who could be the father of my child

[lala1009]

I have been married for 2 years but the last couple of months have been rough with my husband and he just completely changed and ignored me. I started to get depressed and found myself very lonely. So I decided to just keep myself busy goin to the gym or just out with friends instead and in the process  a guy friend of mine and I got close I guess he had gone through somethin similar with his xwife.. but anyways long story short I ended up sleepin with him twice on october 7th and october 10th. but in between i also did sleep with my husband on october 4th, 5th and 6th. also on the 9th. My period began on around the  night of the 24th and i ended my spot bleedin on the 28th goin on to the 29th of october.. so now I found out that im pregnant and me and my husband are doing fine and im scared and dont know what to do... the dr says its a close call and he doesnt know who could be the father,...any opinions please

[Grandmatobe]

When did you test positive for the pregnancy?  It would be almost impossible to know who the father is in this situation.  Since you appeared to have bleeding for 4 days, I would be inclined to have the doctor run two blood tests, two days apart, and see if your hormone levels are rising appropriately.  It's possible you got a positive test, but with the bleeding, you may have had a chemical pregnancy, hence the bleeding.  I would definitely want to know if my levels were doubling, before getting too stressed out about this other issue.  Make sure it is a good viable pregnancy first, and then wait to have a DNA test to determine paternity.

[lala1009]

hi, thanks for answering.. well i got my first sonogram done today 11/4/09 and he said it was too early to determine how many weeks i was... i go back on 2 weeks.. i deft want to keep my baby regardless of the father but its just so hard to figure out what to do...

[Grandmatobe]

Did you take a home pregnancy test or a blood test at the doctor's office?

[Grandmatobe]

And, when was your last period prior to October 24th?

[lala1009]

i took the home test yesterday, and today i had the blood work done and they showed me my nugget on the sonogram...

[Grandmatobe]

Make sure they take another blood test on Friday, so they can compare the results.  Your hcg should double between today and Friday.  Let us know the numbers when you get today's results, ok?

[lala1009]

well my last period was sept 24th -29

[lala1009]

im a littlbe bit confused.. im so new to this.. and i feel stupid asking but why should i have them take blood work again.. and what would this process do to help me figure out.

[spade22]

I agree with your doctor.  It could be either mans child.  Sorry.

[Quinns momma]

It can be either mans child esp since you slept with both of them in the same time frame. You will need a paternity test.

[Grandmatobe]

I thought you had your period October 24th, not September.  Sorry for the misunderstanding.  In that case, it wouldn't be necessary to do another blood test to check your levels.  If there is bleeding after a confirmed pregnancy, many times doctors will take a blood test, 2 days apart to see if those numbers double.  This "usually" indicates that the pregnancy is progressing as it should.  When you mentioned bleeding on the 24th, I thought it was after your confirmed pregnancy.

As for the paternity, only a DNA test will confirm.

[heatherlynn22]

paternity test

[lala1009]

thank you ladies for the answers and you trying to help. I know that deep down inside I know that this is the only answer "DNA TEST" but I think that would only be possible until the baby is born. I  always wanted to be pregnant but not under these circumstances. and the worst part is that now im actually having second thoughts.. I dont know what to do... THis is going to be so hard and Just by reading others opinions and reading other similar posts it makes me wonder how long can I hold it in for by not telling my husband what has happened. It would be the end of my marriage. He would not forgive the fact that I cheated, even if he knew he is at fault for treatin me the way he did..... I also thought that when i would get pregnant i would be happy and excited and a bit scared but now all i have is this worried feeling.. and how I truly F*cked up...... Im do back in on 11/18/09 to see my dr.  and i dont know how im goin to feel then and i dont know what he's goin to tell me then... right about now after writing this I feel sad and confused... Lord help me and thank you ladies for your support!

[JoyRenee]

You can get DNA testing while pregnant. You can ask your doctor about it and the risks associated with it. But that is definitely the only way to know. Here's some basic information:

-Sperm can live up to 5 days in the vagina
-Implantation of a fertilized egg can take 7-12 days

Because you had sex with both men on a variety of days it is basically whoevers' sperm that met the egg first. Good luck and let us know what ends up happening!

[Proud_Papa_of_2]

Noticed people ignored the blaming her husband for her own actions. None the less, paternity can be established prior to birth via amniosyntesis procedure. That involves risk to the pregnancy.

[thickm]

i say dna test too.......those days are just too close together and your dont ovulate on a specific day!!! good luck hun

[Missamouse]

I'm sorry you are going through this but i would like to tell you that my exhusband was a complete jerk, treated me like **** and controled my every move.  I too cheated on him and truly thought in my heart that he would kill me but he completely surprised me when I told him.  I did in fact leave him anyways as I had enough but he sure did surprise me.  You might be surprised how your husband will react - it might not be as bad as you think.  Marriage is supposed to be for better and worse and people make mistakes.  I would tell him and try to move forward together and heal together.  I fear this is the only way for a happy pregnancy...Best of luck to you!!!

[kellie2003]

when did you have your last period? before you got pregnant?

