Im Pregnant with no Father

My name is Sandra. Im 14 yrs old and I've been dating my boyfriend for two years now. We've been fighting a lot and he's been extremly distant from me. Hes 17 years old and he's leaving in june for the Army. We've talked about him going and me staying here to finish school. Which probably will be very hard since now Im pregnant and havent told him. He's a very good guy and i know he would stay to help me. But i dont want that, I want him to do whatever he had planned for himself. But we broke up. He's been talking to another girl. This isnt the first time. He's never cheated on me. Or not that i know of. But I have caught him flirting with girls and having pictures of "his best friends". Now i just told him that i cant trust him and broke it off.. But now, How do i say that im pregnant? I dont wanna seem like im keeping him away from his child. But then i dont wanna force him to stay. And not force him to stay with me either...

[Ashelen]

Sandra, you need support for your child. Whether or not he goes to the army is irrelevant, he needs to know about his child so he can make the best possible decision on how to support him/her. If he has treated you well and will support you and the baby, he has a right to know and you should tell him now. HE needs to make the decision whether or not he wants to go join the army still and support his child that way, or stay here with you and get a job to support the child and help you in that way. You WILL need help...is your family supportive?

My advice would be this: tell your boyfriend, and tell him now. Let him decide what to do with his future as far as how he chooses to support the child, but he MUST choose to support the child in one way or another. You sound like a responsible young woman who happened to get pregnant unfortunately young, but with a good head on your shoulders, the support of your family, the support of the baby's father, and some very hard work you will do just great.

[avaortega407]

Not in a reading mood but what ever Ashelen said is probably great advice. I think you should tell him he deserves to know give him the chance to step up and support you how knows he might be a great father and partner. I think ive asked you this before but have you told your parents they may be able to help you alot also. Also an out of the blue statement dont let anyone make you make a disision you are not comfortable with. You may only be 14 but you can be a wonderful mother there are young girls that do it on there own every day remember you are no longer a child the moment you became pregnant it is time for you to grow up some will say your only a child to nieve to have a child or raise one that you are just a child your self but they are wrong though it may not be ideal for you to have gotten pregnant so young you are and there is no turning back now just like a 25 year old woman has to learn what to do when pregnant by reading or asking family and friends so can you aand when you child is born you will keep learning after the 1st yr it will not be as hard though still not easy. Good luck

[diamondintherough79]

I agree, you need to tell him. If he decides to stay, then so be it. You need the support aswell. Whatever else has happened/happening between the 2 of you now needs to be put aside. You have created a life that needs both Momma and Dadda. Thats my opinion anyhow. I had my first child when I was 18, and if it werent for my ex( although he was a cheating P.O.S) I dont know how I would have done it. Good luck

[penswriter]

It doesn't matter what he wants to do now or what his plans are. He helped create a life and now he has to help raise and support it. You just need to get over whatever fears you have and tell not only him but also your parents. Remember this is no longer your life or his...you now have a baby which is going to envelope your every moment. THAT is what matters. The baby.

[sweetpea03]

I really think you not only need to tell your boyfriend(ex), but you also need to tell your parents. I know it might be difficult to do, but they can be a great source of support for you. Then you can sit down with them and talk about all of your options. You can keep this baby and raise him or her, or you can give the baby up for adoption, either a closed or open adoption.(assuming you don't want an abortion). Having a baby is a huge life change, and you will need the support of your parents and boyfriend on this. Both of them need to know and the sooner the better. I hope all goes well.