find our the sex vs. not finding out the sex

[tobbeyj]

So hubby and I for the last 4 months have been wanting to know the sex of our little bundle. Our ultrasound is next week and is 3D. I will be 20 weeks at this time. I went through a few days that I not longer wanted to know the sex but thought that hubby would not go for this. Low and behold, he is onboard and now that the date is approaching - I wanna know soooo bad....but then again I dont. UGH!  What have you guys chosen to do??

Here are some pros and cons for finding out and not finding out...

Finding out :

- easy to plan
- can buy appropriate coloured items.
- can choose a name
- Family will already know what baby is and it wont be as exciting to call them

Not finding out :

- Best surprise ever  (so we say)
- Might make labour somewhat enjoyable
- Gender neutral clothing are not as cute - but then again we can use them with our next baby :)
- Excited to keep ppl on the fence

Anyone have anything to add?
-

[bluegenie2003]

I'm finding out what we're having, but I'm not a big fan of gender neutral bedding and stuff. I've had my bedding picked out for over a year (since we started ttc) and the girl one is ALL girl, and the boy one is ALL boy! We might keep it a suprise for our second, but for this one we want to know :-)

[Limonada]

This is a very personal decision, so I'll be careful what I say ;-)

We chose not to find out with our first and it was an AMAZING surprise....to still be guessing up until the very last minute.  And, while it was a bit of a drag to have to select unisex items, it didn't really matter:  we had a boy and got lots of "boy appropriate" items when he was here.  

This time, we tried to find out....and the baby didn't cooperate!  So, we're in the same boat but, despite some initial disappointment about not being able to find out, we're actually enjoying the surprise of it all again.  And, because we have a lot of gender neutral things from when we were expecting DS, we have plenty of clothes.

Clearly, I'm biased - I think not knowing is really wonderful - but you and DH have to do what feels right to you.  

Good luck making your decision :-))

[lmk26]

i didnt find out on either of my children and am not finding out on this pregnancy either.

the not knowing is so exciting and as u said yourself all the family is a lot more excited. my family do be hanging on the end of the phone when i am in labor wanting to know if it is a boy or a girl.

as for the gender neutrel clothes, i personnally think u can get some nice pieces and as limonda said u get loads of colour appropriate clothes.

another thing is they arent always sure about the sex. last thing u want is a room full of pink stuff and then have a boy.

i hope u make a decision that u and dh are happy with :)

[happy_mommy]

I found out what i was having, I knew if i didn't I would have called the doctor the next day to find the sex out.

A lot of my friends didn't find out the sex and said it was the most wonderful surprise ever!  (and even at her baby shower people guessed what it not being a she was and she still got girl clothes)  If i didn't find out my sister was going to buy me boy stuff because she felt he looked like a boy in like his 9 week scan. She was right.

It is such a personal decision and im sure whatever decision you make you will be thrilled.

[ernie13]

I am about a week behind you and we have decided not to find out. DH is actually the one who feels strongly about not finding out, but I think it will be a great surprise in the end. All of my friends who waited said it's totally worth it. As much as I would love to go buy all pink or blue, everyone has told me to stay neutral in case of another baby with different gender. It makes sense to buy neutral, so you have everything for the next baby(ies). It's been really hard not finding out, but I figure I've made it half way already, whats a little bit more time?? We are going for the gender ultrasound Thurs, and its going to be really hard to say no when they ask. I already have the baby bedding, so I can't turn back now. I went with brown and white circles, so pink or blue could be added later and look great.

[tobbeyj]

Hang in there ernie - I also have my gender ultrasound on Thurs. We are also having complications with the heart beat so knowing that everything is ok with that will hopefully be enough to make the ultrasound a special one....not that it would not be.

Another thing that makes me laugh is that my hubby thinks that labour and delivery is kinda gross - I am not sure he will not pass out while in the room LOL - But I know if we leave it a surprise he will not take his eyes off me while baby is coming....the more gross it is for him - the more pleasure I will have watching his facial reaction etc. He can be pretty funny.

I like the comment about having the whole family wait by the phone - hehe as selfish as that may sound I cant wait to hear their reactions...

I also like the whole guessing thing - I thought it was anooying a first but now I think its hilarious that some ppl are sooo convinced its one sex and others the other....LOL

Our bedding and nursery is green and brown and the theme is monkeys - so pretty gender neutral. Not worried in that dept since I will have the rest of its life to buy pink or blue :)

I love this topic - thank you ladies for sharing your thoughts and experiences. :)  I cant wait to see my little bundles face in the ultrasound and cross my fingers that its little heart is fine and healthy. :)

[jongkolkhoo]

hi,

i think it should be ok to find out if it's  boy or girl before hand.
if it's a he , he will not change to be a she. So why wait ?
What do people get from the guessing game? You would be equaly as haPPY whether your baby is a boy or girl when you first hold he/she.

The choice is yours to know or not to know in advance. There is no right or wrong.
Unless it's about choosing your baby's sex then that's a totally different thing.

Cheers
p.s.- I had the privilage to choose my baby's sex but I refuse to.

[Sasha80]

I never found out with both our girls.  Best choice for us that's for sure.  More surprises to look forward to in the end.  Made pushing that much more enjoyable (for me anyway).  My sister found out with my nephew and she was kinda disappointed that she found out earlier because it wasn't a surprise at the end.  She is now due in May with #2 and she will not be finding out the gender this time around.  She doesn't really have to prepare as she has boys clothes and I have all the girls plus all the toys etc.  She is good to go either way.

[Sasha80]

Oh ya forgot to mention that our good friends "found out the gender" with their second.  Were told the baby was a boy but baby was born a girl.  They had prepared for a boy.  In the end it's up to you.  Good luck and I am sure that you will be happy with any decision that you make.  

[tobbeyj]

jongkolkhoo  - I am just wondering how you could have "chosen" the gender of your child? I have never heard of this.

[Victoria01]

Like the others have said, it's a personal decision, but DH and I have decided to find out. We go for out level 2 ultrasound tomorrow morning, so we'll know then. :)

[JillyHemp316]

I love this topic! Thank you ladies. I'm not very far along but I'm still so interested in all of this. I have no idea whether I wanna find out or not. My husband and I haven't even thought about it yet. I am going to buy gender nuetral things, because I'm not a pinky girl. I'm a blue girl. So if I have a girl I don't want her to be stuck with the stereotypes. I'm excited, either way.

[motherof1boy]

I did not find out the sex of my baby...my family was on my case ALL the time. It was more annoying for them than it was for me. One thing I noticed...my friend was pregnant at the same time with a girl. She told everyone...at the shower she got all girl clothes! She had to buy all the essentials herself. At my shower I got ALL the essentials and more. I got diapers galore, and bottles, sheets, all kinds of useful stuff. I think that when you know you are more likely to get clothing...just an interesting observation, don't know if it's true.

[kerriekab]

Ok so what you need to do is to get ur U/S tech to write down the sex and put it in an envelope. Then give it to someone you trust to keep. Then if u want to find out they can tell you. Also you can go shopping with them and pick out things you like for a girl or boy. Then give that person the money and they can buy all the things for you and that way it will be a huge surprise and you will have gender specific things!

[tobbeyj]

UPDATE!!!


Had our ultrasound today - told the tech we did not want her to tell us but asked her not to be super discrete about it for the vidoe and the pics. If you ladies want to take a peek at my pics - I have posted in between the legs. Let me know what you think....unfortunately we cannot confirm for a few months though :)