I can't do it anymore (vent)

[Sammiegirl28]

So a little about me, I'm 26 a stay at home mom to a beautiful 11 month old boy and I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant. My hubby and I have been together for three years and in previous relationships he had cheating issues. When we got together he changed his ways completely and started our family. A month ago I noticed he was acting extra strange so I went through his phone. Found out he had cheated on me with another women. He met her online and talked to her at night when I went to bed and during the day while he was at work. He met up with her and went on a date one night while I was in the hospital for my high risk pregnancy and our son was staying at a friend's. He slept with her that night, but felt guilty the next day and ended it with her. After talking to my mom and others I decided to not leave him and try to make it work, and told him some things he could do to earn my trust back. I just feel like he was completely on board, but now it's been a few weeks and he's not trying as hard anymore. I might seem like it's been long enough to him, but to me it's still like it happened yesterday. I'm not sure what to do anymore. On top of all of that he lost his job and just got a new one working everyday all day. I worry about what's he's doing, who he's talking to, extra all the time. I just can't do it anymore...

[king_brian_smith]

I would say ultimately it is your choice as to wether you stay or leave, but I can tell you he slacked off of trying to gain your trust because he already got his answer, that he could stay so he now figures he doesn't have to work as hard. Just do a little here n there.  But if he knows he could do it once n get away he will try again and assume he will receive open arms again... I wish you well with your baby and your decision, but like everyone said above you don't need the extra stress...

[jadki001]

I'm sorry to say this,and it's your life,  you should do what makes you happy but you should leave him I think. You're stronger than you think and you don't deserve to be pregnant and cheated on.

[mommys2b6]

Sorry for your current situation:( Both men and women are dogs sometimes and in this case it's the man. Sorry to be so blunt but being honest. You don't need any extra stress! Take care of yourself and your kiddo and unborn child and leave that rat to fend for himself..Thats my opinion!!!!

[nonishy]

One of my marriage ended because my husband cheated on me. I just felt dirty and disgusted every time he touched me or when we would have sex. I would always think if he was thinking about her while he was with me. I divorced him a couple months later. Thankfully i have no ties to him, no kid from him or anything. So it was a clean break for me.
But even if i had a kid with him, i would leave him. Stuff like this can drive you crazy. So if you can't take it anymore, and your thoughts are all over the place, it would probably be best to leave him. He broke that trust, he will never get it back. It will always be in the back of your mind.
Do what's best for you. Some people stay in relationships for the children. And that's the wrong reason. It will hurt a child more if that is the case.

[shenialvrtt9]

I wouldnt stress at all ,u dnt need the added stress just relax and try to go out and enjoy urself ,do somethings dat make u feel good

[rod3]

I would move on even though that is painful. He needs to realize what he lost and live with the consequences. He got away with it. ..it doesnt mean in the future you can try

[c_mcassidy]

survivinginfidelity.com

[Firstxmom]

OK so he felt guilty after he slept with her?! He should have felt guilty hiding that he was talking to her but he even took that further, would see her, went on date with her slept with her when you were in your condition. He's only sorry he was caught. I'm sorry that happened to you but do you think you can really come back from thst? Not only you but your baby deserves better than that. I wish you the best.

[BBrittanyy]

I would never stay if my husband cheated especially when i am pregnant. I feel i am my most vulnerable at this point when pregnant alreadu overly emotional and feeling unattractive but we decided to have this baby so if i have to go through this miracle of life that leaves me completely exposed then he should be strong enough to keep it in his pants. It would hurt like hell to have to not have him here but it hurts more to know he slept with someone else. Unforgivable!

[organicmama]

I would say the only way you could possibly try to repair the damage of an affair is if you both agree to go to regular couples counselling to talk about your relationship and get serious with one another. Maybe if you do that you can keep in track to forming a healthy relationship. Most of the time though, a cheater will always cheat and lie. And you will always be suspicious and insecure. Almost impossible to come back from that situation. So sorry you have to deal with this :(

[marchbabyz]

I went through that exactly.  I can tell you that I felt disgusted and kept thinking how many more were there and why,it was miserable and I could never trust him again, I didn't take him back.  My husband now has shown how a real man should treat his wife and children and I know I made the best choice.

