sick of the depression

[babymama1985]

So ive posted on here before with the problems of my babydaddy but it seems to just get worse. It hurts still being in love with the man but now hes dating the woman he cheated on me with. Im 23 weeks for it seems that no matter what i do...how happy i try to be its just one blpw after another. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression a long time ago and was on prozac before i got pregnant but went off them abruptly when i found out i was pregnant. Hes pretty much nonexistent but the times we would talk or when he would come to the 3appts that he was actually at i would ask if he was seeing, dating, talking to anyone else .....it was always no no no....so i foubd he has been lying to me for who knows how long and i am just so torn up about how he doesn't care how he efdects me and in turn effects the baby. I dont understand men like that. How can u say u care about your son when all u do is prove everyday that

[babymama1985]

Mommyanddaddyd, i have struggled with depression for years...def not justwith my pregnancy. I havea journal that i write in every night. I have started reading the bible every.night to myself and the baby and i surround myself with the few ppl i trust. I want to b happy. Im going to start seeing a counselor this week. Im def active about these thoughts and feelings. Im also in nursing school full time to make sure i can provide the nest for.my child which means me having a job i can rely on and a paycheck that will support us and a good schedule. I just wanna make sure i can do it on my own and not relying on the child support. When it comes down to it i know i will pit my feelings aside and do the right thing. No matter if i hate him or not. I look forward to him getting here and it makes me smile every time i feel him move and my heart swell bigger when i see the sonogram. Ian (my baby) is really the only thing thats truly happy in my life.

[babymama1985]

Oh im def not talking to him. I wrote him a letter saying i would contact him when i go into labor. My duty is done. Imgoing to take the next17 weeks to heal and prepare emotionally. Annie, he did makes promises...made them.even after we broke up. He told me that the baby and i could live with him.eben.if we weren't together and he would take care care of us and he also said he would never abandon me or the baby .....said that before and after we broke up. He wanted me to get pregnant. He was a happy supplier of his sperm but now when it comes to staying by the person.he actively got pregnant he has left when it got real because like his own father he leaves when it gets hard and jumps into something new tp forget. I will get over this but it takes time. There are lots of broken promises and the fact that he cheated on me. Oh and that he has now chosen this woman over us at this point. Oh yes annie promises were made....i mean the man asked me to marry him and then took it back 2to weeks later because he didnt trust that thia was his child and i wouldnt marry someone who disnt trust me.that just leads to failure. He can say what he wants and make me look like rhe bad guy but he ia running scared. Selfish and scared. But like i told him last time i spoke to him (prob wasnt nice but i was angry) i already got the best part of him so she can have the rest

[mommyanddaddyd]

Depression is a state of mind. Now I'm saying this knowing its hard to do because I have suffered with it as well but you have to make yourself happy. You have to convince yourself, force yourself, motivate yourself into being happy. I know they say its a chemical in your brain that causes depression but I also know we don't give our brains enough credit. Its a lot easier to control than we think. You just have to sit and focus on that. When you start to think about him and how bad the situation is stop yourself and think about all the good. If there is no good in that moment think about staying positive, staying happy, staying beautiful, not letting anything take you down. Think about conquering the bad. Pep talk yourself. I truly hate this about our world but there is no one out there that we can count on to make us happy. We must rely on ourselves. Journal your feelings and thoughts and at the end of the journal leave a happy thought. A big thing that's saved me from shutting down completely is meditating. It sounds crazy but I'm telling you after getting control over my mind, which took about a month, its the best thing I could've done for myself. Try some counting techniques. When laying in bed and so mad and overwhelmed and not able to sleep; stop and focus on counting. When you start to think about the negative go back to counting. I count down from 100. I'll restart when my mind starts to think about the negative. I seriously would count down like twenty times and have to restart so many times but guess what I can confidently say that I get to maybe 90 now when I countdown from 100 and I'm already feel myself falling asleep or I'm already asleep. Some nights I'll closer my eyes and put myself in a happy place. Right now its me decorating my babies room. Before it was things as silly as laying amongst the clouds. it doesn't hurt to try... :) always remember This you shall pass. Next year at this time it will just be a memory you won't even think about.

