Aa
really frustrated with boyfriend...vent!
So I just need to get a few thungs off my chest so that Its not taken out on my boyfriend...I'm 11+2. I find it really difficult to sleep as it is and when I do fall asleep I'm woken up everynight by his loud coughing...no, hes not sick, he smokes. And I know the coughing is from him smoking because hes quit before and it stopped and we were both able to sleep through the night. My thoughts on this...when the baby gets here his hacking is just going to wake it up. And I want my baby to be able to sleep well as well as me being able to rest. I know he can't help the coughing but I would appreciate it if he would stop smoking before the baby comes. For his sake and the babys. Another thing, his friend is a truck driver and everytime they come into town the drink and smoke HEAVILY and his friend stays the night here. Before it didn't bother me so much, but the smell of the smoke and liquor makes me throw up. So if I'm not in the bathroom already then I'm hiding in the bedroom...and they even smoke outside...its the heavy smell that's on their clothes. I tried talking to spencer about it...to tell him how I feel, all I said was maybe they could put some cologne on to cover it up so I don't feel as sick and he just flips out on me. Says I'm being a b**** and makes me out to be the bad guy. I don't get it! I say it calmly, I'm not being demanding, all I did was make a suggestion. I just feel like hes too selfish to realize what I'm put through.
aw, :( my boyfriend use to smoke in front of me.. and honestly.. i'd let him because i missed the closeness we had, lol.. smoking made me sick too, which was why quitting smoking cigs was so easy.. weed was a lot harder.. why does he smoke in front of you? have you talked to him about it?
At least you guys have men that are respectful about it and go outside to smoke... My boyfriend smokes weed AND cigarettes right in front of me all the time, when he knows it was really hard for me to quit smoking weed, and cigarettes make me nauseous now. Smoking is a hard habit to break, but at least your men avoid smoking around you. I don't even get that much. Guess I picked a winner huh...
I'm hoping he will man up. I'm sick of being on the relationship roller coaster. I know its not healthy and I just want stability. That's it. Is it too much to ask? We've had normal arguements before so I know we are capable of getting a long and not fighting.
i totally know where you're coming from.. sometimes with my man, it's just not worth the argument... they think their right, when we KNOW we're the ones who are right. but i think for the men.. pregnancy just isn't real for them.. they can say that they love their kid so much.. but i don't think it even comes close to the love we have for our children, because the baby is growing inside of us.. at least during pregnancy anyway. i don't think it becomes really real for them until they can feel the babe kick or their holding their son or daughter in their arms..
but from an outsiders point of view.. it honestly doesn't seem like it's worth it. but saying that.. i also know that you're angry & there are always more then one side to a story... and you're hurt now, but things could get better.. or maybe it's just been a rough couple days.. i've been in a relationship where it's been off and on.. actually ever relationship i've been in has been like that, EXCEPT for my current baby daddy.. i honestly thought i was only capable of having those kinds of relationships.. but that isn't the case now... to me, it doesn't seem healthy.. especially if you're bringing a baby into the world.. you don't want to be fighting all the time.. or who knows, maybe having the babe in his arms, he'll change.. you never know.
with the weed thing with my man.. i'm just going to stuck it out until my babe is born.. and if it stays the same (which i don't think it will) i'll move out. and if he still doesn't care.. it's obvious we're done. but like i said.. i don't think that will happen. i know my man loves our child so much.. it just isn't as real for him yet.. he can't feel her yet.. and we don't even have a bedroom for her yet or really any baby stuff.. i think i have 20 sleepers and thats it... we can't do much until our lease it up at the end of april and i'm due at the first of may.. so i know it will take time.. and i love him, so i will stick it out.
it's not cool that he's threatened to kick you out.. while you were pregnant? the next time he does it.. just pack your sh!t and go to your parents or a friends for a couple days... i bet he'll be begging for you back. he takes advantage of you because you always come back. and he doesn't think you're strong enough to leave him.. and you shouldn't have to go through it. i know it's so hard to get out of those kinds of relationships.. but now theirs a baby in the picture.. you just gotta ask yourself if it's worth it, in the end. do you think he'll change and man up?