[laurah87belfast]

Can u live with it? Can u cope? Csn u forgive? Everyones dif xxx

[sophzub]

Omg dont stay with him. I dont get why woman stay with cheaters. My sister did jt because they had a kid bug ******* deal. Man uo for your children and leave. Otherwise they will grow uo thinking its ok to treat woman like crap and will treat you just the same.

[1stbabyNOVember]

I knowy own personality and I am unable to forgive and forget cheating. An old relationship he cheated at 6 months and I was never able to drop it for the remainder 2yrs of the relationship. Always wondered, always checked phone and social media. Drove me nuts thinking like that. It taught me I don't give trust back once taken.

Now I'm with my husband and I never feel the need to snoop. True love won't cheat.

[geekyshorty]

I can't say that "once a cheater, always a cheater" because I used to cheat, but haven't with my current man. Point is, if you truly love someone, you wouldn't cheat on them because you wouldn't need more than that person could give. If he has cheated on you already, drop his dumb behind! You deserve better. And from personal experience, do not stay with the child's father for the child! It screws the child up! I watched my father cheat on my mother for 13 years and she knew. My brother and I were pretty screwed up for a long time.

[shockwave7816]

Can I ask what kinds of things your asked for him to do to prove himself?  My bf cheated on me with his ex.  I feel the same way.  He was so very attentive the first week after but now I feel he's like that's over.  It's never really over.  You have to combine to talk things out and be honest with each other.  Otherwise trust never heals.  

[chisaac]

I'm sorry that your going through this. Personally even if I really love you I will not tolerate cheating. I don't cheat and you can make the effort too! You should have thought about losing me when you made that decision. I deserve so much better. And you do to!!!

[Mainesapril]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I know the feeling and it's a horrible feeling for so.eone you love to be unfaithful.  It's even harder when it's out of your control and you can't be around them 247 to watch them. I don't understand why men can't just be trusted. I married my love recently and right before we had our own issues and now I'm living with being terrified of being hurt. I hate it but I don't want to let him go.  We have a baby girl due in 11 weeks and I'm praying that things would change once she is here. Good luck to you. Try to be less stressed as possible and that is easier said than done.  

[gmbrutto]

The lack of trust in your relationship will eventually end the relationship. My ex husband cheated a lot on me.  I turned my head and pretended like none of it was happening for months. I never confronted him on it accept once at a work Christmas party when he introduced me to the woman he had been having the affair with. I merely said so this is the infamous Angela. He was pissed. Their relationship ended but he started another relationship. This time I went to my sister house for 10 days vacation and he moved his gf into our house...as a roommate. They were making out on the couch and drinking a lot. I left him quick bit lost thousands of dollars in the process. I never trusted him and why should I. Our marriage last 3 yrs to the day. I didn't have. Children and you do... so fight for trust for them. I wish you the best for you and your baby

[Sam31190]

Every one reacts to cheating differently. Even though I can't imagine my life without my husband, I too would probably try to give him another chance. But then you start to worry and wonder and no one deserves to live like that. People make mistakes, and forgiving is wonderful but if you aren't truly happy or can't fully trust him than you need to walk away. Do what's best for you and your babies. You don't want them growing up and seeing resentment between their parents.

[ericaponder]

Cheating can't be forgiven no matter what ppl say. Yes he will give the I'm sorry spill and it meant nothing blah blah. The real torture is your mind. The constant worrying about what he is doing is not worth it. You will be miserable and so will he. What type of life is that? And you are pregnant the extra stress is not needed.

[bentsmommy14]

Once a cheater always a cheater girl. Some guys jist can't commit they want there cake and eat it to! I am sorry you are going through this it's horrible to have to wonder all the time