[Raevicious]

Court* you don't have to put up with his bull. You are allowed to stop talking to him

[Raevicious]

You're not the only one having a kid without the father trying to be in the picture. I, for one, am right there with you, but at least yours still talks to you. It's your choice to keep talking to him, so you're continuing to put yourself through this. Once my baby daddy said he wanted a blood test, that's when I decided the only time in going to contact him is in coyrt

[mommyanddaddyd]

My opinion:  A man does not deserve to be in the babies life if he does not go to some of the appointments (if possible) and is not going to be there to prepare for the baby! It takes so much to prepare for the baby emotionally and physically. If a man can't do those simple tasks then I have no faith in him being able to care for a child.

Keep your head up. I'm in the same boat. just gotta stay strong. Its so hard to get out of bed every day and live but guess what now you have a reason. A baby. The one thing that will never break you're heart or leave you for someone else. How exciting! We are lucky to have this blessing, the chance, this opportunity. Forget him. He don't deserve you or the baby.

[Roo93]

Im 6 weeks today, we've known for a week now & when we did find out he was the HAPPIEST, I mean he was STOKED!! Now, I wonder.. Cause he dont wanna help do anything, he comes home, ******* & moans then sleeps, I dnt kno how to make this right HELP!!!

[AnnieBrooke]

You responded as if I was saying what the guy is doing is OK.  It sounds like what he is doing is extremely unkind and ungracious to you.  But he doesn't owe you a relationship, even though you are pregnant, unless he begged you to get pregnant and made promises as to what was going to happen if you did.  He owes the BABY a relationship (obviously time will tell if he is going to step up there).  The only reason I say it is because you sound indignant and surprised.  Don't waste the energy on outrage ... he's acting like a jerk because he's a jerk.  The advent of a baby isn't going to make him less of a jerk.  Get your legal ducks in a row and be ready to file for child support.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[babymama1985]

Thats def something i think about. I see all the articles on hpw important a father is and i wanna kick my own self because of the anger i feel at this point in time. I wish i didnt feel it...no.matter what anyone thinks i do not enjoy feeling this way. He is dating/seeing/screwing someone else...whatever u wanna call it and yeah that hurts...especially when it was not even a day after a fight. I realize its a moot point but no one gets over hurt in a night. I do want him to have a relationship with his father. And a good relationship with me and his other family members on that side of his family....this is all how i feel now....but i still have 17the weeks to go. I know ny then things will be different because time truly does heal. But unfortunately this protective part of me doesn't knoe if he will take care of him.and put him.first in his life like he should and then i also have the other factor of the gf...and i know from first hand experience that the other woman will stick her nose into this and that i dont know how to handle. Personally i think this is mine nd his child and the decisions should be left to us. But he may not even step up or may not even be with her. Who knows? I know its horrible to say this but i dont want to share my son...especially not with his new gf that he cheated on me with....i will get past it...i always do. But as of right now thats how i feel lol. My son will have a father whether that is my ex or my own father or some othee man i meet way down the rd. Hes done a few things here amd there and those are the things that show me he cares at least a little. I def dont want to say hes a deadbeat until.i knkw for sure. And once i know then i can be like ok we will be ok with or without him no matter what. I guess i juat need time to heal and ppl are looking at me like ugh she is not even giving him.a chance...but when a man cheats on his pregnant gf its nlt a good feeling lol. Hopefully he will do the right thing .....whatever that is now.

[MamaBear0612]

I know this is hard, but focus on your baby and nothing else. You can't force a guy to be a man or to be a father. In some ways it does sound like he's shown some interest, going to at least some appointments with you. A lot of married women can't get their husbands to do that...right or wrong, men handle pregnancy differently than women do. You two are complicated and he's in another relationship, so it's only going to hurt you if you keep thinking he's going to be dad-of-the-year or act like you're his woman before the baby's born.

