BG-MN

[mature momma]

How did things go with your RE appt?  Debra

[RunningL8]

Thanks for asking.  To our surprise, the RE said he would do IVF on me using my own eggs, as long as we understand there is less than a 2% chance it will result in a viable pregnancy.  As you will probably recall, previously he had said that under no circumstances would he consider IVF on a woman over 43.  I guess he changed his mind because our insurance should cover IVF (as long as I don't use donor eggs), and he said they can control more in IVF than IUI.  This clinic is very proud of their high success rates, so it is also surprising to us that he would be willing to mess up the clinic's statistics on an IVF attempt that probably won't work.  We think if the IVF would be covered, why not try, so I'm in the process of verifying with our insurance that the IVF would indeed be covered or mostly covered.  If, because of my age, it's not, we've decided we won't try something with such a low possibility of success; rather, we would just put the money into using donor eggs later (probably after we get reiumbursed for the $20,000+ of adoption expenses).  Meanwhile, I did ovulate on day 12 of my cycle, so there is always the hope that something might happen naturally.  It is very confusing to know what to do.  Beyond the $ involved in your IVF attempt and the big disappointment, is there any reason you would advise me not to do the IVF if it's covered?  Did the process have any negative physical effects on you?

[RunningL8]

I forgot this....he also said that he would implant all potential embryos in me, no matter how many, no matter what quality, in the hope that maybe one would be viable.  I can't recall--how many embryos did you end up with, and how many did they implant?  Hope all is well with you this week!

[mature momma]

I think thats great news! Your RE sounds alot like ours. He also has a high success rate but you know, he is such a compassionate person that he cares more about helping couples achieve their dream of parenthood than just statistics. I think more people go on word of mouth. Like us, we have several friends who have used our RE with great success. Many people have told us he's the best, which is good enough for me. Would I do it again with my eggs?  If our insurance covered it, in a minute. I really didin't have may side effects. Felt real full in my lower stomach from my ovaries being enlarged due to all the meds, other than that it really wasn't bad at all. Shots didn't bother me either. Everthing was pretty easy other than the emotional let down of a negitive result. I had seven embryos retrieved, 5 were mature, 4 fertilized, 3 made to transfer day. So we put back all 3. Good Luck:):)  
Well, my cycle is cancelled. My RE has left several messages for her (my donor) and also spoke to her husband and explained how important it is that she let them know what is going on.They are so shocked with her behavior. They have used her twice before and bragged as to what a dedicated donor she was. I know her life is different now, being 25 years old and newly married. She's still so much a child, but she could at least be respectful of others. This situation is not only about her, but a couple that has so much invested in her. So, stopping all meds for now. Will go in next week to pick another donor. Wish me luck next time around. Keep in touch:):) Debra

[babyprayers]

did your donor cancel on you???? I am so sorry If that is the case, I am new to the Ivf and I am using donor eggs., I am in the process of my mock cycle right now, they gave me estrace 3 times a day then I go for an ultra sound next week to make sure my lining is good,. I chose 2 donors, but we are doing a split cycle, where there are 2 reciepients and one donor, it is about 7000 dollars cheaper, and our insurance does not cover. can you tell me your expierence with donor eggs,. is this your first time with donor or was your first IVF with your own eggs.??

[mature momma]

I am 46 and first IVF was with my own eggs. All my test came back so good my RE said even though he normally won't do IVF with your eggs if you are over 43 we could try because of my numbers being so good. Since it didin"t work my he advised us the best chance for us to have a baby is to use a donor. My eggs 2% success vs donor 60-75% success rate.Our insurance doesn't cover either so after paying for the first one we had to make the best decision because we can only afford this one more time. Using a donor we should also have some to freeze so we can try several times if needed and not pay that large fee again. Yes she did change her mind. They say she can do that at any stage of the procedure. We ask about a split cycle but after talking with our RE he advised at my age and since our ins. does not cover this we should use every egg retrieved giving us several tries if needed. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? What do you mean a mock cycle? Maybe since I've been through IVF already its not neccessary. When will you start your real cycle? Read my ? to the doctor over on the fertility forum about donors. Good luck.
Debra :):)

[RunningL8]

Debra -- I'm so sorry about your donor backing out.  I think you're right that she's still very young.  I know when I was in my early to mid-20s, I was not as good at anticipating how I might feel in a given situation; what I mean is that she should have been able to see in advance that this was not a good time for her to donate right now and never have started the process.  Once she did commit, she should have stuck with it.  I do tend to think things happen for a reason (i.e., God has a plan), so in a similar situation, I would probably think maybe there's a different donor who will help me conceive just the right child/children for me to raise.  (My husband and I prayed if there was something really wrong with the baby I was carrying, the pregnancy would not continue; of course, when that actually happened, it was hard and we wondered if we should have prayed that, but still we have to believe maybe it was for the best.)  Not sure if any of this is helpful--again, I'm so very sorry you've had this setback, but I'm glad you'll pick another donor!

[babyprayers]

a mock cycle is just me taking estrogen to see if my lining will build up before they actually do the IVF. I am 39 years old, and because I had been thru 6 IUI's without success my RE felt my own eggs were not of good quality, I really thought long and hard about donor eggs, it was a hard decision for DH and myself, we at first thought maybe we should give this a try with our own eggs. But and thats a Huge BUT..... I dont have that kind of money, and I would be devestated if I worked my butt off to save all this money for IVF which is what I am doing now, only to have it fail, so.. because my chance is so much higher with donor, thats what we are going to do... Yes I guess there is always a possiblity that I will always wonder if my own eggs would have produced a child, but we felt this was our best option, as I am sure you know, constant BFN are very discouraging, so I guess were at the point where we want to increase our chances. You are in my thoughts and hope everything works out for you

[RunningL8]

Hi Debra--I wanted to let you know that my friend is pregnant through the donor eggs IVF.  They implanted 3 embryos.  She's not sure yet how many of the embryos successfully implanted, but at least one did.  It's so good to hear about a successs!

[RunningL8]

[mature momma]

That is GREAT news!!! I'm so happy for her. Keep me updated on her progress and with whats going on with you. Have a great day.  Debra:)