OT: BAD FRIENDS

[shasy03]

Do you have that best friend that you can tell everything to?  Well...as of tonight I DO NOT.  I am completely done with this girl!  We've had our ups and downs in the past but I put past behind us and tried to move on.  This is the same girl who told me that I was never pregnant in the first place and I was just telling people I was pregnant to get attention.  Well I go over to our friends house.  She was there. (she's dating my husbands best friend)  Well we started talking about the beach and she showed me footage of the trip they took back in june.  Well all of a sudden she goes hey guys...(talking to her bf his brother and their friend)  I think I found the reason behind Sherri's irregular periods....she's obese!  Here listen 70% of women have irregular periods due to obesity.  DH best friend goes haha a fat A** causes missed periods....there you go guys you have your answer.  Their friend that was with them said something like that's not right guys....she turns and goes....well she is Daniel.  

WHAT KIND OF FRIEND IS THAT???? OMG I am so pissed off right now....By no means am I obese.  Yes I might weigh 10 lbs more than I'm suppose to but if 10 lbs makes you obese then almost everyone in the world is obese.  Here she is due in February and getting married in May and I'm suppose to be here with her in her greatest times of need....ahh....she pisses me off....

Am I wrong to get mad?  What in the world was she thinking?  Okay enough of my ranting.....I'm sorry to take your time....I have to get this off my chest or it's going to KILL me.

[JoyRenee]

That was rude, uncalled for, and even abusive. You don't have to stand for that. Tell her she can find someone else to take care of her baby shower/wedding stuff.

You're NOT wrong to be mad. NO ONE should treat a person that way!

[Roz1977]

i agree with you!!! she is 100% wrong and if it were my friend i wouldnt speak with her again! I dont know why she feels the need to embarrass you, and why would she mention your personal business regarding your period especially in front of other people. did u confront her? Does she always have such a big mouth and did she apologize?
Oh and u are far from obese you look great.

[sweetangel7]

Wow...she is nasty...and mean...I'd tell her that her comment was hurtful and inappropriate and...that I didn't care to have a friend like her around any more...

Sorry you had to go through that!  I'd be so upset!  I'm so sensitive to weight comments...I think our society is based upon crazy ideals and people of a healthy weight or 10 pounds extra get a bad rap.

You don't need a friend like that!

[shasy03]

I didn't say anything because I'm not going to waste my time.  She was laughing about it when it was playing on the computer.  I got up and said I'm not going to take this and I went outside and told DH I was ready to go.  Needless she came outside to apologize after we were in the car only b/c her bf was already apologizing and ran inside to tell her to come and apologize to me.  I don't know what to say to her....I'm lost kind of because she is the one person I would NEVER Say anything about.  I guess in life you learn who your true friends are.  

Roz1977-I don't know why she feels the need to broadcast all my business....she's done this several times after I asked her not to.  I don't broadcast everything not even to my dh mother sil grandmother.  If I have a problem I just say I have a problem.  When my period starts I just tell my DH Aunt Flow came to see me he's like okay....that's it.  She asked me why was I married to my own husband if I can not talk to him about my period.  It's not that I can't talk to him about it...it's the fact that he's a guy and I respect him enough not to give him gross details of AF.

sweetangel- She's not my friend anymore...She's gone.  No Baby shower no wedding...I'm done.  

[BTS1022]

I dont blame you at all for being pissed off. What she said was down right immature, rude, and uncalled for. It is one thing to *help* a friend who is obese(not saying you are), but it is another to sit there and spread your personal business to everyone. I feel for you. I really do. I have had my fair share of women as friends do that to me.

Did your hubby say anything? Did he defend you against her? Even if she is with your hubby's bro...I would have laid into her, man or woman.

Don't waste your time on her, and don't let her think that you need her, your better than that, and im sure Karma will turn around and nip her right in the arse.

[shasy03]

BTS- The thing is that her and I have been friends for a lot longer that DH and his friend.  DH stood up for me and defended me against his friend...it's my job to put her in her place.  And I did by getting up and walking off. That kills her more than yelling or cussing at her.  I just gave her a look and said ha...some friend ...I don't need you and walked off.  DH's friend said he was sorry and what he said was uncalled for and he had no reason to say that.  I don't know if he was being honest or not.  But he's the reason she came outside and I told her I don't want to hear it.  If she was going to apologize then she would have done it when I saw the video NOT when her BF ran inside and told her to get out there and apologize to me.  DH's friend KNEW I was pissed and he didn't know what to say.  DH's other best friend was like where was I in this video and I told him you were taking the video...he was like ohhhhhh I know what convo you were talking about.  He apologized for even being there....I just HATE people and this is why I don't trust anyone.  I can not stand to be hurt.  Especially after I let you in.

