preg 16yr old rape victim - SCARED AND CONFUSED! HELP PLEASE?

[Fallen1991Angel]

I am 16 years old, 17 this February.  I was raped on the beach at night on November 3, and I am pregnant as a result of it.  My family does not know yet (I want a good Christmas before I tell them...) Now when I am home alone when it is dark, I get these almost panic attacks when I am not in my room.  I have all the doors locked (checked once after I locked them), lights are on.  When I am in the open, I freak out.  My heart starts racing, my asthma acts up, and I start to shake.  It only stops when I go into my room and lock my door and double check my windows and draw the shades.  Is it typical to have new fears while pregnant, or is this something like PTSD?  I am scared, and lost...

[lmrsoldier]

I'm so sorry, but not trying to sound too corny, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and this may be his way of telling you to move on and truly deal with what happened to you. Keep your chin up, and know that you would've made a good mommy, just wanting to do the right thing.....good luck to you.

[Fallen1991Angel]

I went to the doctor earlier today, and he confirmed what i thought...  I sat there for near an hour crying my eyes out...

[lmrsoldier]

OMG!!! I'm sorry to hear that this ALL has happened to you!! Have you gone to the doc since you fell??? You need to do that right away, ER, something to get that baby and yourself checked out!!!

[Fallen1991Angel]

I've got bad news.  I fell down the stairs Sunday night and yesterday, I started bleeding and my stomach hurt like hell.  Then something came out...  I was so scared...  Now I am still bleeding, but its bleeding like a period...  I think i lost the baby...  I feel terrible.  My entire body feels like its been put through the ringer, im nauseous, and tired...  ugh.  not to mention the fact that i was just getting used to the idea of being pregnant, and i was loving it... now..

[diva_lorri]

i totally understand where you are coming from and I hope you can find the strength too inside you.
all the best and please keep us posted. merry  christmas xx

[Fallen1991Angel]

thanks.  i'm glad i found this site

[KellyA74]

You are an amazing person.....You will be a great Mom regardless of the situation......I give you so much credit and sound like you have a plan despite being very young...Lots of people have had babies early in life and have gone on to do great things....You will be one of those people.....Bless you....And you've come to the right website...tons of support and great info. when you get nervous, worried, etc.  I wish you nothing but the best from here on out.

[Fallen1991Angel]

*blushes*  thank you.  i know it is going to be ok.  wow, that's awesome!  congratulations.

i will.  

i'm going to talk to somebody about  it when i feel i can actually talk without freezing up.  i would never resent my child.  i love children too much, and the fact that this one is mine just strengthens that love.  i won't blame my child for something that is not their fault.  despite the circumstances, this child is a blessing.

thank you.

[Fallen1991Angel]

:)  thanks.  its hard for me to even say that word - rape - out loud.  i mean, it's a 4 letter word.  can it actually describe the horror of the act?  i don't think so.  idk, sometimes it just wierd...

[diva_lorri]

i commend you on your maturity and dignity.... i have faith in you that you will be A GREAT mother and will be just fine. all the best to you and your little one... enjoy xmas and i am very sure it will not be the last one you enjoy. you will just have more to enjoy and more to be thankful from every xmas here in. i too am pregnant and due the same time as you, end of july. my husband and I have been tc for a long time and we are so blessed it has now happened.
my best friend was raped a few years back and never told anyone but me. i wish now I had have urged her more to tell someone as she ended up committing suicide due to the guilt she didnt deserve to have follow her. i please, please, please beg of you to take some legal action or at least get some advice.
i believe that if you can get some closure on this aspect of your life your pregnancy will be much more enjoyable and your future wih your child will not have that cloud over your head. it would be awful to resent your child for something they had no say in.
all the best to you honey and ill keep you in my thoughts.
xx lorri

[lil_mama_1988]

hey i was 13 when i got raped i didnt get pregnant but i know how hard it can be to think about that guy coming back for you i am 19 now and proud to say a mother of a beautiful little girl she'll be 4 months on the 23rd i wanted to do a lot of things with my life and i am still pursuing my goals i want to be a nurse too and i plan on starting college in the spring as far as your stepdad, my father has the same temper and he actually hit me when i was 5 months pregnant i just look to god for support and i look at my daughter and thank god that i had her her father is a a**hole and i am no longer with him it is difficult being a single mother but as long as youhave the support from your family and friends its a lot easier. i live in another state from where her father is and he doesnt even call and ask about her but i dont mind though i dont need him cuz hey, who brought us into this world a woman so we know we have the strength to do it just relax and think about all the good times you will have when your baby is here i told my mother and she wasnt exactly happy but the next day, she was overwhelmed so good luck and you can message me anytime

[girl0319]

I am due March 19... I know how your feeling and it gets scarier the closer I get... But just the fact that you are putting all those questions in check shows that you are going to be a good mother... It'll be hard for both of us but all we can do is do our best right? I am having a girl and I am so happy! I am going to name her Ayla Rose... I really thought I was having a BOY! But it turns out I wasnt! Hopefully you dont jinx yourself LOL!

