Aa
to anyone who's unsure
Should I go naturally? Should I get an epidural?
I see these questions a lot! I gotta say, know your options. Even if you want to go natural, know the risks and benefits of an epidural. But don't go in saying "Well I think I'll try natural but if it gets too hard there's always an epidural". That's like walking up the isle on your wedding day and saying "Well I think we'll try to stay together, but if things get hard, there's always divorce"! (Courtesy of my birthing class instructor)
That said, if you're going into labor knowing you want an epidural, that doesn't make your a bad person or a failure. The best birth is the one where your wishes are met! Where you have a healthy baby and you're a healthy happy mama.
I'm just trying to help some women make up their minds. I do get tired of seeing and hearing "I'll try". There may be circumstances where you need assistance in one form or another, but walk in saying "I'm going natural unless I absolutely need intervention" not "I'm going to try to go natural but we'll see". It's a subtle difference, but if having a natural birth is important to you, it makes all the difference in the world!
I see these questions a lot! I gotta say, know your options. Even if you want to go natural, know the risks and benefits of an epidural. But don't go in saying "Well I think I'll try natural but if it gets too hard there's always an epidural". That's like walking up the isle on your wedding day and saying "Well I think we'll try to stay together, but if things get hard, there's always divorce"! (Courtesy of my birthing class instructor)
That said, if you're going into labor knowing you want an epidural, that doesn't make your a bad person or a failure. The best birth is the one where your wishes are met! Where you have a healthy baby and you're a healthy happy mama.
I'm just trying to help some women make up their minds. I do get tired of seeing and hearing "I'll try". There may be circumstances where you need assistance in one form or another, but walk in saying "I'm going natural unless I absolutely need intervention" not "I'm going to try to go natural but we'll see". It's a subtle difference, but if having a natural birth is important to you, it makes all the difference in the world!
That's a good attitude to have victoriamichelle! Learn coping mechanisms for the wait so you don't go crazy before you get there. :)
and to correct my previous response I meant "my midwife" not mangy midwife!
@Mreeah Don't psyche yourself out too much. Your body was built to do this! You're gonna do great. :)
and to correct my previous response I meant "my midwife" not mangy midwife!
@Mreeah Don't psyche yourself out too much. Your body was built to do this! You're gonna do great. :)
I want an epidural.. but im also gonna wait until i honestly think i need it.. And if it gets to the point that its to late well then good for me im going all natural. But i already plan on getting it.
I have so much trouble with this! But your absoulutly right
People are more accepting of "failure?" (Idk if thats the right word) if they get their brain inthe "ill try" mode. While yes it is good to try you have to mentally prepare yourself and encourage as much as possible!
Reminding yourself that we are all able to go through with it!
The "i can" attitude really works .
If you pshyche yourself out too much (which is what im doing) youll feel more of the pain. We have to not forget to go in to labor feeling strong& knowing how youll feel afferwards.
Thanks doulamommy for reminding me about this (: i was starting to lean a lot more towarda epidural but this reminded me that i am capable.
People are more accepting of "failure?" (Idk if thats the right word) if they get their brain inthe "ill try" mode. While yes it is good to try you have to mentally prepare yourself and encourage as much as possible!
Reminding yourself that we are all able to go through with it!
The "i can" attitude really works .
If you pshyche yourself out too much (which is what im doing) youll feel more of the pain. We have to not forget to go in to labor feeling strong& knowing how youll feel afferwards.
Thanks doulamommy for reminding me about this (: i was starting to lean a lot more towarda epidural but this reminded me that i am capable.
@manarawrs
Mangy midwife said I had about a fifty-fifty chance of tearing again with this birth, but that she would NOT let me tear as badly. Perineal massage prior to labor, slow controlled pushing and perineal support during labor will all help tremendously!
@Zahra147 I'm glad you had a good experience with the epidural! My good friend had a similar situation. After almost thirty hours of labor (most doctors would have moved on to a c section long before) and almost five hours of pushing, her body was so exhausted her contractions weren't doing anything to move the baby down. Even though she'd wanted to go natural, it was one of the cases where an epidural was needed. She honestly believes she would have had to get an emergency c section (as in get knocked out with general anesthesia) had she not gotten her epidural. She was able to rest and deliver her baby within ten minutes of pushing.
