trying to get pregnant

[jersgirl1234]

my husband and i have been trying to get pregnant for 9 months.  We have been seeing doctors and my husband had his first semen analysis about 2 mths ago he had good sperm count but his mobility is low.  He his seeing urologist as of now and I did my day 21 test and it came back good.  im worried that i cant get pregnant and wondering how long this might take, i know it varies but i would just like to hear sories about others. I am really stressing myself out over this everytime im around someone pregnant i get sad worried that i might never have one...im a wreak..

[cnhauk]

@lisa1905 I don't think she was telling her she may have cancer. I think she was trying to relate telling someone who DOES have cancer to just relax is as healing as telling someone who DOES have fertility issues that just relaxing will heal them. While it won't heal them or fix their problems, relaxing really can help.

@worththewait78 As I said before, I agree that if you DO have fertility issues, you will need to seek medical help. I think that the way you said it might scare and stress her more than you intended it to. 7 years trying to conceive is not the norm, and I am very sorry you had to go through that agonizing time. Encouraging her to be educated is good, but we don't want her more stressed about it. 95% of women are able to get pregnant within 2 years of trying. And for that unfortunate 5%, who you were among, they need medical intervention. If she's only 24 and only been trying for 9 months, that's really not long enough to say for sure that she has fertility issues. Telling someone who does have cancer to relax is actually beneficial to their recovery, as is telling someone with fertility problems (or someone who its just taking a bit longer to conceive than they thought) to relax. Stress is a very unhealthy thing for someone who isn't sick. And while it may not HEAL the problem, it can definitely help.
I am so sorry it took you 7 long LONG years to conceive, and sharing your story was brave, but try to be encouraging. As I said, 7 years is not the average length of time, and most times, it IS as simple as saying "stop trying and just relax". I'm sorry it wasn't for you, and I can't imagine what those 7 years were like for you, and I'm sorry if this is coming off as rude or anything-that is not my goal. I just want this poor girl to be encouraged that everything is alright and it'll happen soon, and she most likely won't take too much longer to conceive.

[lisa1905]

Well I think it is more naïve and irresponsible to tell someone that maybe u have a cancer, then u diffidently need a fertility doctor just because I could not get pregnant for 7 years, but  however glad for u that u got ur bfp, but please don’t try tell others that they  are sick.u relax 2

[cnhauk]

I agree that If you have fertility issues, they need to be addressed. But telling someone who has only been trying 9 months (and trust me, I know how exhausting and stressful it is) they might have fertility issues might be adding more unnecessary stress on them. Being aware and educated is one thing, but taking 7 years to conceive is not the norm. 95% of women will get pregnant within 2 years of trying. So, when we say try not to stress, please try not to stress. If after a full year or even 2 years you have still not conceived, definitely seek medical help with fertility.
@worththewait78 I am very sorry it took you 7 long LONG years to conceive, definitely isn't fair especially when you want it so bad.

[worththewait78]

Also - we adopted our first child (who is the LIGHT and JOY of our lives!!!) after trying to conceive (unsuccessfully - without knowing all of our infertility issues) for five years.  I can not TELL you how many people told us, "Oh, now that you've adopted, you will be able to conceive."  They thought that, because we weren't focused on it anymore and because we were "relaxed" and now had a child, that somehow our infertility would just "miraculously" go away.  Well, obviously that's not the case.  

Anyway - this is truly something I am passionate about!  And this is probalby the wrong thread to be posting it on.  I just had to stand up and say something!!

[worththewait78]

I HAVE to chime in here and say that fertility doctors are NOT all about your money!!!  Not the good ones!!!  It's COMPLETELY naive and irresponsible to tell someone that.  My husband and I are now HUGE advocates of infertility awareness.  Like I said - simply telling someone to "relax and it will happen" (IF you truly do have infertility issues) is like telling a Cancer patient that "if you relax, your cancer will go away and you will be cured."  Yes, you are young.  And yes you have only been trying for nine months (although I empathize with you because that can seem like an eternity when you are TTC!).  And yes, it takes an average healthy couple a year to conceive and most doctors won't address the issue until you've been trying for 12 months.  Still.  You need to be aware and educated!!  I only WISH I would have known when I was 26 what took me seven long years to learn!  Be an advocate and learn as much as you can!!  And like I said before - most of all - GOOD LUCK!  Sending lots of love, hugs, baby dust and COMPASSION your way!! :)

[lisa1905]

i am agree with (cnhauk) . i saw that ur in ur 20's then u are young , if u were in ur 40's and were trying for past 10 y . i would be worry about it :)

[cnhauk]

It can take up to 1-2 years for healthy couples to conceive. Most doctors won't see you till you've been trying at least a year, so try not to get discouraged.

[lisa1905]

it took me about almost 2 years too , i thought that i am never going to be pragnant. i started to see fertility dr , and that was a big mistake because they are all about ur money. i did one round of IUI and lost it then i stop trying and got over my stress and i got my bfp on day of my birthday , now i am almost 13 weeks. as all other posters said try to relax and not be stress at all , it will happen , before u know it u have ur little one on ur arms , sending u a lot of baby dust :)

[worththewait78]

Please (PLEASE!) be advised, though, that just simply telling someone to "stop trying" is NOT a cure if you really do have fertility issues.  Our fertility doctors (one of the top in the nation) has gone on talk shows and compared that to someone who has cancer or another illness.  You don't tell a cancer patient "Just stop trying or stop stressing about it and your cancer will go away."  The same applies for couples who are infertile.  Infertility is a REAL disease.

We tried for SEVEN (yes - SEVEN!!) years to get pregnant.  It was agonizing.  But looking back, there was nothing we could have done differently (except maybe do IVF sooner ...)  Turns out my husband and I BOTH had fertility issues and the only way we were able to get pregnant was by doing IVF with ICSI.

I don't say this to worry you or stress you more. But just to let you know that it's not as simple, most times, as saying "just relax and it will happen."  You definitely need to keep seeing doctors and make sure you are both THOROUGHLY checked out.  

ALSO - don't get too "sad and worried that you'll never have one."  Our fertility doctor has a 95% success rate and says that almost any woman can get pregnant - whether on her own or with reproductive assistance.  It's possible for almost all of us.  Even those who had to wait seven years! :)

There is ALWAYS hope!!!

Good luck!!!

[cnhauk]

It took me and DH 9 months to conceive. We tried and tried and nothing. Finally, this month, we just stopped 'trying' and enjoyed being with each other and bam! It happened! So, listen to everyone else. While you may not FEEL stressed about trying, your body feels that. Enjoy the experience and just enjoy being with your guy!

[jersgirl1234]

thanks so much for the info...i know i get told all the time to stop trying, but it is so hard now that we have already started trying.  I hope it happens but i know it will when we least expect it.

[KAnuCmEY]

It took me two years to get pregnant with my son. There was no reason that for it, but looking back I would assume it was the stress of not getting pregnant right away and it just added up. I took clomid and finally got pregnant but it ended shortly in a miscarriage. I was advised by our doctor to stop trying for a couple months and bam I got pregnant 4 weeks after my miscarriage with my son. Guess I should have taken everyone advice when they told me to stop trying.  After DS I didn't see a need for birth control considering it took so long to get pregnant with him, and oppsie when he was 4 months old I got pregnant again with my daughter now to be due in 3 weeks. It's going to happen for you, just try to relax and have faith that it's going to happen. try acupuncture to help just relax you not for fertility, or get couple massages, stop recording your cycles and throw caution to the wind sort of speak. good luck