[amy0013]

Sounds to me like she's jealous of you!!!  She knows you are a better person inside AND out and she can't handle it.  I don't blame you at all for being done with the friendship.  It is not worth your time, stress or effort.  I hope she realizes that her b*tchy ways will not keep her friends around for long.  :(  I'm sorry you had to endure that.  Good for you for walking out!!!

[BTS1022]

I feel the same way as you do when it comes to letting people in. I have 2 friends, 1 which lives in a different state, and the other who hardly ever comes over unless I need her for something and offer to give her money.

I don't need *Real life* friends, all the ones I have ever had always stabbed me in the back one way or another. It doesn't hurt me to not get close to someone, it hurts me when I do get close, thats why im usually the one that is quite pissy around others. I make sure im unapproachable to others, especially other women. Im okay doing stuff like this...online, phone convos, emails and such, because when sh!t hits the fan, I can just turn off my computer, hang the phone up, not look at emails ect...

*sighs* The life of a hermit lol. I know it isn't healthy, but neither is being stabbed in the back constantly. I dont even have contact with my sisters...I have never gotten along with women, and I have never trusted them. I always wondered what I did so bad, for me to be constantly punished.

Oh well...Im not going to lose sleep or waste useful brain cells wondering if im the only messed up person in the world lol.

[JoyRenee]

You know I don't even have girlfriends anymore. I keep my private and intimate life VERY close to my heart with other women because they're too catty and vicious. It's a lot to handle and you have to find ways to get your feelings and thoughts out without feeling like your best friend is going to betray you. Friendships are a healthy part of life and learning so I'm not saying people shouldn't develop relationships with others. Just saying that you can make do without certain individuals in your life!

[holly_b]

That is so nasty! I'm speechless! How awful for her to bring up your personal life and insult you in front of others. I have always had irregular periods as do millions of non-obese women! You are 100% right to not have her in your life anymore. Whoever said that she was jealous I agree, it sounds like she is the one with the problem. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I really can relate. You don't need her you are so much better than that. I hope you feel better and don't let her get you down. Holly.

P.S. Looked at your photos. Your beautiful and far from obese:)

[Denya]

Oh yeah, she's just Jealous.  Your beautiful, got a great husband, and she just doesn't so she tries to make you feel how she feels about herself.

[iwannabemommy]

Usually, people like this have a problem with themselves. They may live a great life and act happy all the time... but sometimes they're dying inside to improve on something. You look beautiful and to say something like that was just an insecurity on her part. Some women can look like angels but be nasty as all get out in the inside. That was so wrong for her to say that. You can't erase time. But, you can make new friends..  Better friends... and someone to confide in that is only looking for the same in return. There are those people out there. It's hard to find them these days I know. Even the best of friends, can become children again. That's just how life works hunnie. So, no you were not wrong to get that mad or storm off. If she wanted to, she could grow up just a tiny bit and realize there is a such thing called... "ADULTS". They can still act goofy but be responsible. Being an adult  while acting childish or "still in highschool rather", is no way to live.  There's a time to grow up. Unfortunetly, some never do. I'm so sorry this happened  to you. I know it's rough. I've been there a few times myself. And, remember, there are MANY reasons why a woman can have irregular periods. So rule out obese. You are FAR from it :)

[Joz002]

I had a friend like that once and all she ever did was bring me down. Years later she finally got the courage to explain her actions after years of torture and admitted that she was only jealous.

What you should do is not get too angry and upset about it. Show her that you are better.Like the saying goes " Keep your friends close to you and your enemies even closer"

So don't show her that it bothers you..... I know its difficult, but try

[misslollipop]

you know i have one best friend who knows everything and that's it cause i don't trust people very often, she seems like she is jealous of what u have

[smileluvr]

You were not wrong. At the end of the day, you have to keep yourself happy and upbeat. A true friend does not put you down in front of others but rather lifts you up when they see that things are not going well. Move on and keep in mind that your husband is your best friend now.

[CYW]

thats just really immature.. no one needs friends like that...just let her go...you are not obese for one...JEEZ...some people..

