Moment of silence for baby Jesse....

My god be with them during this HARD time!


RIP baby Jesse

[Ashelen]

<3

[MotherOFSweetieD]

Bless there hearts RIP sweet ANGEL! We are praying for you and your family sweet baby!

[mamaofonetrying42]

Its so sad....I cant stop crying....what she most be gone thought at this time.....

[Quinns momma]

I am in shock... I am so sorry for the loss of this brave little boy.

[AHP84]

I am so, so sorry. I can't stop crying. My prayers are with Chantal's family. :'-(
My God bring them peace and comfort.
I am so sorry. He was a beautiful, happy, wonderful baby boy and I am blessed to have known his story from day one.

[blueeyedtabbycat]

I just heard, I am so sad, and I am so sorry:~( Ditto to the other girls I cant seem to stop crying:~(

[BTS1022]

I am so sorry Chantal. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Jesse was such a wonderful little boy. Please lord, offer them strength and peace during this very difficult time.

[Ready_4_Baby_2]

Ahh this is sad new. Im so sorry to hear about Baby Jesse. Chantal my prayers are with you and your family.

[shishka]

Such a sad news. Rest in peace Baby Jesse.

[houseofgirls]

May he rest in peace.  My thoughts and prayers are with Chantal and her family during this difficult time.  

[Sasha80]

My sincere condolenses to you and your family.  May baby Jesse rest in peace :(

[Sunkissed19]

I Cant stop crying, i was also blessed to have known his story from day one...i remember the day he was born and how beautiful he was...and how strong Chantal has been the whole time..this is just too horrible.

May God and the Angels welcome you with open arms baby boy
rest in peace.

[Cassandrajane]

I dont know whats going on or whats happening, But she is im my prayers. And may Jesee Rest In Peace.

x

[mamaofonetrying42]

After a lengthy battle with Biliary Atresia, Jesse Alexander Dodson succumbed to a blood infection late in the day August 1st, 2010. He was 11 months old. His Father, James and Mother, Chantal were there when he died and stood by his side as he left this world.

The day started early in the predawn hours when Jesse started having trouble breathing. James and Chantal took him down to the hospital where he was admitted into the ER, 9 to 10 hours later the nurses at the hospital found that he had a bacterial blood infection which soon gave him Anemia.

James and Chantal received the bad news that Jesse was heading toward the end rapidly and rushed to the room to be by his side; As they arrived the doctors and nurses where attempting to revive him, but to no avail. At 8:49PM on August 1st, Jesse Alexander Dodson left us all, left us and went to a place an eternity more peaceful, a place where he will never feel the pain or suffering of this disease, he is finally resting peace, resting for eternity.

Jesse will be missed dearly by everyone and greatly missed. Jesse will never be forgotten and will live on forever in our minds, thoughts, and memories.

-Nathaniel Dodson(BIL)

http://www.babyjesse.org/jesse-alexander-left-us/

[confusedmanda]

god bless sweet angel.  and god be with the family in time of need

[julianovak]

SO SO SO SAD!!!!!! Im praying for Chatel and James... and their other little son!!! Rest in Peace jesse! YOu are having a wonderful time playing with all of those angels, you know No pain, and you have no fear.... Its your memories that will keep you alive for family and friends.

[gokuangel]

they did surgery on him at 8 wks the surgery didnt work properly and then they found out the liver transplant was going to be his only option!!

I am so devastated by this! I have been on the forum through the whole thing and when Chantal had her first baby!! Jesse was fighter May he rest in peace and God watch over him and give this family the strength they need to carry on!

[waitn838]

this is so very sad...i remember chantel from when i was preg in 2007 and she was very supportive to me after i lost that baby in 2008....she has always been supportive and it breaks my heart hearing this awful news....

i really dont know what words to say because i dont think anything could take the pain away that they are feeling....im sooo sooo sooo very sorry to hear of this tragic loss

[Linzola1]

I saw this on the baby Jesse foundation page today and broke down... Baby Jesse was a sweet little boy and I am positive his family is going though a lot right now! My prayers are with them and I pray they find peace!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

OH NO!  It's such a tragedy to lose such an innocent life.  My heart and my prayers go out to their family.  Losing a child is a parents worst nightmare.  I know all too well the pain and heartache that goes with losing one.  Baby Jesse is now in the arms of Jesus and is no longer suffering and that is truly something to be thankful for, though his loved ones here on earth are aching for him he is safe now.  

