Please help me

Hi everyone, I'm praying SOMEONE can help me here. I am the mother of two wonderful babies and currently in school for nursing. I am also 14 weeks pregnant. I have had an addiction to pain killers for about 7 years now, I've tried the suboxone treatment twice in the last two years and relapsed. About 5 months ago a friend told me if I took methadone that I could quit vicodin and get clean, so I did. But being that I have a problem with opiates, I am now addicted to methadone. When I found out I was pregnant I tried to quit the methadone and started to miscarry and got really sick. I take 30-40 mgs a day. I get them from a friend, not a dr. or clinic. I am scared to death for three reasons, the first is for my unborn child, the second I am afraid if I go to my OB they will try to take my children away (they are my life I love them more than anything on earth), thirdly, my husbands ex works at the hospital where my OB works and she can sneek a peak at my records anytime. I cry everyday over all of this, I just need some help and don't know where to turn. I've read sub is not approved for pregnancy, so what should I do??? I live in Indiana and I don't know the protocol for things like this. Should I just try to quit on my own? I've tried to wean down but it's hard, my body starts aching 12-15 hours after taking a dose. I'm so scared and worried. Please help!!

(Please don't reply if you have any negative things to say, I know that I am terrible for doing this but I need and want to get clean more than you can possibly imagine, and if you want to judge me go ahead, but I promise it can't be worse than the way I feel about myself)

[ashiepooh]

Hmmm, ok I'd say talk to your doctor about it, because there is something he can prescribe that will help with that addiction.  They wont take your babies away if your trying to get help for this!  If YOUR WILLING to take the steps to get help, seriously talk to your doctor.  Tell him maybe you would really appreciate it if they didn't put it in your records, or something.  Some doctors are will to do that as well.  

I am going to go look for the info I had read on this the other day, I believe it may be in a book, and I will post back with the name of the medicine they use to prescribe for this addiction!  

[sweetangel7]

You should try to call a 'pain management' clinic...I know someone who was on pain killers after a medical situation...prescribed by their doc...but became addicted so they started to go to a pain management clinic that had doctors who specialized in addiction to pain killers...and safely weening people off.  I wouldn't quit on your own.  

Another thing to try is NARC ANON...I know methadone isn't a narcotic but I am sure that they may have resources to help you out and it is ANONYMOUS!  

You really do need to come clean with your ob...he/she will be able to guide you and make sure your unborn baby is as healthy as possible considering the situation.  

I wouldn't be too concerned about the ex wife...you can sue her for violation of your privacy/confidentiality if she peeks at your records and discloses info to you or anyone else.

Good luck!

[ashiepooh]

So I found it in the book, and it is methadone on a monitored dose.  That wont effect your baby.  However it's your doctor who have to tell you the amount.

Now I would do was sweetangel said, go to a pain management clinic and see if they can help you get off of it.

And it is a privacy/confidentiality breech if his ex wife does go and speak about your records!

[Kels123]

I am not sure what to say, but I can certainly pray for you and your family. I am sorry that you are going through this and I know it has to be hard. Just keep in mind of your family, and I hope you are able to get some sort of help. Good luck and you will be in my thoughts and prayers! Good luck sweetie, we are always here for you!

[indymommy]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I have been on the phone all day calling different places and haven't gotten much help. I guess it would be best to tell my OB, it's just so hard to tell them something like that while your pregnant. I appreciate no one judging me and being unkind. If anyone else has any experience with this please let me know, thanks again, I'm glad I found this site!!

[ashiepooh]

I know it's hard to tell your doctor that while your pregnant, but (s)he might be over the top happy that you are trying to confront an addiction!  They understand that things like this aren't easy!  I also understand why you would take them, I've been living in excrustiating pain for 9+ years now from herniated discs!  I however can't take anaything for it because I am allergic to it all!  I am having back surgery in Dec 2010 and hoping it fixes my problems!  I am glad your wanting to get help though, i've seen people who are addicted to far worse things, and they tell me....Admitting that you need help is the biggest step anyone can take, and i'm sure your doctor will appreciate it!  Keep us posted!!

[illsurvive]

you can switch the doctor for this pregnancy. who is completely unknown to anyone tell him everything.he will give you the answer.

[JoyRenee]

Well no one will be unkind here. We're not here to judge but to offer guidance and anyone who does put up harassing or vindictive words do get in trouble. So don't worry about that and please feel free to vent/post.

Now, onto your situation--- your OB will not take your children away. If you ask for help they will give it to you. But if your baby is born and found to have narcotics in their system, they will take your children away. It's best to get on some sort of program with your doctor and keep communication open.

Also, stop buying from your friend. You should always use a doctor's permission to do something because people will lace drugs with other things and they could be more harmful to your child than the methadone itself.

Keep your chin up! We're here to help and I hope you get the help and support from your doctor!

