i know its wrong

I'm about 19 weeks pregnant and I don't want the baby. I have a 3 year old son and I don't want any more. I'm very unhappy with my life and I'm afraid I'm depressed. How do I go about stopping the pregnancy?

[Hales20]

Im afraid you would have to speak to your doctor/Ob -gyn about this one.

I would take your baby if i could!!! Im waiting for my BFP - lets hope its this month!

I hope it all gets sorted out.

Maybe you should seek guidance through a counsellor and speak to your doctor.

Can i ask why you have kept the baby for 19 weeks and now dont want it?

You can PM me at anytime if you want to talk!!

[alaysha]

At this point in the pregnancy almost no doctor is going to risk aborting the baby since it could hurt you as well. Also I know that all doctors stop giving them at 22 weeks and by now its probably going to cost you a couple thousand dollars to get that kinda operation. Have you thought about adoption? If you've gotten this far along dont you think that maybe the only fair thing to do is give the baby a chance to actually survive. I know that a lot of people who adopt children will actually pay all of your medical expenses and help you with money and things while you are pregnant.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

My first suggestion is to find a ministry based womens clinic in your area (NOT planned parenthood...too many women have had severe problems with them)  Talk to someone there about your options.  You may also want to go to your local mental health department.  If you are depressed that is the FIRST thing you should address, for the sakes of YOU, your 3 yo AND this unborn child.  If you want more information or would like to talk, send me a private message....you may also send one to JoyRenee, she has some good resources for situations like this.  One thing I urge you to do is educate yourself on ALL of your options, on what is involved BEFORE you make a decision.  Otherwise you may come to regret your decision later in life.

[bioclock1]

first of all, i want to commend you for acknowledging that you aren't in the best place in your life for another child. If you decide to keep your baby, have faith that everything will work out. LIke mentioned above, there are a million services out there for mothers who cannot afford to take care of their children. personally, i think adoptions is a huge act of love by the biological mother. There are so many ppl who want a child and can't have one and often these people pay for all medical expenses and sometimes even boarding for the mother so that she can take care of the unborn child. I would talk to someone who knows about what you're going through. Try looking in the yellow pages or doing an internet search. You aren't alone, there are hundreds and thousands of women who go through this and everything WILL be okay!
Good luck, God bless!

[hanacabana]

Not to judge or anything but just so you know all your options...
Babies have survived at as early as 21 weeks before. Infact on this very sight there is a woman that had her baby at just 24 weeks, thats only five weeks ahead of you. Please consider the gravity of the act before you do this. Your baby can already hear you and some tests prove that he/she can recognise you as its mother and can feel pain. The baby is fully formed just getting bigger and maturing its organs. I suggest you have a look at the adoption community or even the fertility community and know how much this baby is a pure blessing. A living, moving, functioning learning baby that many women would sell their soul to carry. Please just think of them before mking any rash desicion that will drastically effect your life and (obviously) the life of your baby. Its not his/her fault he/she wasnt wanted.

[prayerful wife]

I want to say thank you ladies for responding to this young lady with compassion and understanding.  We havent always been the nicest girls on this forum when it comes to a topic such as this, but it's great to see how we have all grown together and have learned to accept everyone's choices whether we agree or not.

Sweetie they've given you some great advice, at this point it's up to you to decide whats your best option!

[michelle148]

I totally agree with Prayful wife. Us ladies have been known to jump down peoples throats and hurl abuse which may have caused distress to others on the receiving end so it is nice to see so much help and support is being offered to everyone regardless of their situation.

[kodarose]

i want to be pregnant but i am only 15

[Juana824]

Seek God.

[LauraB78]

I agree with losingmymindinVA, you should definitely explore ALL options and see what is the best fit for you. You definitely need to take care of you, and figure out what's going on if in fact you are depressed.

I wish you all the luck in the world, and message me anytime if you want to talk more privately.

[Kim1989]

kodarose-  why do you want to get pregnant at 15. you should be in school having fun and enjoying having freedom.

to the orginal poster- your 19 weeks. if you didnt want a baby one would have thought you would have known that from jump street and not wait until 1 week shy of half way there. being scarred and being depressed is more than likely your biggest problem right now and you should seek help. and there are PLENY of woem, men, and familys that would love to adopt a baby. im not for abortions and at this stage it can be very harmful to you. good luck to you

[JoyRenee]

Hey girl! You know lots of women get in that position as well, where they feel depressed and feel as though they're not cut out to be a good mom. You need to address your depression FIRST. I know it's hard, but it's important for you to tell your OBGYN as they can make referrals and recommendations. Plus, they need to know, it's part of their job.

When you deal with that depression, you may find that your desire to terminate the pregnancy was because of your sadness and you may find that you still want your baby! How awful to get rid of the baby only to find out later that you regret it.

And as many other women have suggested, adoption is a wonderful option. I know a lot of women would prefer abortion over adoption, but honestly abortion is the worse of the two. You're stopping a beating heart and you'll have to live with that forever.

Please look at all of your option, get help, and THEN decide what you're going to do! Please message me any time if you want to chat or vent.

[FEOT]

The best advice ive read so far is….Look for help (someone to talk to), seek “GOD”.

Honestly I would probably be the one that would be telling you how could you even thing of something like that but im not going to. After 6 years of trying to get pregnant and actually make it past 12 weeks has finally happened. Im 18 weeks tomorrow and finally my dream came true. There are so many couples out there trying to have at least one child and they can’t. If you can’t take care of the baby for whatever reason I would look into putting the baby up for adoption. You would make someone else very, very happy. Or maybe by talking to someone you might change your mind. A child should be a blessing not a burden. If it’s going to be burden for you let it be a blessing for someone else. I hope you can figure everything out and I hope this baby can be a blessing if not for you for someone else. Take care. You are in my prayers. Good luck.

[evthing4reason]

are you really ready to go through that ordeal? i don't think at 19 weeks it is like a normal abortion, i "think" that you would actually have to give birth to the baby. There are so many lovely families that want a baby, especially a newborn, and you can choose how much you are a part of the babies life...no contact at all, letters and pictures or you can be a part of the families life. I think that adoption is one of the most selfless acts, i only wish i could thank my biological mother for making that choice

[sameerab]

you defintely need to seek some professional help they can better help you with what you are going through..there are plenty of women who cant have kids who would love a newborn but you may want to seriously think about your options first...19 weeks and an abortion will further send you into depression i was only 10 weeks when i aborted my first child and thats something that i will never get over!! even though im having another child there is still a void in my heart that i can never fill so i advise you seek some psychological help..because if your depressed and your life is not going well how are you raising your other child?? if you tell me what town and state your in i will look up some things for you just pm me

[Marcus's Mommy]

go get help with your depression

abortion isn't even an option at this point and shouldn't be, adoption is a great option

babies even at 8 weeks and less can feel pain, life is precious at any stage

i'm not judging you, that is not my place

but Depression is real and needs real attention, killing a baby will only increase depression, it is never a solution.

it will forever change your life

(this is the kindest I can be about abortion, please don't attack me for it)

[FEOT]

My hubby said we will take your baby!!!

[KStarr07]

*bump* looking for response from OP?
Did you figure out what you may do? Are you going to go and find help?

[JoyRenee]

Marcus' Mommy, what you said was worded beautifully. Don't worry! I don't think anyone will attack you.

I'm also interested to hear back from you, turbo!

[michelle148]

Lets hope the reason why there has been no response for a while is because shes seeking advise and help.

[KStarr07]

BUMP *  ??