34 WEEKS PREGNANT AND STILL DONT KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS

[melmoms]

My last period came on Dec 29 2008. In the early weeks of Jan I had sex with my ex and a guy I was talking to (both were unprotected) I also had sex with this other guy on the 25th of Jan  (technically it was the 26th because it was late at night/early in the morning "protected"). I found out later I was pregnant and have no idea who the father is out of the three. Please help I am very confused, the doctors said my due date is Oct 4th and I have tried every conception calculator on the web. They all point to one of the 2 guys I had sex with in early Jan but I know that doesnt mean much. Please any advice or thoughts would be nice.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Becuase you had sex with 3 guys in the same time frame, the only way you are going to be able to tell who is the biological father will be to wait until the baby is born and have a DNA test performed.  There are more factors involved besides just who you had unprotected sex with and when, it depends on when you ovulated, did the condom have a hole in it that noone knew about?  There's no other way to know for sure.

[MaryAK]

DNA test.

[melmoms]

i am going to get a dna test but would i be able to have an idea whether it is one of the two guys or the one late in jan

[LosingMyMindInGA]

not unless you knew exactly when you ovulated.  

[LosingMyMindInGA]

let me add that even if you DID know when you ovulated it still depends on how long the sperm survived in you and how long implantation took

[spade22]

A DNA test is the only way to know.

[melmoms]

would there be any other way to have at least an idea

[Sunkissed19]

I really dont think there is any other way but a DNA test...i know your worried and nervous but with all the factors that you have to take into consideration it would be impossible to know especially if the first two guys were days apart becuz sperm can stay in you for like 72 hours so you really have to wait it out and just get the test. if you werent tracking your ovulation or cycle lengths before you got pregnant then it will be really hard especially if you had sex with one guy...ovulated...and then had sex with the other either of them could have fertilized the egg...or it could have been neither of them and you could have had a problem with the condom with the last guy. if you dont know your cycle like the back of your hand then u have to do a DNA test.

[crzygrl1987]

I am 95% sure that the guy on  the 25th isn't when I got pregnant with my daughter was in the middle of january she was due oct. 19 and my aunt got pregnant about a week later and her daughter was due oct. 30 so in order for the baby to be the guy on the 25 your baby would be due the end of oct. not the beginning but I have a feeling that the second guy you were with is the father

[melmoms]

ok thank you very much

[JoyRenee]

Going by a "feeling" doesn't make one a father over the other. Sperm can live up to 5-7 days in the vagina. Not to mention that implantation can take another 7-12 days post ovulation/conception. So whoevers' sperm penetrated the egg first is the father. A DNA test, NOT GUESSES, is the only way to know. You owe it to your child to get a DNA test.

[melmoms]

I just don't understand how the doctor came up with the conclusion for the due date??

[melmoms]

can anybody help with some sort of educated guess besides a dna test please??

[Nini2686]

There is no way anyone of us could tell you. Get a DNA test.

[bluegenie2003]

The doctor came up with the due date from a combination of your last menstrual period, and then the size of the baby when ultrasounds were performed.  Very rarely (usually only in fertility) will they use the date of conception, and as Joy said, since implantation can take several days after ovulation, even this isn't an exact science.  I know you want someone to tell you who the father could be, but although we could guess, NOTHING we say here will give you a definite answer.  Like everyone else has said, since the three guys were so close together, a DNA test is the ONLY way to tell for sure.

[annaleesmom]

have you told any of the possible fathers?  you will need a dna test.  Don't be afraid.  things happen.  You need to have this done for your baby and the father.  They both deserve to know.

[melmoms]

GUYS, I HAD THE BABY AT 37 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS. CUTE LITTLE BABY BOY. NOW THE QUESTION I HAVE IS WOULD THIS BE ENOUGH TO RULE OUT THE GUY I SLEPT WITH ON THE 25TH CONSIDERING IF IT WAS HIS, GOING BY CONCEPTION, I WOULD ONLY BE 35 WEEKS PREGNANT. SHOULD I JUST DNA THE FIRST TWO MEN OR STILL DNA ALL THREE??

[MaryAK]

You need to get a DNA test.  There's no way any of us will be able to figure out who your baby's father is.

[izttc]

You could always DNA the first two men and see if there are any positives. If there aren't, then obviously it's the third guy. :-)

[melmoms]

THE FIRST TWO GUYS ARENT COOPERATING WITH ME IN TAKING THE DNA TEST. THE THIRD GUY IS WILLING TO BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT THE FIRST TWO TAKE IT?? WHAT SHOULD I DO?

[Quinns momma]

Get a court order making them take the paternity test. Because whoever is the actual father will have a legal responsibility to provide financial assistance to his son. Not to mention hopefully be a positive role model in his childs life.

[mamaofonetrying42]

If the 3rd guy is willing too, do that 1st, so you can rule him out if needed...I dont know if you can get a count order for a DNA test, you should check in to that...Good Luck

[melmoms]

thanks for the advice

[MaryAK]

Go to court.  Then, they won't have a choice.

[heatherlynn22]

i agree with the other ladies.....get a court order.

[sprarah]

Yes you can get a court order. They dont have a choice then. The courts would want to know who the father is so they can make them pay child support.

[kiwifruit1]

Aside from the pregnancy issue, are you aware of STD's?  You should be thankful that a pregnancy is the only thing that you got out of this.

[sprarah]

Thats a little harsh. People come here for support not critisizm. People make mistakes. I am sure you have a few skeletons in your closet. Completely uncalled for.

[BJB2B]

First off...Congratulations on your healthy baby boy! I agree with the rest of the ladies. Definitely get a court order. Good luck! Hope everything works out for you.

[melmoms]

thank you to all of you, it is much appreciated

[JoyRenee]

My feeling is you can test the one guy who is willing. It will stand a better chance at the court hearing to have ruled him out first, if he's not the father. Otherwise, if he IS the father, you could waste a lot of time, energy and money on the court fees.

So test the cooperative guy first and go from there!

[melmoms]

THANKS FOR THE HELP, I HAD THE DNA TEST TAKEN AND I CAN FINALLY BREATH, AGAIN THANKS FOR THE ADVICE, I APPRECIATED IT ALOT

[Grandmatobe]

Did you get the results back from the test?

[melmoms]

yes, i finally know who the father of my baby is

[Grandmatobe]

Good - I'm glad that you were able to put it all behind you.  Congratulations on your new baby.

[Jay_Leron]

congrats on the baby boy. glad to hear you got it sorted it!