Am I nuts???

[blessedmomof3]

My baby is 10 weeks today, and I have 2 older kids 14 and 15. Due to fibriod surgery I had to have a C-Section this time. It was horrible, first I had a bad reaction to the spinal, then the whole thing was awful compared to vaginal birth. I didn't even get to hold my baby for 2 hours because they couldn't get her to cry at delivery and she had to be rushed off. Then the recovery took 3 weeks to get to where I could do things on my own and care of my baby. The Dr said that was because my scar from my Fibriod surgery looked very thin when she saw it. I cried so much because I felt like I couldn;t bond w/ my baby because I was in so much pain all the time. My poor husband had to care for me, her, and our other 2 kids by himself. I said that I was done for sure! Could never go through all that again and now he is planning on getting fixed. Has an apt tomorrow to talk w/ the Dr about it. Yesterday we were out walking the baby and he reminded me of his apt and I got realy sad and told him I want another. Mind you, we also had to do IVF 3 times and lost 2 babies before our princess (who was a frozen embryo for a year) stuck. When I told him I was thinking about it and that I thought we could just try naturaly and see what happens he laughed like he thought I was joking. Later I brought it up again and the kids over heard and they said I was nuts. They said they do not want anymore either. So, am I crazy for thinking this way??? Will it pass????

[pertykitty]

my dr asked me about my tubes as well.  while i know i am done (both of us are done) after this one #3,  tricia's story has made me realize that i will not have it done right away.  my dd will need heart surg and if god forbid something happened, i want the choice.

[martikadragoon]

I told my DH that if he ever gets the big V behind my back that i'll divorce him and I meant it. I'd rather get a long term form of birth control that's NON surgical. we have 2 sons 16 months apart and an agreement to have baby #3 within the next 3-5 years. I'm currently not on birth control and our youngest is almost 4 months old but we use condoms regularly. DH actually wanted me to not get on birth control becuase hew as afraid that my libido would drop from the hormones.

[debbiefeff]

wow, i never looked at it that way. nope I'm not getting it done until i'm sure this is it. I'm glad you wrote that and so sorry for your loss i pray your reversal works.

[SoCalTricia]

If you're aren't completely sure - BOTH of you - I would urge you to hold off. It's a big decision, and we don't know what our future holds. I had my tubes tied when our baby was born last July - we figured we were doing the responsible thing. Sadly, our darling boy died at two months old. It was completely unexpected - he wasn't sick, as far as we knew. But he had a brain tumor. I regretted getting my tubes tied the next day after I did it...but I've REALLY regretted it after what happened to our son.

I had tubal reversal surgery in February...but there are no guarantees and they could only repair one tube. So, I wish someone had told me to think long and hard...and I wish someone would have posed these questions to me: If something - God forbid - happened to your baby, would you want to have another one? If you won the lottery, would you want another child? You just have to be SOOOOO sure about the decision, and know that you would make the SAME decision even if your life circumstances changed.

[blessedmomof3]

Thank you! I feel better knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way! While I was PG I didn't know if I would want more, than after she was born I was sure I didn't. But now I feel like I do. Hopefuly it is just something that will pass. Not sure what hubby will do, but he says he definatly does not want more. I hope he decides to wait for now.

[debbiefeff]

omg i know exactly how you feel. your not crazy and i keep telling myself...I'm getting my tubes tied as soon as this baby is born then i think....what if i get remarried, i love my children and i know this set back i have will pass but that it would be too late if i do something so permanent. my x-husband had his vasectomy after our third child and a reversal when she was 6 years old, i was pregnant 4 months later we had that child, an abortion and another child. the day i came home from the hospital he had done another vasectomy behind my back, i felt so hurt and our marriage went down hill from that moment. i would say to you to get on some other form of bc until your for sure this is what you want or you will always regret it and obsess about it. the vasectomy was around $350 and the reversal was about $5,000 back 10 years ago. insurence covered the hospital fees and we just had to pay the dr fees of about $2,500. still a lot of money just to have 6 years of birth control. please talk to your husband and ask him not to do it without your permission, i heard the dr is not even suppose to do it without the wifes permission so i don't even know how my x husband was able to pull that off, i guess money talks.