[onlyme27]

There is help out there for you.  Do not worry about your baby getting taken away.  As long as you and the baby do not have illegal drugs in your system, them you are OK.  I even have a friend that was preg and the baby did test positive for drugs at birth.  They didn't take the baby but did make the parents submit to regular drug screenings to proove that they had gotten clean.  Methodone is a hard additon to break.  Unless you are an extremely strong willed person  you will need help to get off of drugs completely.  Without help, you might quit the methodone but start something else.  I have fought drug addition in the past.  I am willing to talk to you about it and some of the steps you can take if want to PM me sometime.  We are all here to support you and not judge.  The first step is admitting the problem.  You have already done that.  Now lets try to get the problem treated. :)

[motherofan18month]

i agree with joy! my sil had been trying to ween herself off of drugs while she was pregnant, she didn't tell her OB that she needed help and when she went into the hospital for complications her blood test came back + for xanax and something else (cant remember) she ended up having to have a c-section the next day and my niece also tested +. they let her take her home but they did routine follow-ups with drug testing and visits to make sure her children were in a safe environment, and with that it scared her to take herself one step further quitting and she did and they are all fine now!! but yes there is help out there, dont be afraid to ask for it!! BEST OF LUCK!

[LauraB78]

I agree w. sweetangel and Joy.

I wish I had more words to offer but I think the ladies have already pointed you in the right direction in terms of where to start w/ help.

I wish you nothing but the best and please keep us posted!

[angelbaby1223]

You definitely have to tell your dr about what you're on. They can't take you off of it, it is actually more harmful to the baby while you're pregnant if you stopped taking it. Even weening off of it is stress on your unborn baby.
family services won't take away your kids as long as your dr knows and approves what you're on. However, they will if you don't tell the dr because they screen for all that when the babies born.
I agree with everyone on the ex... If she does that, you'll know because your ex will most definitely say something. She could be sued and lose her job, hopefully she's not that stupid, even if she is, he couldn't use that in court due to it being illegal!
I'm also pregnant and was taking perks and am now on suboxone. I'm almost 4 months... I take klonopin 2mg 2x's a day, and have been for 9 years, and they won't take me off due to the withdrawal and how it could cause a miscarriage. The suboxone I just started taking and plan on getting off in a week so I'm not on 2 addictive things.
I wish you the best of luck, if you ever wanna talk, I'm on facebook or e-mail me at . Take care!

[GreenEyedMama]

First off its great that you are admitting you need help! I work at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center for pregnant moms or just moms where they bring their children to stay with them. There are many places out there that you can go and bring your children with so that you don't have leave them. Opiates are one of the hardest things to get off. You can not do it alone and without medical help  ... You need a detox center with people certified in these situations.I wish you the best and hope you find what you need..

[GreenEyedMama]

please do not try to just stop on your own the withdrawals can kill you....

[mumstheword11]

I read your chapter on what your going through and i was wondering if you could give me some advice? im 35 wks preg. and have been addicted to morph. for the last 2 yrs.I know im a horrible person and ive been going down on the dose.now to finish and get off. i was gonna take some subs. that someone had givein me to finish getting off the morph. im soo scared to take it but i HAVE to get off the morph. for my baby. Can i swich over to help with the w/d while getting off the morph. without hurting the baby?...

[Ashelen]

Don't switch to subs, and don't stop the morphine. Immediately tell your OB. at this point you might put yourself into premature labor if you quit too abruptly, and sub is not considered the best thing to take while pregnant.

Your drug use WILL show up in your child's meconium. This will get you into trouble if your OB doesn't know about it first. You MUST be completely honest with your OB...they will also need to monitor your child after he/she is born to make sure there are no breathing problems or feeding problems from the morphine.

You will get in way more trouble if you do not honestly tell your OB about this drug use - you could even have the baby taken from you. However, if you are honest, your OB will help you either stop the morphine safely or monitor you throughout the rest of your pregnancy and make sure you and baby are healthy. You will likely be referred to a social worker, but this is standard and nothing to worry about.

Again..do not stop cold turkey, do not switch to subs. It is too late to quit and hope that your drug test will not show up positive - meconium can often show drug use from 10wks+ in pregnancy so you will show up positive no matter what if they test it, and they do that fairly routinely.

You MUST go to your Ob IMMEDIATELY for baby's health. getting in trouble would be a small price to pay to make sure your child is born healthy, and for the baby to be healthy your OB must know what to look for at birth. But on that note, you are not likely to get into legal trouble if you are honest now, but if you try to hide it and hope for the best and are caught (which is likely at this point) your troubles could be numerous.

Best of luck to you...I've spoken to more addicted mommies than I can count, and without exception every single one who told their OB was given help and support and delivered healthy happy babies. The ones who tried to hide it always had stories with sad endings...either they were in trouble, or the baby was taken from them, or the baby went through awful withdrawals after birth. You are too close to delivery to take any chances so PLEASE speak with your Ob TOMORROW.