Wow, is all I have to say...

As a lot of you know we have had some posts regarding abortion come onto this forum, yesterday after responding to one I reread my comment later and had realized I gone about it the complete wrong way, when I feel passionate about something somtimes my opinion gets the better of me and I should go about saying what I think in a different way, I was feeling very guilty for how I went about it, I even sent a private message apologizing for how I had gone about things.  Then this morning there was a post about how cruel some of the comments were that were left.. and how we have to miserable and how we do this and that to other women who choose to abort or not.. I am just in shock, my heart really is breaking.  I don't know if anyone feels the same way about this but I am deeply offended.  I apologized and realized I need to go about things a different way, but I also do not think anyone knows how hard it is for women to hear about abortions when they are soo desperately trying to conceive or when they do conceive and suffer a miscarriage, I believe it one of the hardest things women have to go through.. I know with my miscarriage I felt like my body betrayed me and I was soo crushed, I feel lucky to be given the oppertunity to be pregnant again and am almost 10 weeks and so desperately want to carry this baby to term and every day I struggle with worry, that post just really hit me the wrong way.. and if I offended anyone by this post I apologize.. I just had to get it off my chest..

[Shannon125]

Hey Danielle,
I jist want to say that I am on your side. I know how hard it is to lose a baby and I know how it is to get pregnant and not worry everyday. It upsets me when some people can get pregnant on a whim and then choose to do away with the pregnancy. Therefore, I know completely what you mean when you say that sometimes your passions and emotions get the best of you. You are human and should not feel bad about that, just so you know. I am now 13weeks 5 days pregnant and still every second worry about my baby being healthy. I just want to say that you will have a happy and healthy pregnancy and I wish you the best of luck.

[gokuangel]

im not pregnant right now but im definetly on ur side i hate everything about abortion i cant stand the thought that some1 else is gonna go kill their baby when i cant even conceive one!! ur said ur sorry for going bout things the wrong way so that post should not have been directed towards u i dont think.

[michelle148]

Yeah i know how you fell i feel the same about it all, like you i suffered a M/C and since then i have been desperate TTC again but so far no luck and its killing me and i do get very tearful when abortion is talked about on this forum as i would do anyting to have a baby yet some people dont even try and they get pregnant when some of us try eveything but with no luck,

[danielle72007]

Gokuangel - I didn't think the post was only directed to me, she said most of the women were post cruel comments, I had actually apoligized to the lady on another post that she had posted as well as the private message..

Michelle  - its very hard to suffer a miscarriage and I wish you luck with TTCing, hopefully your time will come soon!!

Shannon -  I am having so much trouble relaxing with this pregnancy, I thought that after I had my ultrasound and saw the baby and the heartbeat that I would relax a little bit but I only did for maybe a day and then it almost seemed worse... I hope that on my next appointment when I'll be around 12 1/2 weeks that they'll be able to pick up the heartbeat on the doppler so maybe I'll relax some, and hopefully I'll feel a little better when I'm out of the first Trimester

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I'm going to be completely honest here.  My profile says I've been pregnant 7 times...technically it's 8 and I don't admit to this very often.  At the age of 17 I let my mother talk me into having a 1st trimester abortion....being young, stupid and not knowing exactly what it was I had it done.  I have lived 12 years with the regret and same of what I have done.  THAT is why  *I* am so passionate about abortion.  I don't want to go around making decisions for other women, only they can do what they feel is best.  BUT I want to push the fact that these women need to be completely 100% educated about the process they are about to not only put their baby through, but their own bodies as well.  I have since gone on to have 3 beautiful, healthy children, I've had 2 m/c's and 1 full term stillborn.  I am currently 9 wks pregnant.  I have sat on both sides of this fence and it literally makes me ill at how casual the decision to abort has become.  Women make this decision with the light heartedness of choosing what color underwear to wear.  AFter 12 years I have not healed from that decision I made...one that I felt pressured to make...one that I had no information about.  Most women don't understand the reprocussions a decision like this can have on them.  

