and we can really talk then. I hope he's done with the weird acting. I really want to have him around, he means the world to me. It kills me that we aren't really talking. It's a lot to try to take on by myself, I can't do it alone.

[BTS1022]

Your in college...and this obviously wasn't a planned pregnancy, well crap happens all the time. Parents like this seem to be in my opinion selfish, they need to take a step back and think about how your feeling, as this pregnancy wasn't intentional.

On a second note, I am 25 almost 26 and TERRIFIED every time I have to tell them i'm expecting. I'm a grown woman, I have my own house, my own car, very responsible, and I chose to tell my parents about this pregnancy via text message lol. Not just because I was scared, but they also live in a different state, a phone call could have worked, but I know i'd be screamed at from one end to the other. My parents are very religious, They are Mormons. I was baptized when I was 13 on my fathers terms, I didn't want it. Mormons do not believe in getting pregnant by someone your not married to, and they do not believe in living with your boyfriend/Fiance, you can only live together AFTER your married. I however disagree with this. I chose to have sex with my fiance because honestly......you don't buy a car without test driving it first lol. So I commend you for being brave enough to tell your parents up front, whether alone or not.

As far as the BoyF goes, he may just be upset because A: This is his baby, and may feel that he wants to be around and involved in EVERY aspect, including telling your parents. And B: He is probably upset because he couldn't be there to support you when telling your parents, after all this baby was made between you and him, and he could have been wanting to take the responsibility like he should. He may feel very alone, because you told your parents on your own, like you didn't or don't need him, but in fact you do, and you should relay that to him....let him know you need him now more than ever!

[anonymous03]

My parents know he is still around, but don't know that he is being all distant and acting weird at the moment. He is coming over on wednesday, so we can all talk then. Hopefully he won't be acting weird then. I'd like to have my boyfriend back. This guy he is acting like now isn't him and it's not how I expected him to act. My aunt seems excited about it all, my mom didn't say much though when we had lunch today. It's just a lot to deal with. I feel overwhelmed.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

As a parent myself, and as a daughter who got pregnant at the age of 18 I believe your parents will come around.  This is a big shock to them and I'm sure they are feeling a ton of different emotions.  Do your parents know that you bf is still in the picture? I think making that clear will give them a little more peace of mind about it.  Give them time to sort through their emotions, if they are usually very supportive then I'm sure they will be with this as well, however it IS a big pill for them to swallow and they need time.  

Regardless of whether they are disappointed or upset by this or not you ARE an adult.  Keep that in mind.  Having a baby is NOTHING to be embarrased about, planned or not.  A child is a gift, a blessing.  I'm almost 33 years old and have been with my husband 11 years, we already have kids together and my mom STILL got upset this time when I told her I was pregnant.  With my last pregnancy she snapped at me "don't you use protection?"  After reminding her that I AM an adult and can make my own decisions and that it's not like my other kids aren't well taken care of.  Anyway, both times it took her a few weeks to really let it sink in and after that she became excited.  My whole point in telling you that is to show you that parents react in strange ways, regardless of the situation.  Give it a little time. Perhaps having a sit down with your parents AND your boyfriend to discuss everyones feelings and what YOUR plans are will help!

[anonymous03]

It might be because of that, though I would hope he would just tell me if he was mad about that. I told my parents alone, but was with him when we told his parents. They are excited about all of this, so I guess I get some support. Though his parents don't speak the best English, so it can be hard to understand them at times. If he doesn't call, I think I'll call from my aunt's phone, and I'm sure he'll pick up then. I hadn't thought much about the possibility of miscarriage. I was so scared when I saw the positive test, that I felt like I had to tell my parents soon. ugh, it's just so overwhelming.

[Cassandrajane]

Maybe its cause you told your Parents alone?? Was you with him when he told his parents?
If he doesnt call on His lunch call him off an unknown number he might answer??
Because he doesnt know the number maybe????
Because after my Termination my next pregnancy ended in MC I got pregnant in the same week (LOL) well I didnt want to tell anyone untill I was over 12 weeks just incase. Buut he told everyone I went mad...
But your parents wwill be suportive. Im sure, and tell them what your boyfriend is doing and how he is acting

x

[anonymous03]

Yea, I think the lunch is a good sign. I want their support. I don't know why my boyfriend is acting like this. He had been supportive when we had thought I might be pregnant, saying he'll be with me no matter what. He had said he'd tell my parents with me, even though he was afraid my dad would hit him or something, too. lol. Though I said I wanted to do it alone. I think it was better that way, since we aren't married. I hope he calls me soon. He should be on lunch in an hour.

[Cassandrajane]

With my first pregnancy my Boyf went MAD!  but we wasnt together at the time (We was on a break cause of everything) I couldnt keep it anyways as I was like 5 stone and he didnt want it. we are together now and currently pregnant again he was at my scan and smiled SO much made me happy. Well, if they invited you to lunch, it must be looking good right?? my mum just shrugged asked if I was happy and went okay LOL.

But dont let them tell you to do anything you dont wanna do. Well tell your Boyf he is an Idiot. From me! :) Because you seem really nice and he seems like a douche now. I told my Parents on my own, (My boyf was scared my dad would hit him) LOL. But everything is fine.
He will come around if he dont then he is stupid and you have your Parents and stuff because it sounds like they are coming arounds :)


x

[anonymous03]

Thanks. I'm really hope they'll come around soon. I don't like the awkward silence and upset looks. My boyfriend keeps saying he is busy, so we don't talk much. I called him this morning, but he didn't answer. I got a text back, saying he'll call later. I'm going to lunch with my mother, aunt, and grandma a little later today. Hopefully it will go well.

[Cassandrajane]

Your parents should come around... Can you not get them involved and ask questions like stuff you should eat and stuff??
and as for your BF, get him involved. Tell him you NEED to talk.

Im sorry this is happening to you :(, (Your parents and boyf being funny with you.)

I really am. :(
Just talk to them,

Im here if you need to talk :)

xx