[Fallen1991Angel]

haha, yeah i know.  my friend and i were discussing it the night i found out, and the sabrina annabella one just stuck.  she's like, "sabrina annabella [my last name], that does have a nice ring to it" and i'm like, "yup, so that's definately my choice for a girl!"   as for a boy, i know for sure i want aidan in it...  not because the meaning, but just because i like it.  hahaha.  hey, those are pretty names!  xD  *baby crazy* now... haha

[irrelevance]

=)  that's a pretty name. I like a weird one, malekhi.... Hah. We won't use it, i'm more than sure... but i like the name ashlynn a bit, for a girl.. there's so many i do like that i have no idea...

[Fallen1991Angel]

holy cow! hahaha, well.  that's hilarious, ur choice of name...  because i had come up with either sean aidan or aidan james for a boy.  the name i chose for a girl is sabrina annabella.  hehehe.

meanings...  [from bored.com]
sean - gift from God
aidan - fire
james - supplanter (idk)

sabrina - legendary princess
annabella - beautiful grace

xD

[irrelevance]

And oh man, I really wanted to name my little boy Aiden Riley. I just love it.. But I found out a friend of my sister, has a nephew named Aiden Riley! poo... Other than that...  :-S I'm clueless.. Got some good time still to think about it though, luckily..

[irrelevance]

Welllll,
I'm hungry too man, Hahah. Bagel Bites for me!
I actually really really wanted a girl at first... Now I would like a girl, a lot.. but I don't care too much, long as it's healthy, you know? I've had this feeling the whole time it's going to be a boy, though. and I even dream it is.. I find out January 11th!!!! at next ultrasound... oh man, I'm so freaking excited! Hahah :D
One Thing I know I'm getting is a digital camera, go me. Tons and tons and tons of pics of my baby! and before that, some of my growing belly.

[njeosys]

I have two girls. Elaina Joi and Abigail Lynn. If we have another girl we are going to name her Zoe Elizabeth. If a boy Caiden Isaac.

[Fallen1991Angel]

i know what you mean, it does seem so surreal to me.  a lot lately.  sometimes i feel like i'm just floating around and i have this huge silly grin on my face because just knowing that there's a human life growing inside of me...  well, it's that pregnancy glow thing.  and it's so hard to think how much a little group of cells is going to grow inside of you and how that little bundle of cells is going to come out as your own flesh and blood, your own family...  oh, i cannot wait until i can feel it!  ::squeals in delight::  hahaha.  

do you have a hope as to what sex the baby will be?  i have this feeling that mine is going to be a girl...  have you thought of any names yet?

[Fallen1991Angel]

hahaha, grr, i hate these mood swings...  i was just working on my profile and started talking about how great my dog is and how much i love her, and now i've got tears!  ugh!  hahahahahaha.  i love that saying.  yeah, some of my presents i picked out and my mom wrapped, while a few i sorta asked my bro about...  then again, my mother can't keep her mouth shut:  she told me what my uncle got me (YAY!  iPod nano 8 gig!  EEK!!!) hahahahahahahahahaha.  soooooooooo hyper!  wow, i really do NOT like these hormones...  :(  haha.

meow.  <--dont ask...  

i'm hungry.  ooh, i just remembered i have vanilla wafers!  yumm...

[irrelevance]

Oh, and those feelings you're getting.. They are normal!! My pregnancy and situation aren't the same as yours at all, but I even felt [and sometimes still feel] that way. But now it's been almost 4 months, and I'm more used to the idea. I can still stress out and feel overwhelmed, but I know it's going to happen, and no matter, I still love this baby more than anything. Although sometimes it still feels kind of surreal to me. Almost like, hard to beleive. "Huh, I'm actually really pregnant?... There's a baby in there? A little human life?!" hehe, but at the same time... Every ONCE in a while, I feel a little tensing, and then this tiniest little wiggle in my belly and it puts a huge grin on my face. You'll start to be able to enjoy it soon, too. hopefully. :)

[irrelevance]

Sure !  It's good maybe you feel a little lighter-hearted, perhaps because now you know you're not alone! like i said, we're ALL here for you. (:

And that saying is hillarious. :P
And yes, only you know what's best when it comes to how you want this to turn out in terms of telling your mom now; or telling her after Christmas. I understand what you mean.. If you feel more comfortable in waiting, like she said, it's only 3 days away! and ohh, naughty! snooping!! I know a few things I'm getting too, but cause my momma told me. xD

[Fallen1991Angel]

yeah, and i cant wait!  haha, i already know some of the things i'm getting!  lol, *looks innocent* -snooping?  who said anything about snooping? - hahahaha.  xD  

and as for the i know what is best?  idk about that sometimes.  i wish i did know all the time.  but then when would i learn, right?  idk, but now i'm feeling really really really hyper and silly and random... hahaha, is random even a mood?  lol

[njeosys]

You're entitled to that! IT's only a few more days until Christmas.  Not like it's months or weeks away! You know what is best.