[lala1009]

i had my last period from 22nd of september -29

[bossetina]

hi there just read your post you side on your first post on top you hade you last period on the 24 to the 29 oct  and at the botton post you say on the 22 sept  wich one it  if you last period would  go back in oct 24 to 29 the other may would not be the father but if in sept he could be the father only DNA could tell you

[lala1009]

hello everyone well, i came to a decision being that ive been bleeding alot and im not feeeling to good with the pregnancy. i went back to my doctor today and he did another sonogram and he told me that if I believed in God that maybe that was a sign.. it was time to make a choice, To keep it or not keep it.. I decided that im not keeping it because i wouldnt be able to be happy all through out the pregnancy, and that would hurt the baby. I would feel extremly guilty and it wouldnt be fair to anyone, the two guys and nor to the baby. after alot of thinking I think its for the best. So may Gob bless me... and may he forgive me for i have sin... :,,(

[Alba333]

Hi there, I'm so sorry to see that you are in such a dilemma.  All I know is this is a tremendously difficult decision.  You see I don't know how old you are but if you don't have any children then it is very difficult to comprehend how much you can possibly love someone.  All I can say is to not have it can affect you more than you think.  This child is yours no matter who the father is.  You see, when you finally have a child you will feel so differently when looking back you will always wonder what could have been.  You may think yes, get rid of the problem at hand but you may be haunted for years to come.  Don't forget, it is a 50%-50% chance that it is your husband's child.  I think if you told him he would not want you to end the life of a child that could possibly be his.  I hate to admit this but, the reason I'm telling you this is because.......I was in your same shoes 3 years ago and had my son who turned out to be my husband's thank GOD! but regardless I am so glad I kept him, as I'm sitting here emotional as I am. I could not know what life would be without him and at the thought of ending his life just chokes me up so bad! Please! Please! talk to your husband first before you go through with this decision! Or if you don't want to tell him, wait till after the baby is born this way it would be easier not to make any rash decisions on his and on your part.  Yes please think about it with him if you can you might be very surprised at his reaction..........Don't forget at 28 days there is a heart beat!!!  GOD BLESS!

[Alba333]

Lala, I know you are probably wondering why I put myself out there so to speak?  Well, I just feel so strongly about this subject that if I can help to save just one unborn child then I will do what ever it takes! It doesn't matter to me what others may say, all that matters is that baby's life that you might end because of panic and not thinking it through.  I really do hope that in sharing my feelings and experiences with you it may help you to make the right decision.........................

[lilprincesskerry]

Wow....Im not one to judge.. But one who just lost her 1st child would do anything to have a healthy baby growing inside of her right now.....

[Alba333]

sorry I checked out too soon, just wanted to add that yes, it's a 50-50 chance it's your husband's and 50-50 chance it is your friend's but it's 100%  YOUR! BABY! so keep that in your heart. Just think what if, and you really never know whether or not you may not be able to have another baby down the line? I knew someone who was pretty young, I don't know how old you are but anyway, she had a pregnancy terminated because she felt she was too young at the time (19) and about 5 years later she wanted to start trying with her new husband and she ended up with cycts in her ovaries so bad that it prevented her from ever getting pregnant. This can happen to anyone so really think about it. I was lucky to have my son after waiting so long.  Some are not so lucky and your health can change at any time for no apparent reason. Just think this through carefully is my advice. I never believed what people used to always tell me: children no matter how bad the situation may be are always a blessing. I was the biggest  skeptic, now I so believe it's true.   Let me know what you are going to do.   Alba

[Katherine114]

Hi Lalla, I belived we are in the same situation. I am 27 yrs old. I got depressed when my bf broke up with me. And ended up sleeping with my ex. My problem is, (me and xbf)we had sex when i had a period. It was not my intention to do it on my period but it happened. My last period was on Sept 24 - 30. We had sex on 27th without any birth control because i thought it was safe. I just realized there's a possibility that i would get pregnant. Then, the following weeks, my boyfriend and i talked and tried to work things out. I can't remember the date when we had sex but i am sure it was 2nd-3rd week of October. I just found out that i'm pregnant on Nov. 4 when i took a pregnancy test and visited the OB. My doctor said she cannot determine it yet because it is too early to do ultrasound. So i will have to wait until my next visit on Dec 7 or on my 3rd month. It's kinda frustrating because my boyfriend knows that i am pregnant, and he has a little doubt, we used condom but he took it off when he felt nothing, after that we had sex again but did not use one anymore. He did withdrawal though. Was it safe or not? That happened on the same date on 2nd week and on 3rd week we used it again but he did not take it off last time. I am very confused and it bothers me every day. Whoever the father is, i still want to know. I am not worried being pregnant at all, in fact i am very excited! This is my first baby and im taking care of myself.

I would advice you to accept the blessing like what i do now, i know we both having a hard time with our situation. Just do what's the "right" thing to do. For the sake of your baby and your health. I need some advices too guys!!! please.. if you could determine who's the father of my child, i would like to hear your answers. I would appreciate it.

Thank you very much,
Kat

[Victoria01]

I'm sorry, but there is no way to know for sure which man fathered your child, and anyone that tells you any different is wrong. By your first post, you slept with two different men twenty-four hours apart. Only a paternity test can give you the answers you seek.

[Katherine114]

Nope. I had sex with my ex when i had period on Sept 27th , thats between my period Sept 24 - 30 , i was asking if there's a possibility that i would get pregnant. My bf and i had sex on 2nd and 3rd week of October , not after i had sex with my ex. Please read my post again. Thank you.

[Katherine114]

Hi again Victoria, Was your opinion for Lala?

[kellie2003]

i think the father of your child is your friend not your husband. because ovalation is like 2 weeks after your period that mean you ovalated on the 12 or 13 around there.