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pregnant and my In laws hate me
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pregnant and my In laws hate me

Me and my husband are from different religion. He's muslim and i believe in Sikhism (not many people know about this religion). We have been married for almost 2 years now and  i didnt convert to islam when we got married. We lived with his parents for six months and now we have our own place. I am 18 weeks pregnant. My In laws have been pressuring me to convert to islam for two years now. I have tried when we were living with his parents and didnt like the way everyone was treating me. My husband has no problem with me not converting or anything. The only problem is we fight because of them as they would not stop interfering in our life and will yell at my husband every single day about me not converting and how it is such a bad thing in their religion and society. What should I do, with me being pregnant and stressing about it. My husband wont do anything..He's like one day they will understand. But it's been two years. We haven't really enjoyed our first two years of marriage because of the pressure and now I dont want my baby to go through the same thing when he is born. We decided that we will teach both of our religions. But I know his parents would step in again as they have been doing this with us. what should I do - should i convert even if I dont want to. OR should I let it the way it is, but its ruining my life and will ruin my baby's life too.
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Avatar_f_tn
You and your husband need to create boundaries for your inlaws and don't let them cross that line. Make sure that they know about what you will and will not accept from them and hold strong to it.
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1640871_tn?1321677346
Islam isn't about force. No one should be forced into Islam at all. However, in saying this, I think your husband should have mentioned that it is expected that the wife of a muslim will convert at some time. But in her own time. The children will naturally be muslim when they are born. And should follow the fathers religion. It is surprising to me that your parents are ok with this marriage to, as there has always been some.. errr friction between both of those religions. In saying all this, I wish you all the happiness and luck.
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287246_tn?1318573663
Being from 2 different religions is tough, period.  I couldn't marry someone that didn't have the same beliefs as me...because of my kids.  It's really important to me.  Many people don't think it's a big deal but boy once kids are in the mix, it just changes things.  I don't even think many parents realize that until it comes time to start teaching the kids about religion.  That being said, your inlaws will need to butt out and your husband is going to have to tell them that.  If he doesn't, then you need to.  My inlaws are a bit pushy as well...not about this as this is not an issue for us, but about other things.  I finally had enough and wrote my MIL a long letter.  I nicely but firmly said that she could either respect my wishes as a mother, or she could not be a part of my children's lives.  It was her choice.  When she wants to see my kids or whatever, my husband directs her to me.  He doesn't want any involvement in it.  Good luck!
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You and your husband need to create boundaries for your inlaws and don't let them cross that line. Make sure that they know about what you will and will not accept from them and hold strong to it.
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1652107_tn?1301897940
wwl in this situation me and u couldnt b any different! btw my name was tanya too b4 i changed it after marriage. my hubby is muslim as wel and i was an aussie christian bread grl. i converted 3yrs b4 i met my hubby wen i was 15, and got married 2 him wen i was 18yrs (by choice) we met n after 2weeks of knowin each other we got married. anyways im a mother of 1 n another one on the way (1st baby 1yrs old, n da 1 on da way is 9weeks almost). my inlaws howeva (hubby's sister) , has always tryed to control everything in my pregnancy and birth. when i gave birth 2 my son i held him 4 less than 5 mins n she hogged him after dat for like 15mins!! gr8 ay >:( anyways in da end she kept comparing me 2 her sons new chillian wife and got jealous told my hubby im a b*tch n havent spoke 4 months now. al i can say is being muslim is da best thing ive eva done and will eva do every 1 chooses there own way of lyf but 2 me if i died ryt now id b happy thats how my im committed 2 my religion. anyways keep me posted ill giv u advice on wateva u need :)
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1640871_tn?1321677346
I love how you are committed to our religion Pearl. I have lost the path over the years. Like you I am Aussie. My eldest daughter is also a practising Muslim and has been married awhile now.
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1412924_tn?1305164805
Thank you all for the great advice. I hope everything gets ok with me. With his family, its more like either i convert and listen to whatever they say or else my husband should leave me. Well m pregnant and they are not happy at all and they still want my husband to leave me. I am just hoping for the best!! thanks ladies..
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1652107_tn?1301897940
no worries anytime :)
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Avatar_m_tn
i need help im a white english man and convert to sikh my wife is english sikh indian we have a baby who is one years old i married for 2 years my wife family hate me as im white keep calling police telling lies i love my wife too much 10 years i know her she hides me b4 i meet them even when i meet them they hate me they brain wash her to leve me how can i get her back do i run away with her i not see my daughter or wife now for 12 weeks they keep her in there home so she cant talk to me trying to put court orders on me i put my heart and soul in to our marrige i give her a nice home buy her ever think 4 them both im so unhappy with out my wife i fear my inlaws my beat her to please can some one help me ***@****  thanks i pray she come home soon
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Avatar_m_tn
A Muslim professor told us that Mohammed is believed to have had at least one wife who did not convert, and that it was perfectly acceptable for Muslims to marry Christian or Jewish women (he didn't discuss Sikhism directly). Most Muslims claim they do not have a violent history of repressing cultural minorities (this is not the same history usually taught in the West). Just some food for thought about the theology your husband's parents say they follow.

I come from a family with one parent who is devoutly religious and one who is not. It is always difficult, and yes, sometimes the in-laws have tried to interfere. That always makes it worse, no matter what religion you come from.

You and your husband need to set some clear boundaries about this. Perhaps it is time to remind them that this issue is between you and your God, and no one else.
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Avatar_f_tn
Well the above post...muhammad never married any non muslim woman but yes its allowed in islam to marry a woman who is not a muslm but believes in previous Holy books like bible which came before Quran..
And as for the pushy ilaws..well thid wud be ghere even if u wud converted to muslim..asian families have the habbit of interfering..being a muslim i wud suggest u to dead our religion n do wat ur heart says.as our relohipn does not
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Avatar_f_tn
Religion does not allow conversion forcefully..u r pregnant.all u need to do is to ralax..just tell ur husband to keep his family fights out of ur house as its bad for ur condition n baby's health. God bless u
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Avatar_f_tn
Read our religion* sorry abt the typo :)
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