[rdh1981]

My hands are shaking and my eyes are pouring out tears! This is such a horrible tradegy! My heart is breaking!
I hope you guys do not take this the wrong way, but those of us who had to bury our children cannot stand to see RIP! I know it does not mean to harmful but it is heartwrenching to see infront of your child's name!

Fly high Little Jesse! I am sure my Little Cooper as already welecomed you!

God, I am hurting for her!

[Spiket77]

Fly little butterfly...

My heart breaks for this family.

[mami1323]

You hope for the very best, you never want to believe that something so tragic can happen.  It's a parents worst nightmare.  My heart is broken.  I remember when Chantal was pregnant with Jeremiah....I feel so sad.  My prayers are with Chantal and her family.  Jesse was a fighter.

[Heatherm4]

Much love and prayers to Baby Jesse and the family! ♥

[tatorbug40]

Cassandra,

They didn't know that he would be in heaven this soon in life.  They were hopeful that the transplant would work and he would live a long healthy life.  He was sick, and he was fighting, from  early on in life,  but the day she gave brith to Jesse she was told he was perfectly healthy...  it wasn't until a few weeks later that she learned differently.

And I am sure even if they knew from the beginning that he probably wouldn't make it,  the pain of your child passing away is just as painful as if it were sudden.  I know you were just trying to understand the situation.  There is a blog posted on Chantal's profile, it tells more of Jesse's story.  That might help you.

I am so very heartbroken for their family right now.  Chantal,  may Jesse watch over you and your family until the day you hold him in your arms again at heavens gate.  We love you.

[Sunkissed19]

That was very well put...thank you for politely explaining that to her while the rest of us are too shocked and upset to explain...

i still can't believe this happened, I am praying so hard for the lord to ease their pain.

[5n1]

I am sooo sorry for their loss, I remember her being pregnant and remember when she had Jesse..My heart aches for her and her family, and husband, and husbands family...We will definately be praying for them...It is such a tragedy...I really hope she and James are okay...

Thank you for keeping us updated ladies, that way we can show her we are all here for her and James....

May God touch their hearts and heal their wounds....

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I am still in shock myself......What a beautiful little boy....Can't seem to stop the tears.  It is amazing how much someone can touch your life from so far away.  We love you Chantal!

[nickieb85]

Poor Chantal and family. ALL OF OUR HEARTS go out to you...

[Clysta]

This is horrible to hear. I pray the family finds the peace they need during this hard time.

[NicMom]

Chantal and I started talking when we were pregnant in the September 2009 babies forum. I have to say after following her journey with a pregnancy that wasn't easy and then all the ups and downs of this last almost 11 months that I look up to her so much. She is such a strong woman and mother and it breaks my heart that she lost Jesse so soon.

[Limonada]

I was holding it together untilI I read that note from the Jesse Foundation site.....I'm just so, so sad right now, I don't know what else to say....

[mami1323]

I just wanted to keep this post near the top.

[Ashelen]

I agree thank you I'm not sure anyone else could've responded that politely which is why I said what I did...I appreciate your calm response on all our behalfs.

I was the same way Jen ....I can't stop playing those words in my mind, and I know that the family is hurting so badly right now and I can't stand knowing that...heartbroken </3

[Linzola1]

I already posted on this but I just cant stop thinking about Chantal and her family and how hard it has to be for them. I just pray that they find peace with this and know there little one is in Heaven along with rdh1981s little cooper! They are both little angels watching over their parents and families. This hurts so bad to know that people I consider my family (MH family) are going through this! You are all in my prayers! God Bless

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Chantal and her husband and family are defiantely in my heart right now, Reading their story has brought back emotions that I felt 9 years ago this Wednesday when we lost our first son at birth.  Now, here I sit as my mother is dying from cancer in a hospital room 600 miles away.  I can share their pain and relief (that he's no longer suffering), their aching and sadness.  I know they feel blessed to have known him and held him and loved him for the 11 months God gave them with him.  It's always hard to understand why God would take such an innocent, young life.  Regardless of our understanding, He always has a plan.  