Afterwards, sometimes things do change, but I wonder this...if you do make it really hard for him to be a father after the baby's born, will you then complain that he's being a horrible man/deadbeat dad? I'm not saying put yourself out there, as long as you don't shut the door on him. I'm becoming a single mom myself, and I'm not with my baby's father, and yes, we've had our issues but I try to always think about what's best for my baby. If her father is willing and ready to be a really great dad, it doesn't matter if he's with me or what we've been through on a romantic level. For her sake, I've got to be the best mom I can be by allowing her to form a relationship with her father. I grew up with a really great dad, and if I can give that to her, it doesn't matter if he and I are together. I told him once I could find another boyfriend or even a husband, he is her father and that's not something I can replace.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[momabear86]

Then leave him at that. Everything you do now should be for you and the baby and no one else.

[babymama1985]

I realize that's life. I havr been thru other unfair things but no one will tell me that what he is doing is the right thing to do. Sorey but i just dont think thats true. I realize i cant control him and that's perfectly fine but i dont havr to give him anything either. What goes around comes around. No one gets away with anything like that...cuz look u have unprotected sex and the consequences are a baby. So u act like an uncaring selfish butt and there's things that happen in turn with that. I dont know the actions i should take after thw baby is born but i did leave the door open by telling him that he knows when the due date is and my number. Im sure by that time i will let him.know when i go to the hospital but as of right now (seeing as this just happened last week witg him ) i cant see anything good about him.or even give him.the benefit of the doubt at this point. Never said that couldnt change tho. Alot things can change by then and im only talking about myself in that too. Hes a hopeless cause to me.

[momabear86]

You keep going on how unfair it is well that's life! We carry, care and go through pain of labour. If you didn't want to do that then don't get pregnant! The fact is he may not care and may not be a dad but like others have said he won't be the first and Defo not the last. Give him the opportunity to be there but for all intensive purposes your on your own.

[babymama1985]

Oh and ladies dont defend him...do i mention.the fact thay we got into a fight and the next night he went out and found this ho at a bar? Our relationship is over...and it pisses me off that i get treated like i am.not carrying his child inside me? How can the mom.not be important?  We bring this life in the world while the father sits back and gets to just reap rewards. And honestly annie...um.the men find appts boring? So what?  It is such a little thing compared to what we do as in pushing a baby out a hole the size of a grape. But yes lets just make excuses foe the men because pregnancy is so hard for them. Now u sound like thw father....its all on me and he has no contributions. Well i will tell u this in a perfect world i would ignore his dumb self but when u havw a child with someone u can nevee forget them. U will always have a connection. Oh and did i forget to mention that he doesn't think this is his kid or hes not sure it is. Even tho i was livibg at his house and on the phone with him 24/7. And never once even thought about cheating on him. I have to be accountable for my own.actions but no one is going to tell me that how he has actes and is acting is ok in any way shape or form.

[babymama1985]

Maybe he didnt wanna upset me but maybe hes just a lying sack of poo. Theres all sorts of other things thay have happened. The fact that he says hr loves me but just cant be with me right now...but maybe in the future. I think the fact is that he kust wants to do what he wants at this point and doesnt wanna deal with the inconvenience of the pregnancy. I honestly dont see how anyone can say this is ok...donating sperm does a father make. Maybe he will step up but unfortunately i will not be rolling over and making it easy. He will have to makw the effort to call if he wants to see his son...je will havr to deal with supervised visits until i feel i can trust him.in anything. He has not shown any interest besides doing as little as he can and then turning around and saying he cares. Now im not trying to be mean but annie think of this. U just had your little boy and the father who has been nothing bit a piece of poo the entirw time and who as treated u as if u have done nothing important by creating this life thinks hes gonna come around and demand time with his son and oh yeah hes a newborn and he thinks hes gonna take him for the day when thats the time he is supposed to be havong to bond with his primary care giver oh amd to top it all off hes going to have ur baby around the girl he screwed around on u with...and playing house with ur little one....now tell me how you would react...true i still love him but i could get over that. Its the lying and deceit that really burns me. And just xuz youre not witj someone does not mean u should treat them like that. Especially when u still talk to tjat person and she is the mother of your child. I just think this situation was complicated enough witjout adding another person into it. It was going to be hard enough to let my baby go for a couple hours with just him.but now im gonna have to deal with some woman.thinking shes gonna play mommy with my baby.