twin preg in a 40 year old obese woman going to 43 weeks and beyond?

[sobeadit]

Does it make a diff if the obese woman had FET and was getting progesterone shots thru the whole pregnancy (stopped about a month or so ago)? There is no hypertension or GD or anything bad. Has anyone heard of ANYONE'S twin pregnancy going that long? IF you were the ob would you be unfailingly checking the woman every few days or once a week?

[sobeadit]

I am her partner and if they werent transferred in on the day after Memorial Day as I was told (we lived a couple hours apart at the time) then Im dealing with a big huge falsehood issue! :( which is why we are at supposedly 43 weeks two days Im like wtf?

[AnnieBrooke]

Might it be that they were *retrieved* on the day after Memorial Day?

[AnnieBrooke]

In other words, just because something is not the way you understand it, is not proof of a falsehood.  It could just as easily be proof of a misunderstanding, either of terminology or of timing.  

[sobeadit]

Oh. There's other stuff. But the main thing is that there isn't a way she could be 43 weeks plus four days or whatever. I was the keeper of the calendar and May 31 was supposed to be "we got pregnant today!" day. Her tummy doesn't stick way out forward (she carries her fat on her stomach which hangs down in an apron and she did gain weight), she still will lie on her stomach to play on her phone, and she is still running around working and things. And then there's the two ultrasound pix she showed me that she did have which i found out where taken off the internet.....

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds like you weren't around then in May to know what actually happened, and it sounds like now she is not 43 weeks pregnant, though it doesn't sound like you're saying she isn't pregnant at all.  What would be the price of her admitting that things aren't as you think they are, would she lose you?  And is she open to talking about this or would she be so afraid to lose you that she would not tell you anything?

[sobeadit]

well this is one of those situations that you CANNOT keep going forever you have to bring it to a resolution. i am not familiar with people who could be capable of trying to make such a lie go on and on and i'm very nervous about even insisting she tell me (we are not physically together now and are chatting but oddly she hasn't mentioned the pregnancy at all. it's like the elephant in the room she isn't addressing. this makes me even more incredulous that she could think we could chat and discuss our relationship which i ended when i realized the photos were off the internet and also blamed it on our huge compatibility issues. so we are chatting about things and she hasn't once mentioned oh i made us an appt together to see the doc, or i'm getting help but of course have to stop when the babies come or whatever. she's just blipped right over all of it. yes i do think she is likely not pregnant at all, but this also involves people at her work who think she is, her family back home, etc. it's crazy!!!!

[AnnieBrooke]

If your relationship is over, then I would not force a confrontation about this.  Just back out and leave the topic (and her) alone.  What she does with the people she works with and her family back home is her lookout.  I'm sorry if she isn't pregnant at all, because this will mean she fooled you, but if that's the case (versus her simply getting pregnant later than you think) you can't really change the facts and she has a lot more problems than just you.  They say never date a woman crazier than you.  I'd add, if you think she is crazy, run don't walk, and don't stay in touch.

[AnnieBrooke]

My tendency would be to think the doctor doesn't think the woman is 43 weeks.

[sobeadit]

Well, she told me that the doc said that the "three weeks" of the beginning dont really count. But why on earth would she think that? What makes this different than the due date calculators for FET you find online? THey state she is 43 weeks one day. And again, this doctor has never seen her in person once only going off of what she has seen in her chart (remember the woman is a nurse so can talk tech talk with the doc. but the woman really can only do kick counts, that's all she can do she can't check her own cervix or ultrasound herself). and she has the saliva progesterone tests. that is all i was told that is happening. how can a 40 year old woman, obese, with twins, with a heart condition and asthma that makes long labor dangerous, trying to avoid c section, NOT be seen personally by the doc even if she WAS only 40 weeks this week? To check cervix, to scan babies, check amnio fluid. The woman switched docs from her local OB to this specialist OB (Concierge doc) in a city about an hour away to go to to deliver the babies, maybe like....sometime in Feb. And the doc has NEVER SEEN HER in person. Even at 40 weeks this week, and not 43, this just cannot be. Even if she is 43 but the doc is saying "well those frozen weeks just don't count," i don't think it makes sense to not treat it super delicately and see her weekly if not twice a week. By the standards of medicine that the calculators are based on, she is 43 weeks. Tuesday will be 44. And shes not lying around on bedrest either.

[AnnieBrooke]

Are you computing from the day she froze her eggs?  Frozen weeks don't count, since the eggs are not in the person and are not growing at that time.  Do you know what day she actually had them transferred into her uterus?

[sobeadit]

yes they were transferred the day after memorial day. so that's why i'm not sure what the doc is meaning.

[sobeadit]

and i THOUGHT i was told that they were "in the dish" for longer than 5 days but now i'm learning that that really is not physically possible because at 5 or 6 days they would NEED To implant. so that's why they freeze them then. so it's not possible to have them in the dish for longer than that.

[AnnieBrooke]

Do you know for sure they were transferred on May 31?  Like, were you there?  (Sometimes stories accidentally get changed in the telling or the hearing.)  

If your pregnant friend is not worried, it's hard to see how you are going to get her to lean on her doctor to explain why she is not being seen.  In her shoes, I would be doing things differently, but I'm not her.  My suggestion would be to press your friend to find out answers to these questions.  And while you are asking her, please double-check when the transfer was.  If May 31 is right, she would have been due February 21, and it is hard to imagine any doctor ignoring that date.  That is why I'm wondering if somewhere along the line you got a wrong date for the transfer.

[AnnieBrooke]

And of course, by "transfer," I mean transferred into her uterus after some time in a petri dish and being frozen.  (Not transferred out of the ovaries into the petri dish.)

[specialmom]

On the surface, I'd have to say that this sounds unusual and yes, I think the doctor would be checking.  And inducing if this is the case.  Babies should come when ready but too long isn't good either.  Unless there is a reason why she really isn't 43 weeks.  Share with us the outcome, okay?

[sobeadit]

I have been googling and have not found a case of a twin preg going over 42 weeks. so yes. something wrong.

[AnnieBrooke]

I am beginning to wonder if your assumption of the number of weeks is incorrect.  Just because someone froze eggs 43 weeks ago does not mean they came out of the freezer 43 weeks ago and were transferred into the woman.

[sobeadit]

So the synthetic progesterone wouldn't cause things to be a bit wonky and tend to delay labor onset? I've been googling to see what progesterone hormone level is that tends to trigger labor but can't find it. She is at around 30-33 right now.  I'm saying that I've been told that the doc is telling her that if the babies are still moving like usual then not to worry and wait till progesterone is 25-30 to induce labor so that labor will not be prolonged. There's a heart condition reason for this. But I think it's odd she doesn't seem to want or need to see her in person for a physical exam or scan at all. Caveat is that pregnant woman is a nurse who probably doesn't want to go in and be fussed over as much as a non-medical professional. Still at this stage it seems odd to me. I haven't been able to find any thing online where a twin pregnancy went this long.

[AnnieBrooke]

The only reason it would make a difference having a fetal embryo transfer is that the doctor would know how far along the woman is.  You are saying someone is at 43 weeks right now and the doctor is disinterested?