but from an outsiders point of view.. it honestly doesn't seem like it's worth it. but saying that.. i also know that you're angry & there are always more then one side to a story... and you're hurt now, but things could get better.. or maybe it's just been a rough couple days.. i've been in a relationship where it's been off and on.. actually ever relationship i've been in has been like that, EXCEPT for my current baby daddy.. i honestly thought i was only capable of having those kinds of relationships.. but that isn't the case now... to me, it doesn't seem healthy.. especially if you're bringing a baby into the world.. you don't want to be fighting all the time.. or who knows, maybe having the babe in his arms, he'll change.. you never know.
with the weed thing with my man.. i'm just going to stuck it out until my babe is born.. and if it stays the same (which i don't think it will) i'll move out. and if he still doesn't care.. it's obvious we're done. but like i said.. i don't think that will happen. i know my man loves our child so much.. it just isn't as real for him yet.. he can't feel her yet.. and we don't even have a bedroom for her yet or really any baby stuff.. i think i have 20 sleepers and thats it... we can't do much until our lease it up at the end of april and i'm due at the first of may.. so i know it will take time.. and i love him, so i will stick it out.
it's not cool that he's threatened to kick you out.. while you were pregnant? the next time he does it.. just pack your sh!t and go to your parents or a friends for a couple days... i bet he'll be begging for you back. he takes advantage of you because you always come back. and he doesn't think you're strong enough to leave him.. and you shouldn't have to go through it. i know it's so hard to get out of those kinds of relationships.. but now theirs a baby in the picture.. you just gotta ask yourself if it's worth it, in the end. do you think he'll change and man up?
My gosh I couldn't finish what I was trying tobsau. My phones being funny. The baby wasn't planned...and we are taking responsibility. We both work a lot. But hes just an *******. Its his way or the highway. I swear I'm just sick of him. Hes tried kicking me out multiple times and I'm just like wtf? This is stupid and I shouldn't have.to go through this. I just want to be happy and it seems impossible as long as I'm with him. Hes immature and he thinks he can control me. And I'm not like that. Ill stand up for myself if I have to. I know what its like to be respected and treated right.
Yeah definitley. I mean his problem isn't weed...its cigarettes. Hes in the military so he can't smoke that stuff. But hes just so insensitve to everything. I feel like he doesn't understand I have a human being growing inside of me that give me these hormones that make me moody and very emotional. I love spencer very much. We have been together for almost 2 years...we were always on and off because he would talk to other girls and the trust between us went out the door. The baby wasn't planned at all..actions.carpce so
oh my god girrrl. this is sort of identical to my problem... here goes.
i love my boyfriend to death.. i never thought i'd end up with him - i never even wanted too! he was annoying, and i wasn't interested. he was just nice to look at... and we just start hooking up & he's completely different from any other guy i've ever been interested in... after a couple weeks.. i knew i was in love. he's amazing & perfect.. and doesn't bullsh!t me. he's my complete opposite and i know he's the one.. we moved in together after 3 months of being together & we NEVER fight. maybe 1 big fight every couple of months and that's about it.. we're perfect for each other... i don't even know how else to describe it.. nothing could go wrong. and when i got pregnant, both our families were SO happy because we were having a baby together..
before pregnancy... me and my boyfriend were on and off again smokers.. we were totally addicted to dope.. we would never take rent money or grocery money away for dope.. it was just something we loved to do together.. it made food, sex, movies, everything so much better. i didn't want to get pregnant, it was not the plan at all... i didn't want to be responsible & i definitely didn't want to quite dope..
september was coming around & i was starting school again & i wanted to quit for a while and save up some money.. we really wanted to get engaged and he wanted to buy me a ring.. we had it picked out and everything. so in september we were gonna quit for a bit.. but september 9th, i found out i was pregnant.. i was actually feeling sick ALL day and my boyfriend had his friend over & they were smoking up.. and i took one drag and ran to the bathroom, dry heaving and choking.. i knew something was wrong & he bought me a test.. i quit that night. i quit everything. i was perfect & even ate right. my boyfriend cut back SOSOO much, way more then i ever expected or needed him too. i think we spent maybe $50 a week on dope.. and he cut back to $10 every 3 weeks. everything was going perfect.. his friends stopped smoking in the apartment. my parents stopped smoking.