Chantal, when/if you read this, please know that my heart is aching for you and your family.  Though the road may be long, you will eventually find ways of coping and remembering dear Jesse.  My coping mechanisms when we lost our son were writing poems, I also dried flowers from his funeral and made memorial magents, and now every year on his birthday we burn a special candle in his memory.  The heartache never goes away and the tears never fully cease to fall, but keeping his memory alive however you see best and by cherishing the wonderful memories you have, it becomes easier to manage, little by little, day by day.  Always know that he will be watching over you and protecting you no matter where you go, he is always by your side in spirit and in memories of him. Whether you choose to have more children or not, you will always have that special place in your heart that no one but Jesse can occupy, yet you will still find the room in there for others to have a piece of your heart as well.  

[JillyHemp316]

Sometimes life can be so unfair. My heart and prayers go out to them.  God must have needed another angel. I cannot stop crying

[BTS1022]

I'm definitely with you on that one. Reading her story and hearing the news has brought back a lot of emotions and heartbreak that I went through 7 almost 8 years ago. Losing a child is never easy, I know this all to well...just like a lot of other families do and unfortunately will know. I never ever wish this on anyone, it's not something that eventually fades from memory or from your heart, it's carried for a lifetime. Coping with the loss is much different than any other loss anyone could go through, it's a loss that never get's easier no matter how many days, weeks, months or years pass.

I cope with losing Bailey by lighting a yellow candle(her birthstone color) in front of a window for her to see, and then letting go balloons on her birthday..I will be releasing 8 yellow balloons this year on her birthday November 17th. I also put a piece of paper inside the balloon should anyone find it....it's a poem I sit and write for her every year for every birthday, and will continue to do so until the day I see her again.

My heart is definitely breaking for the family of baby Jesse. It's a long road ahead, I won't lie....but one thing is for sure, you couldn't have a better guardian angel than your own child.

[Jhumia]

I just read about baby Jesse....can't stop my tears....my heart goes out for his family. May God give them the strength to cope. Can't imagine what they must be going through.

[mami1323]

Bumping it up.

[connorethansmom]

I was on here with my daughter when your first was born, and then saw when I came back that you had another little one.  I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this.  It looks like this little man has touched so many lives.  We are all thinking of you and your family.

[LauraB78]

This saddens me deeply, and I am at a loss for words.. Chantal & James, you & your entire family will remain in my thoughts and prayers through this excruciating time. My heart breaks for you. May Jesse rest comfortably in peace. All my love, Laura

[Ashelen]

*bump*ing

[smjmekg]

Chantal, James, and Jeramiah...my heart goes out to you all. Jesse was such a fighter. May he rest in peace.

[smjmekg]

*bump*

[AHP84]

I imformed Chantal via Facebook about this post, for when she feels ready to read it.

She responded, "Thank you soooo much. You all so wonderful and I cant believe how many people I have who care so much and are so thoughtful. Please let everyone over there [know] I love each and every one of them, and I am so thankful for everything. I will read it soon."

[mami1323]

Oh I'm so glad she knows we are all here for her.  Even more heartbreaking hearing her response.

[Sunkissed19]

thank you for telling her that we're here for her, i agree with mami, hearing her response brings more tears to my eyes!

stay strong Chantal, we love you!

[rdh1981]

What a dear sweet person she is! During this time of pain she actually sent me a friend request on FB. I am glad to know that my prayers and thoughts are heading her way!

We love you Chantal!

I am going to post this prayer....it helped  me so much when my sweet Cooper passed away:

Angel of God
My Guardian Dear
To Whom Gods love
Commits me here
Ever this day be at my side
to light and guard and
to rule and guide
Amen

Fly High Baby Angel Jesse!

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

so sad to read this, i dont know chantal but have read her stories of when she was pg with that sweet angel... my prayers are with you and your family

[jenstam]

): Chantal, you have many mother's, friends, grandmothers across the globe pouring out love, healing and prayer to you and your family during the very difficult time. Nobody can understand your pain unless they have been through it. I know there are several mothers on this site who can help you. I haven't been on here much in the past several months since having my son in November but I have been silently following your story and I just want you to know that I lift you and your family and baby Jesse up in prayer. As rdh posted, Fly High Baby Angel Jesse. I know there is nothing that can comfort you right now, but we are all here and we all feel heartache for you. XO

[ivy_kween88]

): i am so sorry this is happening to your family! your baby will be watching down from heaven..i have no words to describe the pain you go through since i have been through it myself with my first born..you and your family are in my prayers! stay strong..baby Jesse wouldnt like to see his mommy sad!

