Pregnancy 25-34 Community
Need advice bad!!
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Need advice bad!!

I am having a issue and wondering what you ladies would do if in my situation. I am 28 weeks pregnant and on Saturday my baby's father said he wants nothing but the best for his daughter (which makes me happy to hear) but he thinks that us having a relationship is not a good idea right now. We have been best friends for over 17 years and have been seeing eachother for over a year and a half now. We get along so great so I dont know why he wouldnt want a relationship with the mother of his child. He wants our daughter to have his last name but I now feel that if he doesn't want to be with me why should I give her his last name? So my question is what would you ladies do if you were in my situation.....to give her his last name or not?
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Avatar_f_tn
He's probably just scared. Especially if it wasnt planned. Maybe he wil come around. I'm not sure what I would do about the last name though :( Hopefully he will come around sooner than later, so it's easier for you to make a decision. Good luck!
12 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
He's probably just scared. Especially if it wasnt planned. Maybe he wil come around. I'm not sure what I would do about the last name though :( Hopefully he will come around sooner than later, so it's easier for you to make a decision. Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
I don't know for sure what you should do but if he says he is still going to be there for the baby and you believe he will be a good dad then he deserves to have her share his name. But i agree with DanaCarlson in that he probably is scared and freaking out...hopefully he comes around...good luck :)
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Avatar_f_tn
I think they are right maybe he is scared but also having a child changes people for the better or worse n he could be trying to protect the both of u n wants to see how things are between u both when the baby arrives. As far as the last name, a lot of people give their kids the fathers last name because of child support or because they r a great dad, u basically have to decide what is best for ur child. Good luck tho
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4711886_tn?1365013975
Its up 2 you. I was not with my kids dad so I gave my son my last name then got back with him and had my baby girl which has my last name 2 but I am not with him now. I found I very nice man 5 years ago which I am pregnant to and our baby will have his last name not mine. hope this helps its all up 2 you xx
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a kid with an ex if i ha know we were not going tomb together i wouldnt have given her his last name..... Reason why is because now i have a wonderful husband and more children and i wish i could change her name to what i have now but i cant because i put him on the birth certificate.
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Avatar_n_tn
If he comes around before she's born go ahead and give her his last name but if he doesn't, don't. That is similar to what I am going through and that is the decision I have made. Don't tell him your decision just wait ti see his first. And if you give her your name and he comes around later he can always have it changed
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4545793_tn?1394596144
I would say no if my man was up and down with commitment if he is just afarid which alot of men are and rethinks the situation and comes back then yes I would give the baby his name...I mean why would he want to throw away a relationship for 17 years ? Doesnt make sense just give him some space and then retalk about it im sure he will come around
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Avatar_n_tn
My first child's last name is hyphenated. I wasn't married to her dad at the time but I am now. Either way both our last names are included in hers, so even if we had broken up she still would have had a sensible last name.
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4738473_tn?1360039398
If you are unsure of the role he will play in the babys life or worry that you will end up with someone other than him in the long run i would give her your name, but if you think he will be a great father and it doesnt matter to you if you are togather then go with his name. My oldest 2 sons have my exs name and i regret it everyday. I want to change thier names but he wont allow it. It really comes down to what kind of people you both are and what you are comfortable with. If theres any question that you may not be comfortable with it give her your name, you can allways change it later if you choose to, but if you give her his name you both have top agree if you want to make any changes.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hypenate, its awful when you and your child dont share a name. It invites so many unwanted questions. This way you acknowledge him as the dad and allow yourself to avoid nosey people. 5 yrs experience got me to that decision but maybe its not right for you.
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Avatar_f_tn
Lots of good advice ladies and I thank you all! I have a lot to think about,  I think if he doesn't come around by the time shes born she will get my last name. If things change between us later in life I will change her name.
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Avatar_f_tn
If you are having doubts now then follow your gut and give her your last name.  You can always throw his last name in there but keep yours at the end.  
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