who will be in the delivery room?

[smybax]

I've always assumed I would have my mum in the room with me abd she has always assumed she would be invited. me and my mum are genuinly best friends, my worry is my boyf is quite shy and i worry if my mum is there he will take a stel back and my mum will be the main person. I would like her to be there for parts of it but come and go as i want this to be about me and my boyf howecer i think she would stay the wholetime for fear of missin something.
it is her dream to be part of such a beautoful thing and i dont want her to miss out.
whenever i have discussed this is the past she has made jokes that i will need her there and i wont care when im in labour. but that annoys me more because i know shes right but Its not the point i want her to do as i ask and i agree with her that when im in labour all that will go out window. i'm really stressing because i want her there so bad but feel that because we are so close it will end up being about me and her and not a close intimate thing with my boyf.  i thought avout asking her in until i push but agen i bet i would change my mind at last minute and also dont thinkita fair she misses the most important part.
the point i want her to do as k say and

[JewelK]

Your bf sounds like me haha! I wouldn't have even been at the delivery, except there's no way around it as the mother. :-P If my husband hadn't wanted to do so much, I would definitely have had someone else (maybe my mom) there to help.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having others present at birth. welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting thing and having more loving arms around can't be bad. :-) And the mother can certainly appreciate the support of other women she cares about. Some certainly want a more private experience, and I can understand that, too.

[beautifulmomma]

My personal viewpoint is that my husband should be the only person in the room with me. No one else was with us when the baby was made, and no one should be with us when he is born (except medical professionals).

I agree with the ladies above though that you should come to a consensus with both prior to you going into labor.

[emmaftm]

My mums coming no where near the delivery room lol she ran out of the hospital on me when i had appendicitis because she is scared of blood lol im just having my bf in the room but ive said if anything goes wrong (god forbid, prays all round) i want my dad to come in because he will keep me calm! Im a big daddies girl lol

[KTowne]

Honestly, if you have a shy boyfriend, you might want your mother there, just to take some of the pressure off him. I wanted my mom there (what mother wouldn't want to be there for their daughter?) Just tell her to make sure she's including your BF, and making sure it's all about you and him, you can always ask her to leave!

[smybax]

Thankyou so much!
My boyf doesnt want to catch him or cut the cord and has never really held a baby before. also hes quite squimish. He says he'll be fine in the delivery room and would prefer it tk be just us but he is also ok if I decide to ask my mum.
If i ask her I plan on saying I want her at the end of the phone to come and go and not stay the whole time, also lkke you said not to be too involved as its not about her but us.

my friend had her Mum, partner and MIL in with her and it was a very difficult labour so she never minded at the time however she did say it upset her afer that her MIL told her she saw him crowning and she found it so embarrasing afyer the event. At least it wud b my mum and despite bein 26 she often sees me naked now anyway.
She will go wih whatever i ask but she didnt have her mum in with her so she shoudl understand but she always assumed she would  be in the room and keeps saying she'll be there if i want her.
I mentioned yday i hadnt decided on the birth plan and tried to politely tell her i wasnt sure if i wanted her there. she got the hint but then i swear i saw her well up as she was upset. be in the rokm and

[JewelK]

Maybe you could explain how you really do want her there but you don't want your bf getting pushed aside. Would "delivery room rules" help? (One possible one being "everybody has to do just what I say".) Maybe you could find out from your bf if there are particular things he wants to do (catch the baby, cut the cord, etc) and you could tell your mom and the docctors/midwives/nurses that he needs to do those things. Don't know if you are making a birth plan to give the doctors and nurses or midwives but you could put in there that you want them to make sure your bf is involved. Then they can watch for mom taking over and they could tell her to leave (then you aren't the "bad guy"). Just some ideas.

My sister wanted to be in there for our first baby but my husband wanted to do the delivery himself for the most part (our midwife was fine letting him) and he thought since he didn't know what to expect he might feel on the spot sort of, with people watching. I didn't know if I would feel too self-conscious having anyone else watching so we told her no. She was there until the pushing stage and then she left.

Just so you know, I didn't really believe you could feel so unconcerned about your privacy and so unaware of surrounding things and people in labor. But it really is true! At the time I remember thinking I really wouldn't have cared if more people were there. Even now it seems odd to me, looking back, that I could really have felt that way (so not me!) But it was true. So my sister will be there with my hubby this time.

[lisas9]

Your best bet is to sit down with them both. Talk about what each of you wants or doesn't want and try to come up with a compromise which works for you all. You don't need the added stress and ultimately it is up to you. If you explain to both of them that you want them both included then they should be happy with whatever you decide. Maybe tell your mum separately that you are worried your partner is going to take a back seat but you want him to take an active role. Ask her to help encourage him to take a more active role, that way you spare her feelings and will make her feel more in control and more needed.

[smybax]

Ignore the last line its a typo.
I'm can't stop stressing, i don't know how any of you can help, eveytime i think of talking to my mum about it i get worked up as I dont know what i want.