[blueeyedtabbycat]

I dont know if your going to read this Chantal but I wanted to thank you. Thank you for letting us know Jesse, even if it was for a short time. Many of us feel like he was family.  He has left his mark on me and many others. Thank you Chantal for letting us have the chance to know such a beautiful little boy:~)

[Ashelen]

I actually posted my condolences on another post but I want to put them here as well because I want Chantal to know how much her and Jesse's story touched my life...he truly is an inspiration and even though he's in Heaven now he still continues to inspire. I know he was a little fighter, and you and your little boy both showed us all the true meaning of strength and perserverence and love. You reminded us all to cherish our little ones no matter how irritating they might be at times...and we are all grateful for the gift of sharing your story with us.

Bless you all, and Bless little Jesse whose short life touched so many others.

[chantal21]

Dear Ladies,

I have gone through and read each and every comment. Brought tears to my eyes. I don't know what to say. We all have been through a lot together; happy and sad times. I am missing Jesse's sweet little face and his sweet smile and the way he said "Dada". I miss Jeremiah hugging him and giving him kisses and Jesse always lighting up at the sight of his big brother. Jeremiah NEVER, not even once, was mean to Jesse. And I am not just saying that. Jeremiah had a special place in his heart for Jesse and would do anything for his little brother. Such a sweet memory. We just explained to Jeremiah today about what happened to Jesse. We told him that he is gone and won't be back and that God took him to Heaven to be with Him forever. Later tonight and he told James that Jesse was at the hospital and he will be back tomorrow. He also said that God is going to take him to Heaven as well. James told him that God isn't going to take him now, but one He will and that once again, Jesse won't be back. How do you really explain that to a 2 year old? I cherish Jeremiah so much. I have neglected him so much in the last 11 months. But I had no choice, and now I want to do everything with Jeremiah that I can. I was telling James tonight how guilty I feel that now I can go places and not worry about Jesse's meds, or his feeding tube, or if it's too hot outside. And most of all that I can sleep through the night now. I feel so guilty. It's terrible. But one thing I am happy for is that Jesse will no longer feel pain. No more needles, no more poking, no more pain. He is completely perfect now. He is happy. He is in Heaven. I rest in that. God's plan is perfect and who are we to question His will and His way? His way is perfect. Jesse was here, not a minute sooner or a minute later than he was supposed to be here for. He was put on the this earth for 11 months and he will forever remain in my heart. I know right now it's hard for me not to think about him and cry because I miss him, but I don't miss the pain he went through on a daily basis. I can't wait to be with him one day in Heaven. I now have 3 babies in Heaven. The 2 I miscarried and my Precious Baby Jesse. <3
Thank you so much. You are like a family to me.
The funeral will be on friday, August, 6, 2010.
We are doing something special for him. We are burying him in the back corner of our property. We have 6 beautiful acres and want him with us forever. It will be beautiful piece of land for him and I can go visit anytime I want. I think that will help me alot. Knowing my baby boy is there.
Thank you all. Actually, thank you isn't enough.
I love you all. Thank you for everything. <3
Jesse will forever be in my heart and has changed *me* forever, for the better. His *smile* will never go away. <3

[Cassandrajane]

Please dont feel guilty. You gave him the best life you could regardless of what was happening, He is now your guardian angel.. And will protect you through EVERYTHING as well as the rest of your family, I think its lovely you are burying him so close to home.

He is going to be looking down on you going to everyone else in heaven going 'Yeah thats my mummy, she is the best mummy anyone could ever have!!'
You and your family will ALWAYS be in his heart too.

You seem so strong to have gone what you went through and things like that, and he is so proud of you and the family. You done everything you could. Please don't feel guilty. Everything is going to be okay.


'Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened'

^^That saying has helped me through alot. I mean alot. It will for you too.