[Jame0223]

Girls are horrible? Why can't we be civil...it must not be in our nature! lol I have been harrassed by my own friends before too. All the way back to 5th grade. In 6th there was a new girl who was instantly popular in school. She befriended a lot of my friends and we all got invited to a sleep over at her house...little gig I know I was just going to be a ginea pig to them. First we went swimming...and there was a girl there that stole my goggles(lol i know) and I didn't even know her...then they played keep away. I got them back after we got out. Then we ordered in a bunch of stuff for dinner. Everyone discussed what we wanted but when the "hostess" realized she went over her budget she took what I wanted off the order. Then they decided they wanted to do facials...got out the kits and everything. They said they would do mine first. They smeared something all over my face and my face started to BURN like fire! I noticed it smelled really minty...I went to the bathroom and wiped it off....it was toothepaste...I cried in the bathroom...contemplating if I should call my mom to come get me. One of my friends got tired of how they were treating me and went home after the toothpaste thing. I stayed...but I shouldn't have. We went to sleep and the girl gave me this really comfy white down blanket to sleep on and cover up with. I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom to notice that I smelled horrible and took off my underwear to realize I had peed myself. I was so embarrassed. I go out of the bathroom to find the girl holding the blanket up and pointing it out going "EEWWW JAMIE DID YOU PEE!?!?" I was so embarassed, I just denied it because I never pee the bed! They kept telling me ITS YOUR PEE, then they went into the bathroom and pulled my underwear from the trash that I threw away and said "JAMIE THESE ARE YOURS YOU DID PEE!!" I started crying and called my mom right away. She came and got me and I told her everything. Her blood was boiling...The girls mom was upstairs the whole time but never came down to check on us or anything. One of the other girls (my "friend") who didn't take part in anything, but just sat back and watched told me later that they put my hand in warm water after I fell asleep...That was the most horrible experience ever and after that I never stayed the night at another girl's house...I tried but would never sleep and got sick to my stomach and went home at 4 am everytime...

I haven't been friends with any of those people since that year at school...They're in the back of my mind forever, but thankfully I dont get reminded of it very often. Its horrible to know that people you trusted would delibrately hurt your feelings like that. You should have stopped her and asked her why she was outing your problems and how she would feel if you would tell everyone about hers? Thats messed up and I'm glad you're okay and have pushed her away.You value your friendships but she doesn't deserve a companion like you girl! Were your friends! :)

[KStarr07]

Wow.. that's so mean and rude.. uncalled for and very juvenile. Sounds like some high-school cut down, and hunny you are NOT fat by any means of the word. And most especially, you are not OBESE. Your "friend" and her husband were both in the wrong 100% and it's good you're cutting ties with her.. who needs people like that around? If it were me, I'd probably have said more than that, but that's just me.

There are very few females who make good friends. And those very few are hard to find. I think all of us have learned that the hard way, unfortunately. I've no idea why we can't just be civil to one another. It does sound like jealousy.. But even I admittedly get jealous of other people, but I do not make cutting remarks such as that. I don't even speak that way to people I really dislike. How rude!!

[KStarr07]

And wow Jame, I just read all that.. That is insane. It made my stomach hurt with anger reading that.. I just hate people sometimes. Girls can be so catty and vicious. It's crazy.. Why would someone use someone's own personal feelings for their own entertainment? It's so cruel... Grrr.  If I were your mom then, I would have marched straight to her house and told her AND her irresponsible mother what for!!  I've heard of these type of 'games' being played at sleep overs on other girls.. But never known them to really happen. It's so evil!

[Gina209]

Aww Sherri, I'm so sorry you had to go through this! Seriously SCREW this biatch! No friend would ever...EVER behave like that. I agree with some of the other posters, she's jealous of you. Most hateful things are said from either anger or jealousy. And with girls, mostly jealousy! I still have some close girl friends (very few) because Joy is right..most of them are catty and back stabbers. Some of my old high school friends..all they did was talk about "who did this" and "who is pregnant" "who got fat" and it's soo freakin petty! Needless to say, my gal friends are far and few! I just prefer not to get involved or caught up in any of that nonsense/drama.
But its funny how the older you get, you truly find out who your friends are. I went through a similar situation (finding out who my friends really were) only months before my Wedding! It was awful and they put me through hell when I was trying to plan the most important day of my life...a lot of them totally turned their backs on me. I was in shock...and that was the day I knew I couldn't depend or trust on anyone but myself (and hubby) and sometimes your friends aren't who you thought they were. It's sad...but true. If you ever wanna hear the whole story, let me know! But I'm better off and so are you!! Let her plan her wedding/baby showers alone...she doesn't deserve a friend like you anyways!!

[Riot_Queen]

OMG WHAT A B*TCH!!!!

I've lost 2 of my dearest girl friends in the duration of this pregnancy due to people's selfish and immature nature.

I don't trust anyone but my family and a very FEW select friends.

I don't go out n hang out with people hardly anymore.
I don't bother making new friends.
I don't really even like to socialize with people that much anymore.

I pretty much just keep to myself.

Those 2 people that I mentioned stabbed me in the back in the worst ways a friend COULD.
And so I ain't fixin to have to go through that **** again!

