Baby number 3 and not married

[bobbiejobell]

I'm 35 years old 20 weeks pregnant and I'm not married. I have two other children with my exhusband. My current boyfriend/father of the baby have been together over two years so while this wasn't planned, its also, to me not the worst thing in the world. My boyfriend however doesn't agree. He wanted me to have an abortion. When I said no he said he would support me but he really hasn't. He refuses to allow himself to get excited, his sister has down syndrome and hes worried this pregnancy/baby will have complications. I get that his concerns are valid but I also wonder if its just an excuse to not be happy about this. I feel like I am  

[charsweb76]

Bye Bye A hole. You don't need him and it sounds like you would have a more peaceful pregnancy without him. Focus on you. Once the babies born if he doesn't come around then your better off. Its about you and your kiddos.

[bobbiejobell]

Thank you. I am hoping that once the baby is born he will fall in love with him or her and will want to be a great dad, if not I won't stay with him and I won't try to force a relationship. I too believe the baby and I will be fine without him if thats what it comes to. I have an appointment for more genetic testing this Friday, once those results come back and everything is normal I am expecting him to get on board and if he doesnt then the two of us will definitely need to have a talk about things. Thanks again everyone

[1momma4chicks]

To bobbiejobell & ladypanama: You're both better off raising these children alone than with men who aren't willing to man up & be daddies. I've been in your place. My 1st marriage ended the morning my exhb threw me up against the bedroom wall & hit my face when I was 6mo pregnant with my 2nd child. He was no kind of father, & still isn't. His rights were terminated 2yrs ago so my current husband could adopt both boys. At that point, he had not seen them in 10 yrs.
My point in telling you all this is that you can't force someone to be a dad. My ex never was nor ever will be a daddy, despite having fathered (hold onto your seats) SEVEN children. These guys sound like they aren't wanting the role of dad, despite being a father. It's a hard pill to swallow, but one you may have to accept. Trust me when I tell you that your children will be much better off with one parent who is wholly committed to loving them, than having two parents, one of whom is making half-hearted attempts to care for them.
I hope you both find that the birth of the baby brings their love for your child into the front of their mind & heart, & the selfishness to leave. Good luck, & I have a feeling no matter what happens, you are both awesome moms who will do the right thing for your kids. :-)

[lady_panama]

I completely understand how you feel. My fiance, who I've been with for six years told me that if I choose to keep this child he's moving on. We haven't discussed it any further b/c I am not having an abortion so I'm kind of at a stand still with our relationship.

[1sttimemom7]

He will come around give it time

[bobbiejobell]

Thank you. I think so too. He's acting like a 17 year okd boy who got his highschool girlfriend pregnant. We are adults, we both have good jobs and we have been jn a relationship for over two years. We've talked about marriage before, its not like this was a one night stand.  

[Sunflowerpower1621]

He's being selfish. I'm sorry that you have to go through what is the highest and most honorable role on Earth by yourself. It's his loss. Please know that you're in my intentions.

[Wolfeenix]

He sounds very selfish. I've had family members die from cancer but I can either live my life as though I am gonna get cancer and die or I can live my life and cherish what I have.
Sounds like you need to sit down with him and have a good long talk.

[bobbiejobell]

sorry I accidentally hit post before I completed the question.
anyway I feel like I am completely alone in this whole thing. He won't talk about marriage, he won't talk about even moving in together. If I mention any complaints about pregnancy symptoms or anything he makes me feel like its my fault because I chose to keep thr baby. Hes making what should be a happy occasion very miserable for me. Am I being too sensitive? Do you really think his attitude towards the whole situation is because of his concerns or is he just being slefish because he doesn't want this preganacy?