Newborn Sleeping Question ..HELP :(

My son is a month and week and some days (lol) and he hardly sleeps....and im not just an exhausted new mother speaking here and exaggerating...he never sleeps! honestly stretched out during the day he sleeps for about 2 hours (all added up during daylight hours...if im lucky) and 3-4 hours all added up during night time hours. this doesnt seem like enough to me? and relatives are always commenting on how alert and awake he is...my mom thinks he's a zombie baby and she doesnt know how i havent hung myself yet LOL and my MIL thinks he has insomnia...i have no idea what to do...nothing works. Sometimes he'll just lay there quietly and stare at whatever for a while and other times he'll whine or grunt. Sometimes he likes to fall asleep at the breast but as soon as i move him he either wants to wake up and eat again or he just wakes up. His feeding pattern is also super weird...sometimes he'll eat every 3 hours and sometimes 4 hours and sometimes 1 hour and sometimes he's hungry again in 30 friggin minutes!!
since im breastfeeding ive had no idea how much milk he's actually been getting so i thought this might be some of the problem (if he isnt getting enough milk) so i bought a breast pump today so i could pump out some bottles to feed to him (and so DF can do a couple so i can get a nap or two ). He did fine latching to the bottle because we've been using a breast shield to help us nurse so he's used to the silicone nipple already. I had a question about this too...my first time pumping i was just able to get under 2 oz....how do i get more milk to come out? and how often can i pump/should i be pumping? and if i have a supply in the fridge do i need to pump at night too or can it wait until morning?
Pregnancy really messed up my already messed up back so im in physical therapy for it right now and to sit and breastfeed has been putting an awful strain on me so i was hoping the bottle feeding could give me a much needed break before i have a complete meltdown (on top of it all we just moved into a new house in a new town and ive been trying to unpack and clean and cook and get up with him every two seconds of everyday) i really just cant do it like ive been doing it anymore. he has no schedule of any kind and im just so so tired. any pumping or sleeping advice that anyone can give me would be awesome!

[spade22]

If you baby is only getting about 2h of sleep in a 24h period then you need to let his pediatrician know to find out if this is something that is cause for concern or is within the realm of "normal".  This certainly doesnt sound "normal" to me so I would call his doctor if it were me.

[Sunkissed19]

including night time hours its about 6 hours a day give or take...sometimes less. We just moved to a new town so im trying to find a good pediatrician at the moment...ima searching! im about to just pick any ol darn one in a minute though haha!! but im trying to get some recommendations from some people i know  here first! Even with it being 6 hours...i still dont find that normal. i have no idea what kind of conditions would be keeping him awake though. I also think he has reflux issues...which is no surprise because i was born with GERD and have had to have an operation for it when i was 12. So im hoping to also get him on some Zantac for the spitting up and the constant eating/belly aches. He finally just passed out after being up for 5 hours...heres to hoping he sleeps more than 10 minutes!

[cocacolapanda]

My son was just like that, he's still kind of like that at 2.  He's just an alert and active child, some are just like that.

If your child isn't fussing like he's hungry then it's not the issue.

As for the pumping, If your still breastfeeding pump both sides at the same time right after a feeding.  Or pump one side while your little one is feeding.  At first you won't get tons because your little one is still eating from the boob, if you were pumping exclusively you would most likely get more.

Are you pumping until all the milk stops spraying?  They suggest to pump for 2-5 min after the milk stops spraying because many women will have multiple letdowns.

Now, if you give your child a bottle, you should still be pumping during that time as well.  If your child feeds every 3 hours you need to pump every 3 hours, including any night time feedings.  If you plan to breastfeed for a full year I strongly suggest you make sure your supply stays good during the first 3 months.  Even when your milk comes in your supply isn't really set, it takes 3 months for your body to really get a good handle on things.

We talked to our dr about our son's sleeping issues and our dr (several different ones at that) told us that they will sleep when they need to and as long as there happy and growing there's not really anything wrong with them.

