ok, what do you guys think?

[worriedbabe]

i've been too embarrassed to say as i thought by the age of 32 i'd be able to tell the good guys from the bad. the dad of this pregnancy has ignored me entirely since i told him i was pregnant. i'd only been seein him a few months and the pregnancy wasn't planned, contraception failed. i've been texting hm telling him about problems with the pregnancy etc and i never get any reply. his totally ignoring me is stressing me out and driving me potty. i don't know what to think. he seemed so nice until i got pregnant. what do you think is goin on with him? i'm grateful for any ideas.

[worriedbabe]

lol! i'd already decided i want nothing to do with him, it's just about the baby. and don't worry about the straight up...i much prefer things that way.

[ciara3107]

Sorry to be so straight up but sounds like since it wasn't planned he might not have wanted a child.  I was with my son's father for a few months and my pregnancy was also unplanned.  We stayed together throughout the pregnancy and for about a year later, then I broke up with him because he was basically another son to take care of,lol.  My son will be two next month and although his father loves him, he just doesn't seem to be around.  At first I kept trying for him to around but came to realize it was only stressing me out. Guys are just idiots!  My advice would be to enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can and try not to stress yourself out wit the father.  Focus your attention on your child now and if he wants to come around then let him.  But I would definitely keep it strictly about the child because he seems like an *******!

[amberd5191]

I just wanted to say: Lots and lots of luck to you. We are all here to listen and talk whenever you need an ear.

[ArmyPrincess819]

Men are so unpredictable even when you are married to them. I don't know what to think. I don't know him so I can't speak for him. There is no right or wrong way to have a relationship or have a baby. I have been with my dh for yrs and we go all the way back to jr high and the same bus in elementary school 3 kids and one on the way and 6 m/cs we seperated in dec for a short time. He was so scared of my having another m/c and not being my rock.He lost a piece permanately when we lost our baby in sept. We are now in counseling andf for today we are rock solid. Not even for us but for the baby we made. I think you need to step back and take care of yourself and pg. In time ask him to please be there for the baby. If you hammer him it will only drive him away if you forget about him it's not fair to the baby. I can't imagine how you feel. Especailly at the fact you were using contraception and it failed. Yikes. I suggest for right now doing the things you need to build your life for your baby coming. I hope you wont' go the road alone but if so there is alot of support systems out there. My mom was a single mom so it' can be done. is it fun No did you sign up for it no is this baby meant to be Yes. I will keep you in my thoughts. I wish you the best if you need to talk I'm here if you have any questions please ask. I hope it all works out for you. Keep strong!
Hugs,
AP

[Linzola1]

I really don't have any advice since I have never been there, but it seems like you are a strong women and you can do this on your own and thats great! I want to wish you the best of Luck and just relax and concentrate on your pregnancy!

[tarajanes]

Good for you.but trust me i was just like you.but as your child grows older he or she will start asking questions.and want to know about his dad.and whether you like it or not when he or she is older,they will search for there dad.the child will resent you for keeping them apart.i went through this with my son few years ago.as a baby your right you can protect him or her.but understand when there older it will be different,and you will feel different,i know you dont now.i can imagine what your saying now...if he decides he wants to be part of the childs life make sure its on your terms,keep us updated..

[worriedbabe]

but i don't want him in and out of baby's life confusing him. he's either in or out it's as simple as that. i think you're right about the texting and calling. that's kinda what i meant by cuttin him out.

[worriedbabe]

thanks hun. he's known for 2 months though and he's ignored me even when i've told him it stresses me out. he knows it's high risk and i don't need stress. i don't think i could forgive him whatever he says now. if he's not seein the baby from birth, i don't want him seein him at all.

[tarajanes]

Dont fret about it.Ive been in your shoes,it was  a long time ago.my son who is now 15 and a half.oh my god im old .
Any way i was dateing a marine who was totally the same,didnt want anything to do with me.when he found out i was pregnant,he didnt meet his son until he was 3months old.
then he was full of oh if you need anything just call,all the usual bull,but nothing.so i was a single mother till my son was 7.then his father showed up.i didnt deny him access not my right.every child deserves to know his parents,no matter what.I can say this as im a adult who has never met her father.it isnt nice,anyway my son has contact with his father now.and yep csa stings him,serves him right.what im saying is he will get in touch,as pp said give him time to mull things over.dont text or call,you only wind yourself up.no good for bump.best of luck.

[Lucey12]

You do have to realize that only being with him for a short time and now your havinga  kid together scares him alot. There are many people I know who are single mothers because of this. He might just need some space but let him know that if he is out you dont want him trying for legal cuztodaya dn rights when your child is 5 or something liek that. If you have raised your child without a father then it isnt far to the child to all of a sudden have a dad want to be part of his life.Single mothers are still great parents so if all else fails and he doesnt talk to you again, you will be a great mom without him. Think of the positive, you can raise yoru child how you want and dont have to accomadate what he wants in the childs life.

Hang in there!!! You will be ok babe.

[worriedbabe]

thanks you guys. i've tried texting and ringing and he just ignores it. as it's a high risk pregnancy and he's been doing nothing but cause me stress...i've decided to cut him out. at least that way i know what the rest of my pregnancy entails instead of a big cloud of confusion. I've told him i'm not telling him anything from now on and the csa will kick his irresponsible *** once baby's born. I also said all i wanted to know was where he stood and there was no need for him to be such a d@#! . that's probably a lot of hormones talkin but he'll get the point lol

[amberd5191]

I would call him. Then if he doesn't answer leave a pleasant message telling him you just have a quick question. The curiousity will get him to call. At that  point I would talk to him and say do you not want to know what is going on with your baby? If not I will leave you alone and we can figure things out when he/she gets here. Tell him you just want to know where he stands, and why he hasn't been around?

Sorry you are going through this!

[wanttobeamumagain]

Oh babe he sounds like such a d**k. Your better off without him. At the end of the day it takes two, men are such babies!! Dont waste your time on him. He'll come running one day with his tail between his legs just like the dog he is. AHH THATS BETTER.