Want to leave my spouse while pregnant...

[Crimson31_]

Hello everyone.. I'm 18 weeks and my fiance and I are having terrible relationship problems. We argue all the time and I just don't feel loved by him. He plays that stupid Xbox constantly and never makes time for me. It's so bad to the point that I'm looking for a new home. Has anyone else had these issues with their significant other to the point they wanted to leave while they're pregnant??

[specialmom]

There is some debate regarding staying in an unhappy marriage for kids.  I contend that if parents are simply  unhappy, they need to deal with it and try to make the relationship better for the sake of the kids.  People give up on marriage/relationships very quickly so we have kid after kid growing up with parents that don't live together.  I fear for what this has a lot of negative effects on kids even more so that parents that aren't in love, or having sex, or having financial issues or whatever goes on privately between the couple.  

This is different than if a couple is volatile, fighting in front of kids frequently and the house has tension that is thick.  That is hard on kids to deal with. But then a couple should do counseling and learns ways to work on this to keep it under control.

But I think if you have kids, it's not just about you and your happiness anymore.  There needs to be a lot bigger reason than I'm just not in love or happy to break up a family in my opinion.

But, the poster here describes a man that doesn't do anything for his existing kids and seems to be a layabout.  Not a great person for her to have gotten pregnant by.  Ugh.  I guess, THAT is a good place to start is for people to do a better job of picking good partners from the onset.  

Just my thoughts.  But most kids want their parents together and things have to be pretty bad for them to say "ya know, you two should divorce."  

[Jinx_777]

it is NEVER a good idea to stay in an unhappy relationship for the kids.
it never works and they get worse after the baby is born. no sleep, he doesn't help, doesn't get up to feed the baby. believe me, if you are having these issues before the baby gets here, it will just get worse.
kids deserve better.  being a weekend father is better than one that is unavailable everyday and they have to listen to the fighting

[Londres70]

Specialmom.....that's Amcinto's situation, but nevertheless all the other posts are just as concerning.

If he was playing all this Xbox prior to you getting pregnant that was your "red flag" dear.  

Most productive, working adults don't have time to playing Xbox for hours.  That's why I am guessing he is a teen or very young and immature; too immature to be a father.

Babies don't make boys into men ladies.

[specialmom]

I think what would make me kick him out is that he has FOUR kids he doesn't interact with and sits like a big teenager playing video games (although teenagers in my life are busy with school work and even THEY do more productive things than that).  So, the man you're with is a cruddy dad.  This you already know by evidence of how he treats his other kids.  Most likely will not be any different with your child than he is with his others.  He has history to go by.  So, I don't think it is hormones but real red flags waving that this was not a great guy to make a child with.  

And how does it come to pass that a man with four kids moves in with you and your sister?  does he work?  He doesn't have enough money to have his own place? Concerning!!  

good luck

[Londres70]

Was he playing with the Xbox a lot BEFORE you got pregnant?  Is he working?

Did he want this child?

How old are you two?

He isn't a spouse yet; he is a live-in bf as you two aren't married yet.  Are you living with his family or just with him?

[ash060115]

;)

[Crimson31_]

Good idea Ash06 lol

[ash060115]

You girls who say your partner plays too much xbox/playstation etc need to be good wives and do the "washing up" ... fill your sink with hot soapy water and wash that xbox/playstation for your man ;)

[jess2489]

Hopefully things do get better for u hun! Ive been married almost 4yrs and this is my 3rd baby and my huaband and I constantly fight. Hes always a smart *** about every little thing and calls me out of my name daily,& tells me constantly how fat I am... then has the nerve to say I never have sex with him... I understand how it feels =/ but like tattoomama said, we are survivors & we can do whatever we put our mind to!!!!!

[CrystalD05]

I cant stand looking at my BF. Its been 4 days wo speaking. I sleep in the bed he sleeps on the couch. I told him im moving out and to not even worry about the baby because I can do it alone.
Im in Mommy mode now and will not put up w things. Hoping he gets things together quick!