When I went to the free clinic here I got to talking with the nurse there.  Legally becuase they are government funded they have to provide information about ALL options including adoption and abortion.  However they try very hard to educate the girls and women into making a decision OTHER than abortion.  We don't even have a clinic that will perform one with in 2 hours of here.  The nurse admitted to me that she had one done many many years ago and it is now the reason she does what she does....just over the holidays she realized that she was distancing her living children becuase of the guilt she had from aborting one.  They even offer classes on healing after abortion.  It's not just some whimsical decision that make, do and forget about.  


It REALLY flares my temper when I hear about women who have not had just one...but 2, 3 even 8 abortions.  Ok, I'll step down off my soap box now.

[kirby26]

I worked with a girl a few years ago that has had soooo many abortions she cant even count.. (she has one child).. she is not on bc and is still with the same guy (all pregnancys have been with him).. she uses getting an abortion as a form of bc. it just doesnt make sense to me??

[danielle72007]

I sent you a private message, I felt like it was more appropriate to continue that part of the conversation privately.  Hopefully I'll hear from you soon!

[altavista]

Yes, it is quite sad!!

I think since 'the pill after the day of Rape' has come out, I see no reasons for abortions!! The rest need to take responsibility for their actions.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I returned the favor :)

[MomNpain]

5 years ago, I walked into my mother's bedroom to find her bawling harder than I have ever seen anyone cry in my entire life. She was curled up in the bed with 3 bottles of pills and a glass of water on the night stand next to her. I asked her what was wrong, but she wasn't sure I'd understand, so all she said was "I just made the most horrible mistake of my life."

We didn't speak of that day, or any of the days and nights thereafter where I would find her crying, with those same pill bottles laying beside her until 3 years later. We were talking, laughing, having a good time and then everything became quiet. I don't know why I did it, but I asked my mom to explain to me what had happened that day and why it bothered her for so long. She took my hand but refused to look me in the eyes.  I couldn't imagine what she might have done to make her feel this way - something THAT horrible. After a few moments, she finally told me what she had done. She had had an abortion. She was 14 weeks pregnant with twin girls. She had contemplated killing herself, and even tried that night 3 years before.

When I found out that I was pregnant in October, she was the very first person I called. I was so scared of EVERYTHING. I'd grown up raising my siblings and other people's kids my entire life. I had just gotten away from it just a few months before and not once did I ever think about ever having children of my own. I was crying so hard that I puked on myself while on the phone with her. Abortion never once was an option in my mind, but I wasn't sure what I was going to do. After listening to her laughing, yelling, jumping up and down (which is hard for my mother because she's had 7 major back surgeries) she finally got me to settle down. She said "Chels', I know you're scared, but do you remember that day 5 years ago? Do you remember what I told you that day you asked me what was wrong? Don't put yourself through that. You will regret it every single day of your life." At that moment, I stopped crying and everything was right in the world. I was still scared sh*tless, but everything was okay, and I knew that it would stay that way.

Here I am, 14 weeks pregnant tomorrow and I have never been happier in my entire life. My pregnancy is going well and my relationship with my mother has grown so incredibly much. I couldn't and don't want to imagine life any other way.

I'm pro-life and I AM NOT miserable in the least bit. The reason I'm so passionate about this subject is because I know that any mother, or mother to be that has ever gone through with an abortion has felt at least a little bit of what my mother felt that day and those nights for so long thereafter. I feel that what needs to be known is that there ARE other options. Adoption being one of them.

I also know of a 24 year old stripper that had just had liposuction (she was in a size 5 when she had it) found out she was pregnant 2 months later and decided to abort so she wouldn't mess up her new body. People that make that type of decision for such a stupid reason should be punished in my mind.

My husband is home for lunch so I have to go for now but I'll be back in a little bit to finish.

[luv2bmommy]

i sometimes get carried away with my emotions too and abortion is a touchy subject for me but after reading some of the posts i realized that some of these girls are young (which i know is no excuse! i became pregnant at 16) and may not have a lot of ppl to talk to, ppl to tell them its going to be ok, or they want to help, or you can do it. i know when i first found out i couldnt talk to my parents, my boyfriend (now husband) was freaking out and wasnt very optimistic about it. i didnt know what in the world was going to happen, in fact my first diaper to change was my daughters! lol i felt alone and scared and i remember all these emotions clearly, i needed to get them out but my husband didnt want to talk about it and i couldnt tell anyone else. but instead of abortion because ive never believed in that, i just thought if i ignored it it would go away! CRAZY i know, but i was young and reality wasnt something i had to face head on until that time. maybe all these girls need is a little information, inspirational stories, and encouragement. i mean if they are questioning it they are obviously reaching their hands out for help, an answer. if they were just promiscuous dirt bags they would have just gone and gotten one without without a seconds thought. i dont agree with abortion, but whenever someone is lost, you should help them find their way. if we dont then what kind of world are we bringing our children into?

