Aa
ot...am i wrong for feeling angry?
i'm sure some of you know about my ex, 2 of my boys' dad ( violent alcoholic who loves nothing better than to cause me suffering in whatever way he can ). well, he's going for custody of liam again this year. he does it every year and is never successful. but, this time, him and his family have badmouthed me so much to social services that i now have to do a core assessment. i don't feel threatened by this or nervous about it. i know i'm a great mum and liam is thriving, so no one in their right mind would take liam from me. but it's really made me angry. i completed vigorous assessments before liam was born and until ten months after he was born ( mostly because of my ex i might add). i did fantastic with all of them and not one single concern was ever raised. because my ex keeps throwing mud, i have always made sure that liam's care has been monitored by professionals on a weekly basis...kinda to cover my but before he does it. again, there have never been any concerns. so, i'm struggling to see where the grounds are for me doing yet another assessment, when by now it should be clear that my ex and his family are malicious and untruthful. i know that is the only place 'concerns' have come from, all the professionals are very happy with liam's care so i'm just so livid that anyone is taking notice of what my ex and company say. it's not only that, my ex has had our other son removed from his care for being drunk in charge and this child was returned without a thorough investigation in my opinion. also, he had several referrals made to social services about his care of this child - none of which came from me. they came from places such as the police, the child's school etc. an investigation was carried out but again, nothing thorough and NO assessments. am i wrong for being so angry about the way i'm being treated here compared to him?
i have never tried for custody of the 8 year old, but it is something i am now considering. i am going to ask my solicitor to find out what grounds social services have for doing this core assessment and if ( as i already know ) there is no real justification, i am going to pursue the matter legally. the social workers are due at my house on tuesday afternoon and i am going to ask them directly what their justification for this assessment is.
Worriedbabe~ I know how tough the stupidity of CPS can be... and how it's aggrivated because of pp... Except in your case it's a LOT worse then I had it.....
Just reassure the 8 year old that you love him and that this baby won't change that. Have you tried for custody of him also???
Personally, you need to tell CPS, next time they come out to investigate a claim, that there have been many false claims placed against you by your ex's family and by your ex himself. You need to see if there's a way to sue for slander and stress that he's caused you. And, you may have to tell CPS that if they don't leave you alone your getting a lawyer.
I had to do that because they were out at my home every 2 weeks or so for stupid stuff, '(my supervisor wants a note from this doctor)" when they had the option to call that dr. I had to write a letter that my dh and I both signed and dated and told them in it that if they didn't leave me be that I'd call a lawyer due to being HARRASSED!. I haven't gotten calls in 2 months!
They ALWAYS focus on the mother more than the father. I think it's a SERIOUS Flaw with the CPS System. Sure... they're there to pull kids in abusive relationships from the home and help repair the family situation... but what they really do is take the kids, make the situation worse, AND they don't take the ones that need it. They focus on the smaller issues that aren't even there!
I think your ex is despiseable. You sound like a great mama as you said! From now on... everytime he calls you drunk, or you know he's watching your 8 yr old drunk, write it down date and time and situation... you can use it in court against him.
I'm sorry that jack*ss is putting you thru this! you should be focusing on that baby your carrying and Liam.
Just reassure the 8 year old that you love him and that this baby won't change that. Have you tried for custody of him also???
Personally, you need to tell CPS, next time they come out to investigate a claim, that there have been many false claims placed against you by your ex's family and by your ex himself. You need to see if there's a way to sue for slander and stress that he's caused you. And, you may have to tell CPS that if they don't leave you alone your getting a lawyer.
I had to do that because they were out at my home every 2 weeks or so for stupid stuff, '(my supervisor wants a note from this doctor)" when they had the option to call that dr. I had to write a letter that my dh and I both signed and dated and told them in it that if they didn't leave me be that I'd call a lawyer due to being HARRASSED!. I haven't gotten calls in 2 months!
They ALWAYS focus on the mother more than the father. I think it's a SERIOUS Flaw with the CPS System. Sure... they're there to pull kids in abusive relationships from the home and help repair the family situation... but what they really do is take the kids, make the situation worse, AND they don't take the ones that need it. They focus on the smaller issues that aren't even there!
I think your ex is despiseable. You sound like a great mama as you said! From now on... everytime he calls you drunk, or you know he's watching your 8 yr old drunk, write it down date and time and situation... you can use it in court against him.
I'm sorry that jack*ss is putting you thru this! you should be focusing on that baby your carrying and Liam.
no u can be pissed... u are talking about ur family.. family is first. but never worry he can never win against u. ur a great mom. u will always have ur kids with u... dont ever doubt for a sec u are any less. u are in control and him and his family cant stand it.. so keep ur head up. and ur eyes open.. i would wish u luck. but u dont need it.. this is already in ur hands.
now i'm really annoyed. my ex has just prompted my 8 year old to call me and ask why the solicitor's letter his dad got mentioned liam ( our son that lives with me ) and not him! he's 8 for god's sake, he should know nothing about solicitor's letters and how can i answer for what my solicitor does? i could hear my ex in the background saying ' it's because she doesn't care about you. she's got a baby now...'. i'm so livid!!!
it is to be honest. i'm 32 weeks pregnant and have already lost my plug so am trying desperately not to go into labour too soon. this kinda thing doesn't help my cause at all.
NO! You are most certainly not wrong for being angry. But you must understand also that it is there job to check up on any accusations for the welfare of the child. They'll see when they do that you're a great mom, and that there's no need for the bs in the end. It must be a royal pain in the a$$ what you're going through, I'm sorry. Maybe one day your ex will give it up, and stop pursing custody. Why must men be such jerks?
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