I'm not anti epidural. In fact, I love that we have effective pain relief methods that women can choose! But if your goal is to go naturally, don't leave yourself a fallback UNLESS IT'S NECESSARY. I'm not saying be a martyr and don't get drugs even if you're completely exhausted and honestly can't do it anymore. I'm just saying, go in with an "I can" attitude rather than an "I'll try" one if that's what you're aiming for. :)
Mangy midwife said I had about a fifty-fifty chance of tearing again with this birth, but that she would NOT let me tear as badly. Perineal massage prior to labor, slow controlled pushing and perineal support during labor will all help tremendously!
@Zahra147 I'm glad you had a good experience with the epidural! My good friend had a similar situation. After almost thirty hours of labor (most doctors would have moved on to a c section long before) and almost five hours of pushing, her body was so exhausted her contractions weren't doing anything to move the baby down. Even though she'd wanted to go natural, it was one of the cases where an epidural was needed. She honestly believes she would have had to get an emergency c section (as in get knocked out with general anesthesia) had she not gotten her epidural. She was able to rest and deliver her baby within ten minutes of pushing.
I'm not anti epidural. In fact, I love that we have effective pain relief methods that women can choose! But if your goal is to go naturally, don't leave yourself a fallback UNLESS IT'S NECESSARY. I'm not saying be a martyr and don't get drugs even if you're completely exhausted and honestly can't do it anymore. I'm just saying, go in with an "I can" attitude rather than an "I'll try" one if that's what you're aiming for. :)
Tearing is horrible there's no way around that, but you can't let fear control you. I had a third degree tear that was the worst my midwife had ever seen (not her fault:her phone was not working for some reason and she walked in as my husband was cutting the umbilical cord. I was attended by an obgyn that I'd never met before and she didn't touch me or offer any perineal support).
Healing was painful and long. But I'm not afraid of tearing at all this time. Honestly, I didn't know I'd torn until I had delivered the placenta and was getting stitched up, even without an epidural. Don't let fear control you, ladies!
Healing was painful and long. But I'm not afraid of tearing at all this time. Honestly, I didn't know I'd torn until I had delivered the placenta and was getting stitched up, even without an epidural. Don't let fear control you, ladies!
I was going natural with my first but i couldn't handle the pain i told everyone i don't want the epidural and no one asked again but when it came to the point i was diying with every singl contractions my heart was beating so badly also my daughter was in danger so i screamed for it my husband asked me if i'm sure & doc & nurses and i said yes i don't care even if u cut me to stop the pain!!
It was a life safer however after few minuts the dic says i took too long and my daughter cant waite more so ware my buddy so i ended emergency c section , as long as i knoe my buddy now i'm going for epidural this time viganal or c section :)
It was a life safer however after few minuts the dic says i took too long and my daughter cant waite more so ware my buddy so i ended emergency c section , as long as i knoe my buddy now i'm going for epidural this time viganal or c section :)
I cud never have epidural... I did have pathadine with my first child i will probz do same with this one but epidural scares me as i was told it could paralyse you dont know how true that is but stuck in my head..
Epidural scares me but at the same time, going natural again scares me, my son gave me a huge tear, and i had one continuous stitch, it was painful and im scared to not enjoy the coming of my baby :( i have a backwards uterus which caused me to also have horrible back labor. Ugh both scare me. I have months to decide and nothing is helping the decision
After a failed epidural, ending in feeling every ounce of my 26 hour labor... Ill most definitely be going NATURAL(no pain meds) every future labor:)
I'm right there with you. My plan is natural. I've explained to my bf that he will not suggest pain meds and he will not let the nurses either. I know they're there and if I need them I will ask for them. But I've told him to first try the "just try and hold out 1 more hour" method first. I know the epidural can have benefits and I believe I know my body enough to know when that time will be. But I will not be going in thinking about trying I'm going in knowing I can go natural. Hopefully everyone respects my wishes. I know my bf will but I'm worried about rude nurses who think they know it all.
As Always a wonderful post from doulamommy! :-) Iwouldn't afraid of epidural bc I wont be able to be in squatting position to give birth. My first child was 8.6 via cesarean faoled progression. I am having a vbac as long as no complications. But I terrified of tearing! So I want to squat which cam increase my supossed small pelvis by 30%! I am only 4'10. And wo an epidural ill be able to feel to push so I wont over push and hopefully wont tear as bad. I toldt doctor and her nurse that no one is mention or ask me about an epidural period! If I want one ill ask! Otherwise dont bring it up lol
I couldn't agree more! It's so weird to me how my opinion about epidurals have always been the same.. Ever since I first understood what having babies was all about (probably around 11 or 12 years old.. I was the baby of my family so I never experienced my mom having babies) I always knew that I didn't like the idea of epidurals. I didn't like the fact that it's a huge needle that goes into your spine.. I didn't like the fact that it makes you numb and takes away the control you have of your legs and being able to feel appropriately for when you need to push, how hard, etc. I never liked any part of the idea of it!