[deltagreen9913]

Good to know I'm not the only one. He plays his playstation and online games. I want to smash his stupid computer and playstation with a hammer. My hubby up and quit his job 3 weeks ago and didnt even consult me about it. The job he found is kind of unstable and drives me into a panic. We bicker constantly. We fight constantly. I need him to step up and be the wonderful dad he keeps saying he's going to be.

I feel he doesn't help with anything or feels getting the apartment ready for the baby isn't important. I do everything. If I ask him to do ANYTHING baby related he has a million excuses and reasons as to why he can procrastinate and put it off.

[Crimson31_]

Thanks everyone for the comments. I really dont know what I'm going to do right now. Maybe it's hormones. I will wait it out I guess..

[lexii922]

Same here we have our problems..i was going to leave him..because he say i dint want to be with him.i dint touch him and i dint show love to him..he dosent understand what i going through.i got really mad i told him we have one month n we havent got anything for our bby..i dont talk about what im going through cuz he dosent understand

[tattoomama4]

Lol I just realized all my spelling mistakes lol.  Sorry about that,  fat fingers ;) im sure you got my point even through the spelling. Lol again sorry

[tattoomama4]

Im sorry to hear ypu are foing thrpugh this.  Unfortunately some men act like 16 yr old boys. No matter how much you complain or nag it usually makes things worse (I say that out of experience lol). If you feel unloved or that he isnt putting forth effort in your relationship,  end it before you become too miserable. In this time you have to think of you and maybe.  I feel for the women that commented about theblack of support or worry.  But Remember we are strong women. We bear children for chrost sakes although the future seems hard or scary being a "single" mother it can be done. Do not fear for everything happens for a reason. And because we are so strong is why we survive. Besides your first glimpse of your new baby, youll know everything will be alright! Good luck to you and to everyone who commented who is currently in a similar situation.

[todayyyyistheday]

Im going through that too. I just want to leave and never see him again. However, I want the babies to know him and have him as a full-time dad, rather just on the weekends. I feel like I'm doing this for my two bundles of joy that are not born yet....

[amcinto]

I'm going through it right now. I even have plans of kicking him out tonight. He refuses to go to work and sits on the couch and watches tv. I can barely make ends meet and am terrified to do this alone but having him here isn't helping at all financially and just stressing me out to the max. I know that once we break up the chances of him being in this baby's life are slim since he has 3 other kids none of which he sees or helps support. I feel like such a fool

[tisha2005]

I am going through the same thing. I was told because our motherly instincts kick in as soon and we find out that we are pregnant and reality doesn't set in for majority of men until the last trimester or something the day of birth.


This is my 1st child and no one told me how hard this can be.. lol

Pray and have faith

[3rdNdone]

It's possibly hormones. I didn't want my husband near me and we fussed about the craziest things. Things that he did that didn't normally bother me drove me crazy. It was so bad that if I smelt, felt or heard him coming near me I would fake sleep. It's tapering off now and I actually let him sleep beside me instead of at the foot of the bed. I hope you and your family work it out.

[Guinb24]

Oh yes. Ive had to deal with his immature days, with my first pregnancy. I've tried to talk to him about it and all I ever got was "oh, youre just pregnant and hormonal". It use to make me so mad. We ended up breaking up. I just couldn't take his attitude and how I felt so unloved by him. We got back together after the baby was born. Now that were older things are so much better. I know we both needed the time to ourselves. I really think that little separation we had helped us. Everyone is different. All I can say is hang in there and be the best mommy you can be for your lil one.

[cutchin]

Sure do same thing plays the xbox n he has other kids n he doesn't teach them anything so recently i told him to take his kids n get out im not dealing with this foolishness it's always been me n my sis now its him his 4 boys me n my sis they dont listen they mess stuff up so i saw myself getting viole withhim  so i just told him yo get out of i break that xbox he would have nothing to do but deal with his children ahhhh stupid men