Should I attend the funeral?

[ollyxv]

My husband's grandfather just passed away. His funeral is this week.
I did not have a problem with his grandfather besides him telling us he was not going to attend our wedding last minute because someone he wanted to go was not attending. That is the last time my husband or I spoke to him. The main problem is the rest of my husband's family. They have put us through so much in the past year and a half, harassing us both with threats and terrible words, they ruined our wedding on purpose as well which really hurt me.
The last time we went to a funeral, we were shunned. His family did not speak to us, until after we left we got bombarded with texts and emails and hurtful words.
My husband and I are having problems in our marriage at the moment as well. He has not been supportive to me in a very stressful situation that just arised in my life so I don't know if that matters either. I would mainly go to support him, but I don't know if I should since he hasn't been there for me and as well of course because his family is abusive and I don't know if seeing them knowing everyone hates me is a good idea. 
And I am pregnant at the moment, that probably won't help.
If anyone could give advice, and thoughts, please do.
Thank you.

[AnnieBrooke]

I appreciate what susamor says about respect and closure, but this family sounds like it is going to be mad, bitchy, rude and insulting no matter what the couple does.  Go, they ignore you and get mad, stay, they get insulted.  So given that there is no win, why kill yourself.  If there were really a way for this to cause the family to understand it is an action of respect, that would be one thing, but it sounds like the family responds to this woman's presence as an affront and would take it as provocative.  No point in doing that at a funeral.

[ntrinaculookin]

I also agree w annie...bc u don't wanna upset yourself bc I know if it was me I couldn't hold my tongue especially if I know I havent done anything 2 anybody

[susamor]

I say you go to pay your respect and for closure. And if his family says and does something, don't give into it.  Be the bigger person. Because at the end of the day, no one will be able to hold another thing against you like that you didnt even go to his funeral. Maybe just stay quiet and keep your peace and don't focus on their immaturity. Your husband needs to defend and protect you since its HIS family. I know I would give my family a piece of my mind if they mistreated my husband. And husbands do mess up from time to time, but just because they do it doesnt mean we have to treat them the same way. You can set an example in your marriage for him and show him the importance of being there for the other spouse. Based on what you described, I think the only reason you shouldn't go is if you'd be in danger if you go.

[Amy1830]

I agree with what Annie said!

[AnnieBrooke]

I don't see why you would put yourself through it.  It's hard to imagine that both of you being there will help anything.  Is your husband really broken up over his grandpa's death?  If not, he probably doesn't need you to support him through the sad event, and if his family is bitchy about the two of you, they actually might be less bitchy if it was just him present.  You're not going to win with the family, no matter what you do, so stick with what is easier on you personally, meaning stay home and rest.