I'm sorry this happened. But Please don't feel guilty, please :)

We are all here, and so is baby Jesse. Always, he will always be with you.


x

[LACh1]

Hi, I am not on here very often, but still like to catch up from time to time and see how we are all travelling.  I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about little Jessie and his family and would like to add my thoughts at this very sad time.  There are so many people who are on here and care about the members of medhelp and their families and I hope our thoughts can give you some comfort and let you know how many people knew about Jessie and his life from all over the world and that he will not be forgotten.

[Ready_4_Baby_2]

Chantal,

You and your family are in our prayers. I pray your guilt will fade because as you stated he is perfect now no more worrying. He's no longer in pain. I'm sure he's playing in Heaven with my Little Matthew and having a great time.

[mami1323]

Oh Chantal, I'm holding back the tears because I'm at work.  But I'm so happy to hear from you.  Jesse was a little fighter, he made me smile every time I looked at his picture.  I can't even imagine what you are going through but I have to say you are a strong woman.  Jeremiah might not understand now but he will one day.  It is very hard explaining that to a 2 year old but I think you did the best job you could.  Jesse was a blessing and yes, I believe he was here for a reason.  Maybe to bring awareness to others about his rare disease.  Maybe to give you someone to love even if it was just for a short while.  He has touched so many with his life and now with his death.  Don't feel guilty, you did what you had to do and now you can know he is in peace and out of pain.  Spend time with Jeremiah and know that we are all here for you.  Love you!

[peekawho]

Much, much love and prayers for you and your family.  I know you are hurting so badly right now, and there aren't any words to really help in any way.

Know that you are loved, and your whole family is in my prayers and thoughts.

Peek

[houseofgirls]

Chantal, I just want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers during this very difficult time.  There are no words...

[colorado_g]

RIP baby Jesse you will be remembered as happy beautifull baby. lot of prayers to your family.

[rdh1981]

The tears are rolling down my face. I am shaking as I am typing. Chantal, you were incredibly kind enough to share Jesse with us and now you are sharing this incredibly thoughtful post with us. You are an amazing, strong and wonderful mother.  

I am begging you not to feel guilty. What you are feeling, is Jesse telling you everything is going to be okay. I had that same sense of guilt after Cooper passed away. Then one day I realized that was Cooper talking to me and letting me know that he was happy and healthy with God!

Your poor little Jeremiah. Losing a sibling or any loved one is hard for  a child to understand. They just do not seem to understand that death is permanent. Heck, there were days when I often thought my Cooper would be back.....and I know better. Just give him time and maybe you guys can go to a family grief center that can help him express his thoughts.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing that wonderful little boy with us!

Jesse, everyone in life has a purpose. Your purpose was filled! You taught others to love, to trust in God and to fight, because life is worth living! Your tiny footprints will forever leave a mark on my hearts, next to Coopers and all the other Baby Angels!

God Bless you Chantal!

[mamaofonetrying42]

I had to take a min to wipe the tears from my face.....Oh Chantal, I just cant stop hurting for you...What a strong..Beautiful person you are! I wish from the bottom of my heart that I could be there Friday to pay my respect(sp) to you and your family. And like others have said Thank you for sharing Jesse with us! Many Loves!

[mom2ariana]

oh my this story definitely brought tears to my eyes. i am SO incredibly sorry that you are having to endure this pain, but i share your faith and i can tell you with confidence that God has a perfect plan for your life and for your family's as well. We might not always understand it, and sometimes it seems cruel. but each and every thing that happens on this earth happens for a reason. they are all intricately connected and one cannot happen without the other. Your son Jesse has had more of an impact that us as humans could ever understand. he has touched so many hearts; think about the blessings others have experienced just by meeting him!! like rdh1981 said, his purpose on this earth was fulfilled. one day you will meet him again :)
i know nothing can erase the pain; and i cannot imagine losing a child. my little girl has only been with me for 2 1/2 months now. and to lose her would be devastating. i can't even wrap my head around 11 months. im so so sorry.
take it day by day. dont look toward the future. find little ways to remember him. pictures, flowers, songs, videos.
and never feel guilty. we are only human, and you were the best mommy to him you could possibly be.

[Sunkissed19]

Chantal,

I like the others am wiping away the tears...you are such a strong beautiful woman and that really cant be said enough.

I just cant find the right words to express how proud i am of you and the amount of healing you have done already.

