7 months preggo and i dont feel like my mom cares? is it normal?

[jessyboy007]

i know if i had a daughter , and she was pregnant , i would be soooo excited and i would make her my priority!!
but lately i feel like my mom is so detached from me, doesnt call me as much as she use to,,,its like now that im having my own daughter, things changed between her and i . we never had the best relationship over the years, but as i got older, we tried to put things behind us...now it seems like things have worsened.
should i cut her out of my baby life when she will be born , we live in 2 different state , and i dont feel like she should come and visit the baby when its born in 2 months.i have my own family to think of ,,,and i dont have time for this stupidity right now...besides, it stresses me out, and i dont need that the last 2 months of my baby girls life inside me!

what do you guys think? am i being selfish, ? am i wrong for doing this, or what do you think is going on in her thick head of hers!!

im very pissed off at her behaviors...it might cost her relationship with me (her daughter) and her grandchild!

your opinions?

[ramseyh17]

I know how you feel. My mom did not talk to me at all for the first 4 months of this pregnancy. She tried to make me have an abortion with my first two, when I told her I was pregnant this time I did not give her a chance to even say it and that made her mad. I don't really know what to tell you to do though becasue I am actually dealing with this same decision. My mom still doesn't even know that I am having a girl because she just doesn't care and has not asked me anything about my pregnancy so I don't give her any information. Why should I tell her anything when she doesn't even care? Anyways I hope everything works out for you.

[louieforlaughs]

hey,
um, your mom might not know she is stressing you out, or that she is even doing it. she might be thinking that you need some your space. so i would say, you could either gently ask her if something is wrong and if she realizes you feel a strain. or you could completely ignore it and wait for her to come to you.  but i would say that you will probably feel a lot better if you talk to her.  at least take a few days to think about things before you tell her not to come visit at all. you might not feel the same way in a few days. how does your significant other feel about this situation? maybe if you talk to through with him you might get some insight?  
well, i hope things turn out for you. its always nice to have family nearby for support.
best of luck with everything!

[JoyRenee]

I could speculate on many different things. But I don't think you should cut your mother out just yet! She may be feeling all sorts of emotions and inadequecies. Maybe she feels like she's failed you your entire life, so why should she bother now. Give her another chance!

When I got pregnant, my mom was dying but excited. My MIL was very disappointed in us (we were 18 and 19, not married, pastoral family, etc.). My mom died 2 weeks after I got married (I was 2 months pregnant), leaving this terrible loneliness and despair. I felt distant from my MIL, like she just didn't know how to be around me.

But once my daughter was born, my MIL was literally banging on my hospital door saying, "Can I come in yet?!" I laugh to think of the transformation in my MIL. We have an amazing relationship and she's given me so much wisdom. Not to mention she is the BEST Nonna in the world to her grandbabies.

Things can change. Don't write your mother off just yet. You're very lucky to have your mother alive to even give a chance to. Don't take that for granted, please!

[JoyRenee]

Oh I love what louieforlaughs said! You definitely should speak with her, gently of course! Let her know that you want her involved and that you want to know she cares. Great, great advice!

[jessyboy007]

my hubby is supportive of my decisions, whatever it is going to be, but he sees the way it hurt s me and the things she has done to me lately to stress me out...and he feels protective, he wants me to tune her out and not bother with her! its hard, cause its my mom, but i still cant understand for the life of me, why she choses this time of my life to act out like this..still makes me wonder what is her problem>>>>???

thanks guys for ur advice!

[ladytilith]

I wanted to say something. My family was so upset when I met and married my husband, I never thought I would have a relationship with them again. The first time I got pregnant my mom said, and I quote "I hope the baby is never born". Shortly after that comment I had a miscarriage. But things have really changed, I am pregnant again and both my parents are excited. Their going through a divorce and recently my mom tried to kill herself. But when she found out I was pregnant, she found out there was a lot to live for. So in the end I am not just having this baby for me and my husband, but also for my mom. I'm not saying this to upset anyone, and I sure hope I didn't. But I have heard a lot of women say they had terrible experience with their mom's through the whole pregnancy, but once they had the baby everything changed. So I pray that everything will work out with you and your mom.

[shay2420]

i cut my mom out.  I felt like since she didnt want nothing to do with me then she dont need to have nothing to do with my son or daughter and we live 5 mins from eachother.  But thats ur choice.  U do what u feel is right.

[kelliestarr]

Wow just wow.

[New Mommy 2 Be 2007]

my mom doesnt even know im pregnant im telling her this week im 14 weeks but i didnt find out until i was 11 weeks, she actually made me have an abortion last pregnancy i got pregnant 11 weeks after the birth of my son. my mom just cares a lot about my future but by having this baby doesnt mean im not going to go to school im starting ultrasound tech school next fall so im all set.

[JoyRenee]

New Mommy 2 Be--- I want you to know that whatever your mom's reaction is, she cannot make you do anything! I don't care how badly she may pressure you or even if her argument seems sound. You are the voice for your unborn baby! But I do hope that your mom reacts in kindness and excitement!

[ramseyh17]

Like I said before my mom wanted me to abort my first two children but don't get me wrong when they were born she was right there the whole time and has been everyday since. She does remind me sometimes how likfe could have been different for me if I had not had them. But she is a great mother and grandmother. i just hope that she does the same thing with this baby as she has done with my other two. Being that this will be my last pregnancy maybe she will be happy now.

[New Mommy 2 Be 2007]

i love my mom too shes a good grandmother carmine loves her she just wants what is best for me just like any other mom. I guess it was meant for me to get pregnant again i will let her know if this baby is a girl im tieing my tubes lol im done! Then she will be happy