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7476354 tn?1391460990

getting tubes tied

Hello ladies,  I am just popping in to ask a quick question.  I am normally in a younger forum but have a question specifically for older mommies :) I am 21yrs old and 34w4d with my 3rd child!  My bf and I have decided that 3 is the perfect number for us and I am planning to get my tubes tied during my csection in a couple weeks. I have been so positive this is what I want and what is best for my family, but am still a little nervous.  The "what if's" are what scare me most. I know i don't want any more children, but when I'm 30, my children will be 13, 10, and 9. I've never pictured myself as an older mother and knew I wanted to have all my children at a young age but WHAT IF something big changes in my life that changes my mind.

So my question to you is,  what made you decide to have a child in your 30's? Was it always your plan to wait to have children or did it just happen that way?  Did any of you ladies have children at a young age,  then as they got older,  decided to start having more children?  

Thanks in advance for your responses and I do apologize if im not supposed to ask questions in this group due to my age,  Just let me know and I will remove my post.  Thanks♡♡
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3605625 tn?1385017548
I was married when I had my first 2 kids, and I was into twenties. Two kids were all we wanted and I was done. Then ten years later I got divorced and met a man who didn't have any kids, we were both 37 when I had my third. So, yes, you never know what could happen down the track, if you are unsure, maybe use another form of protection like the implant or the depot shot, which covers you for a longer period of time. No more kids for me, I am definitely done!!
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Avatar universal
*ground =growing
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Avatar universal
I waited because I wanted to make sure I was ready for the responsibility.  I was married to a very immature man in my early 20s, and I honestly didn't want to feel like I was raising 2 kids at once.   When I met my current husband, I knew right away I wanted to have children with him. You do a lot of ground and maturing in your 20s. I'm definitely not the same person at 34 that I was at 24.  I feel I would have done a disservice to any children I would have brought into this world when I was very much a child myself.
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Avatar universal
I forgot to mention that I also wanted to be married when I got pregnant. My oldest brother had a baby at 21 & that girl ran us into the dirt & took all our rights away & we never got to watch her grow up. It was devastating! My brother so badly wanted to be a dad, but there were horrible circumstances that occurred. Same type of deal happened to my cousin too so by watching their experiences when in my teens taught me A LOT about what I didn't want.
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Avatar universal
I'm 35 & 35 weeks with my first. I didn't want to have children in my 20's because I didn't think I would be good mom at a younger age plus the guys I dated then treated me horribly.
My parents had 3 kids by the time they were 26 & looking back, they felt like they missed the party so they did a lot of that after I was born..I was the 3rd baby. I didn't want to do that to my kids. For me personally, I wanted to make sure that when I had a baby that I was 100% ready to be a parent & better set in life to be able to focus on my family. Mainly I wanted to make sure that I never felt like I missed out on something because I got pregnant young. I love my parents & they did the best they knew how, but I didn't want to repeat the pattern.
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Avatar universal
I was married at 21 but had my first baby at 32. We weren't in a hurry to have kids and then when we were ready it took us 2+ years to conceive. If you're not sure maybe ask your doctor about a reversible bc option for now? Good luck!
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Avatar universal
P.s. also thinking quite seriously about having mine tied too
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Avatar universal
Not at all sure this will help but hope it does. I had my first child at 19. With some struggles i ended the relationship with his dad when he was 3 but was lucky enough to have good opportunities and went to uni and had good jobs etc and did the single mum thing until he was 13.
I then had my 2nd at 33.. 9 months later my 3rd and now my 4th at 35!.. recently married and definitelyva lot more stable, knowledgeable and considered in my thinking as a parent.  
Certainly would say that physically..emotionally and mentally its harder with age.. but that is mostly down to being more aware and i guess scared for our kids at this age.. thinking about life insurance etc...
I feel like i grew up with ans because of my first and had more time and exoeriences with him so im all for having them younger while energy is there... life is too short not to enjoy them and i feel like work and biĺls etc dont allow that so much as we get older and commitments increase.... so in some ways i envy u... if i could have all the kids as they are now and my husband etc but all 10 yrs ago... i would take it lol
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