Please give me advice..kinda OT, but still sorta pregnancy related!!

[ziggysgrl0724]

so I am really upset and I need some advice....its not about pregnancy health....but I guess my pregnancy caused the problem..can you tell me if you think im wrong?  OK, so I am a waitress part time at chilis....I havent been working for like 2 weeks cause of the spotting and problems and all that.  Well, my best friend also works there with me.  OK, so I had a dr app on tuesday, and thats when they ordered the ultrasound and bloodwork and all that.  My Dr said if it is possible for me to stay out of work till we know everything, she would rpefer a few more days to get results and let the spotting stop.  OK.  So, I was on the schedule for that following WED, but my managers knew I wasnt going in cause of a DR note, so they posted the shift for someone else to pick up.  I guess my best friend picked it up, but I didnt ask her to, she just did.  Whether or not she did it wouldnt have ben my problem, I wasnt going in till my dr released me.  SO anyway, I call my friend on tue after the ultrasound where I saw the heartbeat..she said  :" good, do you want your shift back tomorrow"...I told her I would see but the dr still wanted me to have a few days.  Well, she called me the next morning and asked me if I talked to my dr about releasing me so i could work the shift....I told her I was trying to get ahold of them, but I didnt wanna bother them too much because they had already done so much for me.  SO, long story short, I didnt end up getting the release, and I hadnt talked to my "best friend" since wed.  she texts me today and tells me how she is upset with me, because I am selfish and only think about myself...I think this is nuts, I am pregnant, going through hard times with it, and the last 2 weeks have been so hard on me...that my physical health comes before work.  She said if I was a friend, I wouldnt have had a problem bothering the dr to get a release, even though the doctor had told me the day before she didnt want me to go back.  we got in a fight because I honestly dont think im wrong here....as a friend shouldnt she understand that this whole thing is hard on me?  That yes I saw a heatbeat but the spotting was still going on, and that i was still at risk?  Anyway, I couldnt see her side, and she couldnt see mine, so she told me she is done being my friend, that I am too selfsih, and that she deserves better peopkle in her life....I am so upset...I really didnt need this right now, especially being amilitary wife, being serperated from family and friends back home,...i just wanna cry...

[JoyRenee]

Aw, hon! I'm so sorry!!! Obviously she has a few screws loose. Does she have children? If not, then there's no way she could understand. Honestly, why have someone around like that anyway? She's obviously not a very good friend at all.

[sfritz]

Sounds like she doesn't have any kids. She doesn't sound very mature and you shouldn't have to deal with stuff like that, especially right now! By the way I know how you feel with the bugging to doc thing. Mine has done a lot for me too. (I'm 19 weeks and going to have my fifth u/s on Thursday). Try not to let her bother you and take care of yourself!!

[Michele, Katy, TX]

You and your baby come first!  If she doesn't understand that, then SHE is the one that is not a true friend and YOU don't need people like that in your life (not the other way around).  Maybe you should consider not working at Chili's anymore anyway.  Maybe you could get a job somewhere sitting down (maybe in an office).  You may want to even try doing temp work since you are pregnant.  I don't know what your office skills are but you could always even be a receptionist.  Even if she doesn't have kids, I can't imagine someone not understanding your situation.  That is not a best friend.  I know your hormones are all over the place, but try not to worry about her.

[ziggysgrl0724]

thanks ladies...no, she doesnt have kids.....and I just cant believe how this situation makes me selfish....I guess it might be hormones...i told dh on the way home from sinner tonight I feel like im back at high school with people telling me they dont want to be my friend anymore....im 26, with 2 kids, and pregnant....but thanks for listening  to me, I really do appreciate it!

[mommy2b-nanny]

I had to post on this cuz it makes me so mad!! It's not even about her having kids or not, being immature or a good/bed friend. From what I read in your post, the bottom line is that your boss posted this shift for whoever to pick up. She picked it up for whatever reason. It's her responsibility now, not yours. For her to make you feel like you owe it to her, when you didn't even ask her, just makes me see read. Plus I'm 34 weeks pregnant so the hormones don't help either :)

I also hope that you feel better. Just hang in there and think of you and your baby!

[mommy2b-nanny]

I meant to say it makes me see "red" not "read". Oh and you can just tell her to buzz off, you don't need people like that in your life right now...Good Luck!

[natashalo8]

i agree with what everyone has said! you deserve better friends than that. don't let her attitude and behavior get you down...it's her problem not yours. if she didn't wanna work the shift she should have never picked it up in the first place. don't you just love those people who think everyone owes them something!!! *said in a very sarcastic voice*

[silver82]

Shes not a very good freind sweety and you dont need people like that in your life. You seem like a very genuine lovely person. Keep your head up high and keep strong. Please dont worry shes not worth it im sending lots of hugs and love. xxx

[shawnahass]

being a military wife is DAMN hard ive been one for only 4 yrs now but friends are few and far between.i had kinda the same thing happen i got pregnant she got jealous didnt talk to me forever and at the time i needed a friend then she got pregnant and expected me to go to every doc appt with her its funny how when the shoes on the other foot they expect you to be there..one day shell need you O WELL!!BABY comes first you need to just stay healthy and happy, she obviously doesnt care about your health and the health of your child...

[LosingMyMindInGA]

sounds to me like your friend has some issues to work on.  Is she possibly jealous of your pregnancy??  I know that sounds harsh but I think she was out of line.  I know it hurts being as she was a really good friend but while the agrument itself may not have been handled right you have done nothing wrong by taking time off to care for this pregnancy.  Give it time, let her stew for awhile.  She may realize how stupid and selfish SHE was being and apologize...if she doesn't then perhaps you could wait a week or two and bring it up to her.  Explain that while you don't really understand why she was so upset you are sorry that whatever it is has caused a rift.  That is IF you want to.  Try not to let this bother you so much.  Remember that while she may have been a good friend, this is your CHILD and this CHILD is so much more important than ANY friend.  

[MOM23ANGELS25F]

Awww *HUGE HUGS* Hon I am so sorry that your friend is being SELFISH herself!!! If she truly was your friend, she wouldn't have a problem with things,and she would be supportive! And not to mention she would be worried more about you and your baby, then having to work for you because you can't! I am so sorry.....  But, it sound's to me like you are doing the right thing, and that's good. You are worried about you and BABY and that's all that matters.... I hate to say it hon, but friend's will come and go.. Your baby, is your life! :-) *HUGS* I hope this helped and I hope things are ok with you and baby, keep us posted.

[ziggysgrl0724]

hey everyone, thanks so much for the kind words....I think she might be a little jealous for the simple fact that some guy she was living with has screwed her over, and she always says all she wants is my life (a husband and kids, etc).....but my point was, as others have said, she picked the shift up on her own, no one told her to, no one asked her to....if she didint someone else would have.....I talked to her again, she said that we wll be fine, but I need to work on being selfish...UGH, I dont think I am going to contact her again, if she tries to call/text me we will see...but she kinda made me feel like im a bad person, and I cant just act like I wanna change who I am so someone will like me....seriously,m im not in high school anymore!!