Just need to vent

My fiance and I were planning on getting married in june of this year. When we found out we were expecting,(march 2012=due date) we moved the date to june 2013. Our son wasnt planned, but we are both very greatful to be so blessed. Anyways, the past couple months I feel like were drifting apart. He is an amazing man but lately he never tells me that im beautiful like he used to, doesnt suprise me with things anymore (which I try to do for him once a month), we dont do anything as a couple (including sex), and now he says were getting married too soon. He doesnt realize it, but hes breaking my heart little pieces at a time. Any advise?

[parkersmommy]

I completely know what your talking about my husband and I just fight constantly. I hate living like this and crying all the time I'm soooo over it. But it's weird it's like you just can't leave. I hope everything gets better for you. Good luck

[Morrisfamily2012]

I know how you feel parkersmommy. I am in the same boat. We have our good days and our bad days. Guys just don't know what they do to us.

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds like he's ambivalent about losing his bachelor freedom, a baby certainly slams the door on that more than the idea of getting married does.  I hope he mans up and gets over this attitude, but hate to say it -- putting off the wedding instead of going right to the judge and getting married the day you learned you were pregnant has given him a lot of time to dither, and if he gets away with this immature posture you might not ever see him at the altar.  

[babystocker]

You know when its right. If you love him and he loves you stick it out. Pregnacy is so scary in the beginning but once the baby come things should change. And the best person to vent to is HIM. Even if its hard to talk face to face try texting him and tell him not to respond just read and take it all in. im sure he will come around.

[Mommyjeep11]

Tell him how you feel. My husband and I were like that for a while. We wanted to have a baby and when we finally found out I was pregnant its like a switch flipped and all we did was fight. He was never home. His job keeps him away during the week but even on weekends he would go to friends houses. Finally I told him if he didn't want to be a part of it he could leave but I was tired of being left all alone all the time. He either was going to step up or get out. Pregnancy hormones don't help much either but he is still your SO and the child's father and he needs to realize he is now responsible for someone other than himself. It is scary but as adults it's just what has to be done.

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with Mommyjeep very much in that if you don't tell your guy the rules, he won't have anything to decide about.  A lot of guys, when you tell them the "here is the way it is" speech, will decide to man up and say yes.  They might need to hear it clearly stated and certainly should be offered a choice, if their actions are of the foot-dragging and ambivalent variety.  ("You will either decide to marry me and be a good daddy in our happy home together with me, or I am going to make a happy life for myself and our attorneys can work out the details about child support and visitation.")  Too many women settle for crumbs when they could have the whole cake if they only put the option out there.

[ICantWait2CU]

Get a hobby. Stop giving him your attention. seem uninterested. By doing so you give him space. He is starting to feel pressured by being a provider. It is a new feeling for him. But think of it as a rubberband around your finger... If you pull the loose end and let go it snaps back. If you pull the loose end and move the finger towards it, it remains loose and cud fall off easily. The further it pulls away from your finger, and the stiffer you keep your finger from going towards it, the faster and harder it will snap back. Its harder than heck but try concentrating on you and leave him be for now. He is probably trying to figure something out onhis own right now. It helps... trust me. So go out have fun go for a drive go tote movies

[ICantWait2CU]

Get a hobby. Stop giving him your attention. seem uninterested. By doing so you give him space. He is starting to feel pressured by being a provider. It is a new feeling for him. But think of it as a rubberband around your finger... If you pull the loose end and let go it snaps back. If you pull the loose end and move the finger towards it, it remains loose and cud fall off easily. The further it pulls away from your finger, and the stiffer you keep your finger from going towards it, the faster and harder it will snap back. Its harder than heck but try concentrating on you and leave him be for now. He is probably trying to figure something out onhis own right now. It helps... trust me. So go out have fun go for a drive go to the movies. stay out late. let him miss you a little. don't be a puppy who waits around for him he can go buy one if that is what he wants. Be you. Remind him why he fell for you. Do things you loved to do before you knew him.

[ICantWait2CU]

Also... don't do that o im in charge cap urn going listen to me... because then he will feel like you are attacking him or trying to control him. It will make him feel suffocated. He might def fall out of love. What works with one guy doesn't always work with every guy. They are different.

[Peytonsmommy2012]

Thank you ladies for the positive feedback! :) I vented to him and let him know how I feel and that if im not what he wants to tell me now. He assured me that his son and I are his everything, he just has "pre baby jitters" but since we talked about it things are so much better. Thanks for the support. You ladies are the best!

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm glad you clarified.  There is no reason to stew in worry and fear.  Pre-baby jitters is understandable, it's a lot easier to deal with than not knowing where you stand overall.