[JoyRenee]

Ladies, those are exactly the kinds of stories we should be sharing! And I'm so sorry for the heartache you and your families have been through! What a testimony that is to help a young, scared girl!

[nikisinki]

i dont know if you are talking about me and how i replied about how mean the women were being to one of the girls asking for advice, but i did speak (or write, lol) my piece of mind because i was very VERY upset with how some women wrote to her, so if i made u upset, i am deeply sorry as well. i do not know if it is the stress of my huuby and i trying to get prego lately and me thinking i was and waking up this morning, yet again, to havin my period, so ive been crying most of the day and moody, but that is no reason for me to hurt other's feelings. but anyway, i had put myself in that young girls shoes, because i had had an abortion in my past when i was younger and now that i want to get pregnant, i feel that maybe im being punished from god or something because of what i had done in my past, because we have been trying for so long, and nothing's working, and besides that, i feel guilty because most of my friends have been having babies and when i go to see them, i feel angry towards them because they were able to have a baby and i cant get pregnant, and to top it off, i had a miscarraige (miscarriage) last year in february, so i dont know if you understand, but i do apologize for hurting your feelings if i did., please accept.   all the best, nicole

[LosingMyMindInGA]

You're comment about wondering if you were being punished. You have NO IDEA how normal it is to feel that way.  I, too, had those same feelings, not with my first m/c becuase I had blocked out the abortion in my past...but with my first son who was full term and stillborn...those thoughts ran rampant through my head.  In talking with the nurse at the women's clinic here, the one who had an abortion years ago...she too had those feelings and said that she has talked to MANY women post abortion who have felt that way.

[smc1975]

Im sure I am one of the "mean women" who posted and my comment wasnt liked but it is so hard to hear these women come on here and ask about abortion due to many factors with my own pregnancy and some one I love dearly not able to conceive, so I wont apoligize for my comments, If your old enough to have sex then your old enough to face the consequences.

[nikisinki]

you dont need to apologize for your comment, but i wanted to apologize for what i had written, so i do not feel bad for what i had written, but i do know tha ti was wrong, and that is why i want to apologize, because i knew i was in the wrong, i do know what it feels like to be in stress and thinking im pregnant and than waking up to having my period., youknow somethign, when people are young, they do not think about getting pregnant SOMETIMES and thats something that nobody can change, so people do what they choose and this is something that im coming to learn.

[lmrsoldier]

I would also like to apologize if I offended anyone with my mean comments, because I fired right back....I have no problems getting pregnant, and I've never been ready for any of my kids...this one is coming March 6, and I'm STILL not ready! It hurts me to see these beautiful women here suffering because they want to give a child a life, and have that blessing, and they can't. Then someone comes on, gets ALL kinds of advice from these same women, and turns around and says they're gonna do it anyway. I just felt the least that girl could've done, was not come back on here and say anything, just leave it alone, ya know??
I'm extrememly happy that we were able to help sway the one girl on here, tho, and I guess that's what we should focus on, and not the ones that offend us with going thru with it.
So, again, I apologize if some of the comments that were offensive were mine, and will definitely try to keep my emotions in check next time...although it's getting difficult at this point in my pregnancy!! lol

[lmrsoldier]

I just wanted to say sorry to everyone for not reading Law's post from earlier to realize that's who everyone was talking about!! lol  I really thought we were talking about the other one that got real rotten with us all for chastising her.....boy it pays to read first!! lol   But, I see that it's all worked out for the good, and I'm glad that everyone was able to help someone do that!!

[Shell24]

Please see this web site - anyone considering an abortion.......it may change you're mind. Please keep in mind that some of the pictures are graphic...I will admit that I'm completely against abortion.....except for very extreme circumstances.


www.priestsforlife.org/ultrasound.html