19 month old insists on sleeping in our room.

My child always has fallen asleep in my arms, it has never been a problem, slept the whole night since she was about 1 yr...... slept in her crib, didnt fuss at night, nothing,...... now for the past couple of days (about a week) she gets put to bed, wakes up an hr or two later and yells mama, when i pick her up she points to our room, and insists on sleeping there. i mean if i pick her up when shes sleeping to put her in her own crib, she wakes up and crys til i put her down on my pillow......... last night i even tried to bring her into the living room when she woke up and called out for me...... she fell asleep in about 15 min, i got up to put her back in her crib, again cryyysss and points to our door.......... and she moves a lot in her sleep, very noisy,moving baby since birth...... i can not fall asleep. I dont know where to begin. she is big already, 19 months now. she has slept in her crib since birth. do i let her cry it out for a couple of days? or what???!!! any advice is appreciated. And please dont tell me that "co-sleeping" is totally beneficial, i keep coming across how ppl let their kids sleep with them up until they go school, my child has her own beautiful room, and she should get used to sleeping in there. ........... i wouldnt mind if i wasnt a light sleeper but i can not sleep when she is in our bed......    sorry its so long, but what can i do?

[30something13]

I agree with you I always had mine in their beds. I nursed and love my babies but they sleep so much better and learn how to fall asleep better.

I would be firm that she not be in the room with you and not take her there for nothing even if that means you sleep in the floor while she is on the couch or even sleep on her floor while she is in her bed for a bit. She might be having nightmeres. Or going through another attchment phase. You could always let her hold one of your night gowns or something that has your smell on it, or even cut up and old sheet and say you are going to share it with her. Once she sees youa re not going to give in she will stop. Just think creative and it will work out. I think lots of babies and kids go through this and they just need reasurance. Do you know what might be bothering her??

[smjmekg]

I only had my son in the bed with me the first few weeks, then he was in his bassinet and later crib in my room, at 6 months old I moved to Korea with him to be with my husband, and did the no no thing and let him take a bottle to bed with him where he'd fall asleep and stay that way until he needed another bottle. BUT at his age he was perfectly capable of falling asleep on his own and holding the bottle, it would be out of his mouth as soon as he was out (I made sure of this) and we only gave him water. Now at 19 months, he fights falling asleep, and sometimes wants to be held until he falls asleep. Once in a while I'll hold him for a few minutes and then put him in his bed. He cries and screams for a few minutes then calms down and goes to sleep. My best advice to you is for some tough love to be put into motion. Put her in her crib, tell her it's time to go night night, tell her you love her and walk out of the room and shut the door. YES you're in for some rough nights at first, but she will eventually understand that it's time for her to go to bed in HER room not in mommy's bed. If you're working it may be best to start out on a night when you're off the next day because you may not get much sleep, but trust me, it will eventually work. I've had to walk outside because it breaks my heart to hear the "mommy" and crying, but my son learned, and your daughter will to. She's also at the stage of wanting to get what she wants, and doing whatever it takes to get it. You have to stand firm and be mommy. I don't know how long she naps for but maybe try letting her sleep only a couple hours, and not late in the day. DS goes down for one nap a day and it's around 12-1 that I lay him down (when he starts looking sleepy) he's usually up 1 1/2-2 hours later,  and his bed time is 8. When I got him on this routine, there was no more waking up at night, and he's tired enough most nights he goes to bed closer to 730, and usually wakes up between 7-9. Be strong and let her cry it out, it sounds mean, but she needs to know she can't sleep with you. DS does wake up once every couple months screaming and I think he may have a nightmare or something, but even then I bring him into the livingroom let him sit with me for a little while and put him back in his own bed. Does she want anything specific when she gets up other than just to be in your bed? The more you give in to her getting in her bed the more she'll think you'll let her do it whenever. You need to stop now so she doesn't get used to it. Sorry it's so long, I hope I helped, keep us updated on how it goes!

[smjmekg]

Oh, sorry forgot to add, you should also stop letting her fall asleep on you. Make her lay down drowsy/tired and go to sleep on her own, she needs to learn to or you may be staying up with a child that has to fall asleep with mommy for a very long time.

[tina25]

I waited until my son was 2 1/2 and in a toddlet bed before I put him in his own room. At first I had to scare him if you get out of bed mommy is going to give you a shot :) It worked! But he still comes every monrning into my room and sleeps for an additional hour with me :)

[julianovak]

thanks ladies!!!! your stories brought a couple laughs.... lol...... well, about two wks ago she had two nights where she woke up screaming, like a terrified kind of sream, i think she had a night mare those times, now she just wakes up and mommy, mommy, --says it until i comeover to her, and streaches her hands so i will bring her to our bed, yes it is just our bed that she wants to be in. its not that she wants me to hold her, she just wants to sleep with us........ i tried to ignore her 'mommy' episode last night but she seemed like she started freaking out, cuz i didnt come, ------She usuallly takes 2 hr naps, actually she JUST woke up saying mommy, and i gave her her paci and she just fell back asleep....... but at nighttime not even me holding her will stop her from sleeping in our bed, yesterday i tried to sleep next to her crib, on the floor, yes i know i sound deperate, she just was yelling no no no no..... and when i explained that "isabella has her own crib, her own pillow," she didnt wana hear it said  no no no............ Any more suggestions ladies?????? i tried "talking" it out it didnt work......  i should give her my night gown or something.   sorry so long ladies........ :)