Now that I'm pregnant with my first baby, my opinion is even more strong when it comes to epidurals. I completely get that there are points when it would be necessary, and that some women (I may end up being included in that) can't progress with the intense pain of labor.. Still my mindset is "I do NOT want an epidural unless it is medically necessary in order to safely have my baby.. And I will NOT let the nurses or anyone else tell me that I HAVE to get one without solid medical reason behind it."
Watching my sister have my niece 3 weeks ago made my mind up even more! This was her 5th child, and she has always opted for the epidural. Which is perfectly fine for her and her wishes. This was the first baby I ever got to actually be in the room for.. She was SO numb that she couldn't do a thing.. Not even wiggle her toes. When the doctor asked her to try to help scoot herself down on the bed a little bit when it was time to push, she couldn't move herself at all.. So they ended up having to literally grab her legs and pull her down the bed. The whole time while seeing this I was panicking inside about the fact that her epidural could be ripped out of her back, or it could do more serious damage to her. About 2 hours having the baby and having the epidural removed she was still so numb that when the nurses needed to help her move beds to transfer her to a postpartum room she couldn't help the nurses at all. She couldn't lift herself whatsoever. She ended up with a HUGE dark purple bruise on her back where the epidural was. Probably from when they pulled her down the bed at delivery time.. And she's had issues with her back hurting and spasming since then.
After seeing all of this, my mind was even more set on going natural. The whole thing terrified me, all over an epidural. I didn't like seeing it one bit, and I don't want that for myself or mine and my baby's birth experience. I pray I don't end up needing one, because my mind and heart are pretty set on not having one. Though I do understand that we can't control everything, and what's necessary comes before our wants with these things.
Now that I'm pregnant with my first baby, my opinion is even more strong when it comes to epidurals. I completely get that there are points when it would be necessary, and that some women (I may end up being included in that) can't progress with the intense pain of labor.. Still my mindset is "I do NOT want an epidural unless it is medically necessary in order to safely have my baby.. And I will NOT let the nurses or anyone else tell me that I HAVE to get one without solid medical reason behind it."
Watching my sister have my niece 3 weeks ago made my mind up even more! This was her 5th child, and she has always opted for the epidural. Which is perfectly fine for her and her wishes. This was the first baby I ever got to actually be in the room for.. She was SO numb that she couldn't do a thing.. Not even wiggle her toes. When the doctor asked her to try to help scoot herself down on the bed a little bit when it was time to push, she couldn't move herself at all.. So they ended up having to literally grab her legs and pull her down the bed. The whole time while seeing this I was panicking inside about the fact that her epidural could be ripped out of her back, or it could do more serious damage to her. About 2 hours having the baby and having the epidural removed she was still so numb that when the nurses needed to help her move beds to transfer her to a postpartum room she couldn't help the nurses at all. She couldn't lift herself whatsoever. She ended up with a HUGE dark purple bruise on her back where the epidural was. Probably from when they pulled her down the bed at delivery time.. And she's had issues with her back hurting and spasming since then.
After seeing all of this, my mind was even more set on going natural. The whole thing terrified me, all over an epidural. I didn't like seeing it one bit, and I don't want that for myself or mine and my baby's birth experience. I pray I don't end up needing one, because my mind and heart are pretty set on not having one. Though I do understand that we can't control everything, and what's necessary comes before our wants with these things.
@alexx1216
Check out my journals on my profile. I have one (I think my oldest journal) that talks about why labor pain is useful and good.
Check out my journals on my profile. I have one (I think my oldest journal) that talks about why labor pain is useful and good.
The marriage analogy my teacher used last night really hit home! My hubby and I agreed never to use the "D" word no matter how rough things get. Likewise, I don't allow the "E" word to be spoken in my presence while I'm in labor! I know it's there, so I can ask if it's needed for some reason. But bringing it up can wear down your confidence. I watched my sister crumble as my mom and her husband and nurse asked her every other contraction if she was sure she didn't want an epidural. It made me angry enough that when I was in labor less than two months later, I told my mom if I heard her use the "E" word at all that I'd kick her out!
I'm planning natural, I'm scared of the epidural. I know it will be painful, but it's not like I'm going to die lol the pain will definitely be worth it at then end.
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