[JoyRenee]

Some suggestions:

-Lay down to breastfeed. It might feel awkward at first but once you get the hang of it it should alleviate the pressure on your back.

-Let him sleep at your breast. He's way too young to develop "bad habits" or to "manipulate" you. He is not sleeping and that is bad. If he will sleep at the breast please let him. When he starts eating solids and gets older he will transition out of that, I promise!

-Pumping is not necessary unless you are going back to work and need to make bottles. Otherwise the skin-to-skin contact is very nurturing to your baby!

Your baby should be getting around 15 hours of sleep a day (that includes nighttime). It will slowly taper down from that as he gets older. Be honest with his doctor and let them know how much he is sleeping.

[JoyRenee]

Oh and it's normal for your baby to want to eat sporadically. Some women put their baby on a strict schedule and will make them wait to eat so they're eating every 2-3 hours. I do not agree with that method whatsoever. Babies know how to listen to their bodies; they know when they are hungry (will root, put hands in mouth) and when they are full (close their eyes, go to sleep or turn their head away).

So listen to your baby's cues. If he does eat every 30 minutes that is fine! If he decides to wait 3 hours that's fine too! I wouldn't go longer than 4-5 hours during the day to feed him at his age. Might offer the breast at 3-4 hours if he isn't showing signs of hunger. Remember you count from the *start* of the feeding, not the end. If you start feeding at 3pm and he finishes at 3:30 you count from the 3pm time and not when he finished.

[Limonada]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this!!  I really cherish my sleep and I'd be at my wit's end if I was living what you are.  I truly sympathize!

I get the opposite about Gil's sleeping:  he naps for about 2-3 hours twice a day and then sleeps through the night for 9-10 hours.....I've had people say "WOW....that's  A LOT" and tell me that's not "normal" - but he's happy and alert when he is up (and the routine of it keeps me sane, believe me), so I don't question it.  Some babies are better sleepers than others and some require more sleep than others.  I know of adults who only need 4 hours a night....and tell me that they've always been that way.  So sometimes it's just the way we're hardwired.  But I'd still speak to a pediatrician once you find one.

As for pumping.....I'd say that you should do what is right for YOU.  Sure, skin to skin contact is what is best - but you - or DF -can still do that, even whiile bottle feeding.  If being able to pump and have DF give your son a bottle every now and again will give you a break, then I say go for it.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with it.  Personally, I wish that Gil would take a bottle so I could pump again.....but he's a boob man, 100% ;-)  

Hang in there!!! :-)

[LosingMyMindInGA]

My now DD6 was the same way.  I swear the child NEVER slept, I remember walking grooves in the floor with her at night.  The ONLY thing I found that would get her to sleep was letting her lay on my chest or snuggled up to me in my bed.  I would lay down to nurse at night becuase it was so much easier to just flop it out and let her latch and then I could atleast rest while she drank.  According to my ped there was nothing wrong with her, we weren't doing anything wrong etc.  She's had trouble sleeping on her own from the start, it took us until she was almost 5 before she would sleep in her own bed and fall asleep on her own.  

As for pumping, It's better to pump at the same times you would feed him.  This will help to keep your supply up.  You have to play with the different suctions settings on your pump to see what works best for getting your milk out.  For me I had to  start out low and gradually increase the suction til it was pretty much wide open.  I also would have my baby right there with me or would look at pictures of them while pumping.  It helps to stimulate let down.  I've had to pump with all 3 that i breastfed because of latching and milk production issues.  

As for the sleeping, talk to his ped about any tips he may have for helping him sleep.  I figured out that if I put my DD in her bouncer right by the dryer (which happened to be in the kitchen) it would sooth her.  Having a radio on to certain music soothed her.  Other than that I learned how to do a lot of things one handed becuase I was CONSTANTLY holding her so my head would stop throbbing from her screaming.

Good luck, I hope you are able to find something that works for you!!!

[Sunkissed19]

thanks for the adivce ladies...you've all been a great help!