I am still in shock

I just found out yesterday that i am pregnant and i am still wondering if i will wake up from
a dream. I am 28 years old and this is my first child. Deep down i am excited, but i am also
extremly concerned. I was always the one bragging about how i have no kids and how independent
i was, and now i am considering whether to keep it or to abort it. The father is leaving the decision up
to me. He says that he will be there for us both but that if i want an abortion he would pay for it.
I am not financially secure at all, i am struggling to keep from filing bankruptcy, and my situation right
now looks bleek, but i do not believe in abortion either. Does anyone have any advice for me?

[Berrygirl]

Do you believe in God? I believe God asks you to put your trust in him. Believe that he is going to make a way out of any situation. He would never put more on us than we can bare. He just isn't like that. He wans his children to be successful, fruitful and blessed. If you do not believe in abortion then go with that and go with God. I am a witness that God can take that which looks bleek and make it blessed. I will pray for you and ask that you let yourself be led by a positive spirit and consider yourself blessed.

My DH and I have been trying for two years to have a child. The first ended in M/C and this one is giving me a run for my money and I am on bed rest at 8 weeks. I would give the world if I could to have a pregnancy and it go smoothly and I would not have to worry and my baby be alright. So try not to consider ending a blessing that many of us here on this forum and in the world wish we could accomplish. Consider adoption before termination. There are people financial stable waiting to get a baby in their arms via adoption and some couples are open enough to let you be a part of that child's life.

My next option will be adoption if DH and still have a hard time carrying to term. Not only because we love children, but God has blessed us enough to where we should be able to bless someone else.

On a financial note. You may want to go forward and look into bankruptcy. Sometimes starting from the bottom and starting all over is better than trying to keep your head barely afloat above water.

I will keep you lifted up. My disclaimer is...This is all my opinion and not something to live by. You asked and I gave it and I want you to know someone is parying for you.

God Bless

[Mommy3Girls]

Sweety, even though I am all about choices, you may want a heads up about some of the mommies in here. Some women are trying to conceive and cant, so abortion is a very touchy touchy subject.
If you ask me, at 28, being pregnant I think you would be fine keeping the baby and raising it like God intended you to. If you weren't meant to be pregnant you wouldnt be. i went through the whole independent stage last year even having my two girls that are now 7 and 10. I swore I would never have anymore kids becuase I was happy my girls were getting to be pretty independent themselves and as a 28 year old woman (last year) I was doing well. I had my girls, but still had a life too, even though my girls came first. I realized that (dont take this the wrong way, because eveybody likes time for them and has every right to that) I was being selfish at times and needed to make my children more of a priority and do more with them. There are sacrifices we all need to make, but when you have a child that loves you as much as a child does and you love them back just as much if not more, then all that being independent and on your own, not having to worry about babysitters or diapers or whatever goes away, and makes you more of a successful woman than you could possibly imagine. Give it a shot. And...if you decide once you see that beautiful little face that you were meant to give birth to, that you arent cut out to be a mommy, then put him or her up for adoption so another family that cant have children of their own can love that little one as their own.

As berrygirl says, God wont give us more than we can handle, and I think if you are pregnant then you are meant to have that little one and be a mommy. And why not start now, rather than wait another 5 years and have it possibly be too late to do it. :-) Good luck with your decision.

[Mommy3Girls]

P.S. Bankruptcy can feel devistating, but its not as bad as it seems. If you need to then do it. I did it 3 years ago, and am building my credit now, but its not that bad. Better to start over for 6 or 7 years than stay buried for 10 or 20 right?

[Lhnter78]

Things really have a way of working themselves out!  I believe if you think abortion is wrong you should definetly not even consider it- you'd probably regret it for the rest of your life.  If your situation is that horrible, maybe consider adoption- there thousands of people out there that would be willing to help.  Good Luck

[Praying4MiniMe]

Well said!

[rnh3290]

while it is your decision to make and its your body and your life, i cant help but belive abortion is wrong. I use to believe that it was ok in certain situations, but now i only belive it is ok if the child is a product of rape. But however you are a grown woman and im pretty sure you can get financial aid and stuff and your mature enuff to take care of a child and you have the means and everything. If you dont want the baby thats fine, you have your own reasons and i respect that. But at LEAST give the baby a chanve to live. While you dont want the baby there are millions of good, caring loving couples out there that cant have there own children who would absolutley love to have your child as their own girl! and as previous women have said, God wont give you nothing you cant handle. and he give us children for a reason. you mite say you dont want the baby now but im sure as the pregnancy goes on you will grow to love him/her so much you wouldnt even think about letting her.him out of your site for a minute. im pretty sure the fact that you will no longer be independent and responsible for just yourself is kinda overwhelming and maybe even a little upsetting, but GOD has given u this gift of life, and i think you should at least give this baby a chance at life. Girl, if you would see the pictures im pretty sure you wouldnt have even said nothing about abortion. I have this book and in the back are pictures of wat the baby looks like after. belive me you would have to have a heart made of stone not to cry. And they explain thouroughly what exactly is done to the baby. I think its down right murder. and u seem like a decent person, and i dont think you should even do something you dont belive in! Like one of the girls said, things have a way of working themselves out, and im pretty sure youll come to a decision that youll be happy with. Good luck!

[emily79]

you have to look at how you will feel if you terminated, i considered every option when i was pregnant, but at the time, although i didnt have much money but i was 23, in a relationship, living together etc, i had no real reason to terminate, apart from inconvenience, so i went on with the pregnancy and had twins! i knew in my heart of hearts i couldnt terminate, but it was an option i had to keep open, just look inside your heart and you will make the right choice xx good luck and dont forget it is your decision