So one day last month I went to wake up my boy for work and saw on his phone he had been talking to some girl calling her Nick names and saying things like "laying in bed, wanna join?;)" it literally killed me. I was upset crying, ran to the bathroom and cried, he came in and sat next to me huggin me tears in his eyes saying how sorry he was that it would never happen again that it was nothing more than the texts. He says that it was because he was we hadnt had sex at all and not even tried, he was sexually frustrated and wasnt thinking straight. Of course I love him to death I want to believe him. He says that day he noticed what he had and would never do anything like that again that he would never hurt me again. I think about it a lot. Scared he is still doing it:/ idk what to do!
But he'll just say "baby it's just you and me, that was my first and last mistake." I mean we are having a baby in October and getting married this month! I feel that if he really loved me he wouldn't have done that in the first place,yano?
I went through something like this with my bf about 5 yrs ago. We had been together for 2 yrs and he was in another state for work at the time. I happened yo see his old phone and decided to look at it. I found some pictures from a girl on there. We had a fight he swore it wouldn't happen again and apologized. I forgave him and about a yr later it happened again. That time I kicked him out he begged for another chance. I told him the only possible wat was we had to go to counciling and that wasn't a guarantee we would get back together. I made him do all the work to find the councelor and was very strict that he couldn't come to the house and we never stayed together. It took some months and some work but we got back together and are now about to have our second little boy. I still check his phone please periodically but I do trust him and things got much better after we did counciling. I don't say just leave or just take him back but make him work to keep you and lay it out that it was beyond unacceptable and that if you stay together any more such issues will result in you kicking him to the curb.
I would delete all of his contacts except the ones you know and I would make him change ho's number or you could make him switch phones with you. You could always find an app to track his text phone calls and where he goes.
I went through some similar things with my ex. It drove me so crazy wondering if he was still in contact with her. I ended up asking to see his phone randomly etc. He would get so mad that I didnt trust him enough not to ask. But when we did go to couples councelling, the therapist told him that after something like that, he had to understand that I needed complete transparancy to get past it and be able to trust him again. Which meant if I needed to look at his phone, it was something he needed to accept.
Honestly though, he just wasnt trustworthy in the end. And it took too much of a toll on both he and I.
I hope the best for you in your situation, but I agree with you that one time or not, he is really dishonourable for even doing it. :( Hopefully he actually realised his mistake and you can get past it, but once trust is lost, it is a hard road back.
Ive had a similar thing happen , & it took me a long time to trust my husband, i was very bitter for a long time after, but we got through it :) I have pass words to his fb his fone everything ! While at 1st I'd check on a daily basis I rarely do now as he has gained back my trust. If u want this to work it will take time & ur man will have to give u space & understand this ain't easy 4 u xx
I think with most men you can do everything in the world to manipulate the situation so he won't cheat, or so you think he won't have the opportunity but some men are going to find a way no matter what you do. Id hold off on getting married maybe, wait things out and see how it goes. I feel like he's being really weak, I mean you could say what if I went to prison for 9 months or you go to prison for 9 months, would you tough it out then? Maybe that's extreame to but there's no excuse for his behavior no matter how horny he is. Get him a fleshlight lol maybe that will relieve him a bit. Just if he really loves you he won't cheat, marriage is for better or worse and he clearly can't handle the worse right now. Tell him to man up. Sorry your going through this. Hope with time it gets better.
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