[julianovak]

Chantal, Like the other women Im wiping tears away. As i read your post, I couldnt believe that God made someone as strong and as beautiful as you are! Don't Feel guilty, You have another sweet boy who needs as much love as before, Jesse is happy and painfree.Of course you will miss him, you will always miss him. He is a part of you, a part of your family, He will always be with you. Always. Thank God we have faith in Him! Knowing you will see your sweet boy one day is one of lifes most precious gifts! I cant imagine what you are going through right now. I cant even picture it, and im afraid too. I honestly am. But you arent alone, you never are, God is always by your side, and so is little jesse! =) My friends child (3yr old) passed, The family loved to talk about what Nikii would be eating for breakfast and what she was wearing today, I think that might help alot for all of you, but expesially for Your other son! Imagination is incredible and it might be the answer that your son is searching for. Bless you! And again please dont feel guilty one day youll wake up and realize youve just spent time with guilt for no reason.. Jesse is happy and can fly! =) Hes lucky to have had a mom like you, and he is also in a wonderful place which is also his home! Hes waiting for His family now..... <3 sending you love and warm wishes!

[mami1323]

Ugh, I keep coming back to this.  I'm crying at work...I can't even imagine how you are doing it Chantal. You are such a strong woman.  Jesse is on my mind all the time and that's a good thing...because at least you know he's touched so many.

[Limonada]

We love you, too!!  What a perfect spot to lay him to rest <3

[AHP84]

I keep coming back to this as well, along with checking your FB updates. He was such a cute and happy little boy; I adore all the pictures of his smiling face and his head full of curls (and even the adorable little buzz cut you gave him last week).
I showed Trevor the last video clip you had of Jesse two weeks ago posted on FB where you're playing peekaboo with him and he's laughing and enjoying Jeremiah showing off in the background with the iPhone. When I had told Trevor about Jesse's passing on Tuesday, he broke down crying.
Jesse touched so many lives, even those that have never met him.
I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but like the other ladies, I admire your strength and faith during this incredibly agonizing time.

[thisbabygrama2one]

What a blessed and wonderful famly you are.  Your amazing, and i thank you for sharing your lives with us....  Bless you in your continued healing, and i will love to hear of your growing strong again with precious Jeremiah.  Bless your Jesse, he will always feel your love..

sending prayers for strength and healing...

[jenstam]

Chantal, I came back to this again also. Haven't been visiting MH as much these days as I have been busy with my toddler and baby but I want you to know that I personally have been touched as well. My bond with my kids is stronger because of your Jesse. The Love you were blessed with in the birth of your son carries on in us all. That is very powerful!! God gave you such an amazing little boy with a BIG GIFT to share. LOVE. I cherish that Gift more than you know. Thank you for sharing him and yourself with us. I will be thinking of you tomorrow especially.

[mamaofonetrying42]

Bump*

[Cindy]

Words cannot adequately express how deeply sorry we are for the loss of your precious son, Jesse.  Life doesn't prepare us for tragedies like this because they are simply unimaginable and the grief nearly unbearable.  Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband and family and all of Jesse's loved ones.  We send you our heartfelt sympathy and hope that the wonderful memories you have will help ease your pain very soon.

Cindy Thompson
MedHelp International

[Emily_MHModerator]

I am so very sorry for the loss of precious Jesse.  May the strength and courage that has brought you through the last several months carry you through this tragic time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Emily

[amberd5191]

Through the September 2009 pregnancy forum you began to share your story with all of us ladies on there. I am deeply saddened by Jesse's story you are so brave and strong. I am sending many prayers. Much love.

I'm sure the Baby Jesse foundation will help so many!

[chantal21]

Thank you all so much! tomorrow will be 3 weeks, and I miss him terribly. Our lives have completely changed and trying to find the "new" normal is not easy. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. <3

[UmYusra]

OMG i just read this now, my heart is broken and i cant stope crying. may god be with his family

[SunWorshiper_26]

Chantal you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!  My heart breaks for you

[BeautifulMistake2010]

Tears are streaming down my face right now as I read this.... *HUGS* I am so sorry for your loss hon.... I remember back in the day when we were pregnant together.... It's just.. Wow.... I cannot imagine what you are going through although I have lost a child before.. My thoughts, prayers and hearts go out to you and James at this difficult time..... Feel free to contact me hon. I'm alway's here