My supposed "Best Girl Friend" named Nova... shows how f*ckin mature she was...
after I told her to f*ck off... she says to me, "I hope you have a horrible rest of your pregnancy. And if you baby comes out alive, I hope you have it taken away from you."

Yeah.
F*cked up, huh...

All because of I wasn't fixin to be her personal bank account.
I don't have "I'll buy whatever you want." and "I'll give you every cent I ever get." stamped all over my forehead.

And after I broke it off with her, she starts harrassing me, my mother, my fiance, his parents....
saying sh*t like, "They owe me." n ****.
Started making sh*t up about me in emails to my fiance's parents n what not.
Trying to make it so they won't let me come back, and they'll just come and get Josh and leave me behind.

It's been 2 months since that went down, and she's STILL talking sh*t ALLLLLLLL over her myspace about us.

People are so immature these days, and have nothing better to do with their time.

[iwannabemommy]

MYSPACE IS THE WORST PLACE EVER!! I FEEL YA ON THAT ONE! That's why I never go on there anymore. It's just an excuse to "act cooler" than you really are. Not saying it's ALL people lol. But, the ones who were on mine that I knew personally never acted the same in public as it stated in their about me's. Ahhh, Life with drama drama drama. That's not a life at all. Tsk Tsk hehe. I think myspace is a form of "highschool" for some. Crazy mess isn't it?!!

[Jame0223]

I agree! I feel like what happened to me belonged in a movie. My mom wanted to go into her house and talk to her mom but I just begged her to drive home...I just didn't want to be there anymore. I think she called her mother later and told her what happened but I doubt that she did anything to her...I will never forget those girls...I worked with the one that went home...she's the only one I ever talk to if I run into her. The hostess became this emo unpopular chick in high school lol and she always gave me this look whenever she saw me...like "thats the girl I tortured" look...

You wonder if these people ever regret what stupid things they do to hurt others? I couldn't ever do anything like that to another person...Even if it was someone I couldn't stand. You don't have someone come over with the rest of your friends just to make them the "entertainment" I hate to say that I was one of those girls, but hey...I am glad it was me and not someone else who could have been more affected by it ya know?

[shasy03]

You girls excuse me Women are GREAT!!!  You know how to make someone feel so much better.

Jame-I don't know how you did it.  I'm a very quiet person...I guess that's what you would call me.  I don't let my feeling show until I have had all that I can take.  I honestly get it from my mom.  She was 26 before she ever stood up for herself and even confronted her own mother.  If I was in your situation I would have just done the same thing by just calling my mom and leaving.  I have horror stories from cheer leading that are kinda like that one.  The bad thing is that one of the ones who was the worst to me ended up marrying my cousin!  We're okay now and she has apologized for everything but it's still in the back of my mind.

KStarr-thank you for your kind words.  I agree my dh has been telling me for awhile that she is just jealous.  So I'm leaving it there....I'm better than that to go and talk about the many things she is.   I don't get why women can not get along either.  I've NEVER been able to get along with other females really.  Maybe it's because I grew up around my brother and his friends.  I make friends easier with guys than I do girls..always have...but I miss having that one girlfriend that you can tell everything to.  The only reason I did not say more is because I was not at my house and Ben and Chris' mother was right beside me.  ( I call her momma because that's how I see her as my other mom.   The boys, the husband and I have been friends for like 6 years now.)  Out of respect for her and her house I did not say anything...that's why I just walked out the way I did.

Gina- you are the best!!!  I don't know what I would have done these last few months without you.  You have heard ALL my problems with this girl.  You even told me to get rid of her a long time ago but did I listen?? NO.  I figure she would change.  Ha...I was wrong.  I would really like to hear the story about your wedding.  You are one of the people I can talk to and actually enjoy every conversation.  (not that I don't with anyone else on here.)  Thanks for giving me the support I need right now.

Riot-What the hell was she thinking....the way the economy is you can't afford her and you.  Girls will be girls...especially immature ones.  I'm sure there will be stuff posted about me on myspace..but honestly I'm to the point I don't care.  I have my husband and I have my family...that's all that matters.  Good luck with your situation...I don't know how I would handle that.

Iwannabe- I agree completely.  I hate myspace.  I say I hate it but I check it almost everyday.  It's the only way to contact my cousins and friends I don't see anymore that are actually my friends...who care.

Sorry to get long with this post....but I'm done with her and she can apologize all she wants but enough is enough.  This is the 10th time in a year she has said something to hurt me.  I can do better than her and I have you guys so I don't need anyone else but my dh!  Oh yeah and a baby!! that would help!