i'm 21 weeks now.. and i feel like it was a dream. he loves his dope.. and something i think he loves it more then he loves me & our child.. i lie to everything and tell them he's cut back way more then he has.. he works full time and SUPPORTS me. i have no job and no income.. and he pays for everything.. and we live really good. and my father smoked pot as i grew up.. (obviously i didn't know about it.. and he would smoke half a joint a night to just relax) and sometimes i wish my boyfriend would be a little bit more like that.. his friends are over constantly.. and i lock myself in the bedroom because i don't feel social and i honestly don't care.. i'm not like that anymore. my man has a lot of problems.. he's got adhd and depression and sometimes i think bipolar.. i knew weed helps him a lot, if not just to calm down & relax.. and he deserves it after a stressful day at work.. but he just takes it to the next level.. he doesn't smoke around me.. and his friends don't smoke around me.. they are all very respectful.. but his friends are alwaysssss over and alwayssss spending the night so they can smoke longer & game harder. UGH! i hate it!
sorry about the long rant.. i guess it was my way to vent too :/ but girl, i know what you're going through & it really isn't easy.. sometimes i think i should just shut up and let them be.. and others, i just want to scream and tell him he's a selfish pri(k. i'm probably the worst person for advice, because i obviously can't fix my own problem.. but i'm so hear for a vent if you need it.. i need to vent too, lol.
i love my boyfriend to death.. i never thought i'd end up with him - i never even wanted too! he was annoying, and i wasn't interested. he was just nice to look at... and we just start hooking up & he's completely different from any other guy i've ever been interested in... after a couple weeks.. i knew i was in love. he's amazing & perfect.. and doesn't bullsh!t me. he's my complete opposite and i know he's the one.. we moved in together after 3 months of being together & we NEVER fight. maybe 1 big fight every couple of months and that's about it.. we're perfect for each other... i don't even know how else to describe it.. nothing could go wrong. and when i got pregnant, both our families were SO happy because we were having a baby together..
before pregnancy... me and my boyfriend were on and off again smokers.. we were totally addicted to dope.. we would never take rent money or grocery money away for dope.. it was just something we loved to do together.. it made food, sex, movies, everything so much better. i didn't want to get pregnant, it was not the plan at all... i didn't want to be responsible & i definitely didn't want to quite dope..
september was coming around & i was starting school again & i wanted to quit for a while and save up some money.. we really wanted to get engaged and he wanted to buy me a ring.. we had it picked out and everything. so in september we were gonna quit for a bit.. but september 9th, i found out i was pregnant.. i was actually feeling sick ALL day and my boyfriend had his friend over & they were smoking up.. and i took one drag and ran to the bathroom, dry heaving and choking.. i knew something was wrong & he bought me a test.. i quit that night. i quit everything. i was perfect & even ate right. my boyfriend cut back SOSOO much, way more then i ever expected or needed him too. i think we spent maybe $50 a week on dope.. and he cut back to $10 every 3 weeks. everything was going perfect.. his friends stopped smoking in the apartment. my parents stopped smoking.
i'm 21 weeks now.. and i feel like it was a dream. he loves his dope.. and something i think he loves it more then he loves me & our child.. i lie to everything and tell them he's cut back way more then he has.. he works full time and SUPPORTS me. i have no job and no income.. and he pays for everything.. and we live really good. and my father smoked pot as i grew up.. (obviously i didn't know about it.. and he would smoke half a joint a night to just relax) and sometimes i wish my boyfriend would be a little bit more like that.. his friends are over constantly.. and i lock myself in the bedroom because i don't feel social and i honestly don't care.. i'm not like that anymore. my man has a lot of problems.. he's got adhd and depression and sometimes i think bipolar.. i knew weed helps him a lot, if not just to calm down & relax.. and he deserves it after a stressful day at work.. but he just takes it to the next level.. he doesn't smoke around me.. and his friends don't smoke around me.. they are all very respectful.. but his friends are alwaysssss over and alwayssss spending the night so they can smoke longer & game harder. UGH! i hate it!
sorry about the long rant.. i guess it was my way to vent too :/ but girl, i know what you're going through & it really isn't easy.. sometimes i think i should just shut up and let them be.. and others, i just want to scream and tell him he's a selfish pri(k. i'm probably the worst person for advice, because i obviously can't fix my own problem.. but i'm so hear for a vent if you need it.. i need to vent too, lol.
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