older kids?

[mamabear20]

I plan on my daughter, shes 4, to b n delivery room n everything until time to push, she has been involved with all doc appts to keep her less jealous which is working. What is your opinion on her being there? What should i bring for her to do that will keep her interest the longest again shes 4.

[kerriekab]

Just think if you were going out for the day what would you normally take with you to keep her occupied? Just plan some things around that and make sure someone else is there to keep her occupied while you are being examined or having contractions etc!

[Ashelen]

My 3.5 year old will be with us because she really wants to. I tend to cope with pain quietly and internally and usually use humor to cope with the worst pain, including my unmedicated back labor with baby #2 so I'm not worried about upsetting her with my pain.  When she first told me she wanted to be there I showed her all sorts of gross graphic labor videos thinking it would dissuade her... But she was very matter-of-fact about it and fascinated more she's spent the last 3 months reminding me how her brother will be born and telling me how it all works so I don't forget.  LOL. I've been having labor contractions for over 48 hours now and she's just getting more and more excited.  I think it depends entirely on the children, their maturity level,   and how your labor pans out.  I will NOT be bringing my 21-month -old son.. The thought of bringing him is insane because he's just too nutso lol. For my daughter we packed favorite snacks,  a dvd player,  some blankets and pillows if she gets sleepy,  some books, etc.

[coffeebuzzedliz]

I also do not plan on having my daughter there. She is younger then your child, but I just feel like the room is going to be busy and having a young child who doesn't understand what is happening, especially with mom in pain is not going to be a good experience for her. I plan on having the grandparents or aunts and uncles to watch her and keep her entertained, so I know she will have fun and I wont have to worry. I know my daugher and she would want to be with me in the bed and that probably wouldn't go well.

[trying43]

I didn't bring my kids because I knew they would get scared to see me in so much pain and getting an iv and all that. They are 9 and 7.   I had them there immediately after the baby was born.  It worked out better that way because I had to have an amnio infusion because the cord was being compressed so it was a scary situation and im glad they didn't have to witness.  Good luck.

[MamaBear0612]

Yes I think I'd probably avoid it too. Kids are highly empathetic and you'll be in pain...that could be traumatic for her. I saw a birth when I was 18 or 19, and it was traumatic for me lol, and she's very young. I think if I were making the decision, I'd probably just bring her in for visits, and right afterwards. If she's one of the first to hold the baby, that will also make her feel like a part of it. One things my parents did do when I was a little girl and my mom was in labor with my brother was they got us "big brother" and "big sister" gifts. They were coloring books and games and crafts that would keep us occupied while the baby was being born, and it made the whole thing exciting and positive for us.

[auntie4life]

I know people who have done this but only with home births.  I don't have any children but my nephews are like my boys and I wouldn't want them there for that.  Only after.  But to each their own.  

[sorenr]

I personally wouldnt as my kids freaked out when I was having blood taken at my last appt. I dont think its good for them to see mum in pain especially when in their heads it is baby causing it. I know that giving birth is scarier for those watching it than for us going through it, our natural instincts take control and for me my head was not really on this planet, every natural coping technique kicked in, but I know the process scared my ex. I would worry I would traumatise the kids.
That is very much just my personal point of view, I'm sure for some families being together through it all could be wonderful, its just not something my kids could cope with.

[Rachel_croft]

I wish I didn't have to bring my son. Hes five and he thinks the baby is hurting me and gets mad sometimes. I just moved out here with my husband and we don't have much of a choice. Hopefully my mom can come cuz I know kids are not allowed in the room during the actual birth.

[steph_ut]

A friend of mine recently had her almost 3.5 year old present for the birth of their second and she had a trusted family friend (actually her daughter's baby sitter) there. She acted as the daughter's doula, taking her for walks when she got overwhelmed, explaining different parts, etc so my friend and her husband could concentrate on the birth. She did have a home birth, which would have different logistics than being at a hospital but it sounded like a great experience!

I have personally decided not to have my daughter present (almost 4) but that's just my personal preference since I have tried not to associate bad things with baby brother... She was very concerned when I had bad nausea so it just seems like the right choice for us. She'll hopefully be hanging out with grandma and grandpa if baby boy waits until near his due date to appear! We will have wifi and will talk via Skype when it's not too intense and My parents will bring her immediately after the birth to meet baby brother.

[lovebugs2008]

I want my 3 yr old with me also cuz shes been a huge part of my pregnacy from the moment I told her im just worried that it might b to much for her when im in pain cuz she always crys when I feel a lil bit of pain so im not sure hows that gonna work

[sehale]

If she has a movie she just loves, bring it and a portable DVD player (or laptop or anything that will play a DVD) and some headphones. My niece is six and she can't sit still for more than five minutes unless her favorite movie is on.

If that's not an option, try bringing some crayons and a coloring book and ask her to color some pictures for little brother or sister.

I want my niece in the room with me until the pushing starts because she is absolutely thrilled about having a baby cousin she can "babysit" lol. So I totally understand.