what do you think about newborns sleeping in bed w/you?

[betty12]

so i was just curious if you girls are who are now pregnant or are already parents think its ok for your newborn to sleep in bed with you?im asking beacuse although i have a nursery set up with crib and a bassinet in my room i dont know what i should do because today when i went to target i saw this really cute secure sleeper thing you put in your bed and set your baby in there...i wanted to buy it but i wanted everyones opinions on this.

[BTS1022]

I honestly think it's okay for a very very short term basis, maybe the first 3 months if that. I also think that it becomes a dependancy for both mom and baby sometimes, and that a lot of dads may feel a bit left out because it def. makes *private time* even less private. It is bad enough that Hubby has a baby in the room and that cuts down on private time, but imagine having th baby in the bed.

I know I would never ever sleep with my baby even with a co sleeper. What happens if a pillow is accidently thrown or tossed ontop of baby and you dont realize it, or if your significant other is like mine, that makes it a bigger no no. My dh tosses and turns and does a lot of things in his sleep that would not make it safe for a baby period, no matter what we put baby in.

But my main issue is having it be a dependancy for myself or my baby. It's like having shared a bed with DH for 5 years, and one night he isn't home, it is very very unnatural feeling and I cannot sleep, I had this issue with my youngest son, and before I knew it I had a HUGE issue on my hands with the both of us. He wouldnt sleep alone, and I couldnt sleep without him, I had to actually by a baby doll to help me cope. It was bad.

Just make sure if your wantig to do this, get DH's opinion on it aswell, he may feel as if he is being replaced as a bed partner lol.

[Babybaw4]

I am sure its ok if your taking a np or something but. Dont do it. nor for any reason. My sister did that with my nephew he is 12-now and still I  mean still sleeps with her, he has his own bed and room and he is not broken from it.

[amy0013]

I don't think there is anything "wrong" with people who choose to co-sleep (aside from the dangers).  My biggest concern is developing a habit that can't be broken.  My best friend had a baby who was a wonderful sleeper until 6 mos old when she got sick.  They were ALL exhausted so they put her in bed with them.  Two years later they are all still there!  She wants to break the habit but doesn't want the fight.  I had to laugh, Babybaw, when you said your nephew is 12 and still in bed because my friend keeps saying "It's NOT like I'll have a 12 year old in bed with me".  LOL!  She better watch what she says!

We put a twin bed in my daughter's room and during those first few weeks when I was still home with her but DH went back to work I slept in her room so I could hear her, feed her, and put her back to sleep without disturbing him.  Once we were both off for the summer (teachers!) I went back to our bed and we shared the responsibility.  

Soooooo, just be willing to make it SHORT LIVED if this is something you are considering it or you might have a MUCH harder time down the road breaking the 'habit'.  

[browneyedmama]

i dont recommend it at all. my niece slept with my sister when she was a baby... and she is now 3 and STILL sleeps with her!  its a very hard habit to break.  when my daughter was a baby... the only time she slept with me was the occasional nap. i bet she never slept with me more then 10 times.
its nice cuz its handier and it would make you feel more at ease... but its such a bad habit...when my baby is born... it will be in the crib from day 1.

[shadowserpent]

best thing to do if you feel you want the baby that close is grab that bassinet and put it right next to the bed! it really is hard to stop them sleeping with you after youve started! and not just for the kid... you get used to it too, and it feels like heartbreaking when your used to that soft little cuddlly one in the bed with you then hes gone!
my son slept with me for about 6 months and then i moved him to his crib, but at first i used a bassinet and it was just as good as having him there but without the dependancy issues!

[JoyRenee]

I've done both. This is my experience with co-sleeping. My first baby is a very sensitive person. She had to be held constantly, I couldn't put her down to cook, clean, or even use the restroom. When I put her in her crib for naps/bedtime she'd scream and cry for hours, to the point she was hyperventilating, and I do NOT agree with the "crying it out" methods so it just wasn't working.

So we co-slept and it worked for us! She was in our bed until she was about 10-11 months old. She started getting too big and uncomfortable sleeping in the crook of my arm so I started to wean her from our bed. Because she was older, she had a better understanding of "her own room" and "her own bed" and that we were down the hall.

I started putting her in the crib for naps. She did WONDERFUL! And then I did it for bedtime and that was it... When she was 19-months-old she got a twin bed (early for kids to be out of the crib) and she did fantastic.

My second baby put herself to sleep in her crib, through the night, at 2 months old. She hates being coddled, cuddled, restrained (like wrapped in a blanket or hugged). She is 17 months old now and still sleeps in her own bed, in her own room still.

My toddler DOES come into our room into the morning for morning cuddles. But that's it. Every now and then I let her sleep with me, on my OWN terms.

All of that to say--- wait and see what your baby is like. Some babies are more sensitive and NEED you more (nothing wrong with that, you CANNOT spoil a baby) and others are fine on their own! I think the bassinet will suffice for now. If you find your baby is similar to my oldest daughter, then invest in the co-sleeper!

[JoyRenee]

I want to add another thing--- it can also be difficult to wean a child from the bed, as the other ladies have said. If it's something you think you can handle, then go for it! My daughter just had to do things in her own time and then she does beautifully.

[Jackie117]

My grandma raised me and I co-slept with her until I was 13. Then  moved with my mom and slept with my sister until I was 16. It's a hard habbit to break because I was so used to sleeping with someone. Now I can't sleep without my husband... LOL But hey I did it with my oldest and at 6 monthns she was in her own crib sleeping alone. All my other kids slept in their cribs. My 3 week old only naps with me. But hey if you want to co-sleep and it works out for you I say go for it.But like everyone else said it might be a hard habbit to break. I shoud know.

[mary345]

i wouldn't recommend it mainly because it is very hard to break them of it i had my son sleep with me and now he is 5 and finally sleeps in his own bed and my daughter is 18 months old and slept with me in my bed for a while mainly because of space we had to move back in with my my parents for a little bit and well we had a very hard time getting her to sleep in her own bed and my new baby girl who is 7 weeks old never slept in the bed with us and she will fall asleep in her bassinet all by her self all you have to do is swaddle her and put a pacifier in her mouth and she falls asleep it took a while for my other kids to learn how to fall asleep with out me.

[Jary08]

my mum did that with me because it was the only way i would sleep :)

So id say its ok for a little while cause long term is hard to break.

[katebud]

This may be a little off subject, but I'm scared to sleep with a newborn baby, b/c parent roll overs cause most cases of infant death and SIDS.  A newborn can't wiggle out of the way of a heavy adult, like a toddler may be able to.  
It sounds like all of you other ladies do well though, and I know there are lots of little beds that fit on the big bed that help to minimize adult roll overs.  

I guess I'm just paranoid.  :P  lol

[Jary08]

The midwives told that to my mum but she kept me in between two pillows or cusions and so it would have been harder for her to roll over on me.

Im guessing it worked lol...im still here!

[jesslee83]

alex will be in the bed with me for naps, but dh is a crazy sleeper and i trust him, as i saw with my nephew at 6wks, chris actually sleeps ALOT lighter with a kid in the bed....but he will have a pack-n-play, and will only be in our room the 1st 4-6weeks, so i can get to know his sleeping and eating schedule, then it's off to his room which is across from us.....

[JoyRenee]

katebud they also make these sleepers that attach to the side of the bed! Definitely for babies that aren't mobile, though, or they'd climb right out and hit their noggins!