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281219 tn?1219114914

Baby shower for #3 ... online?

I'm not sure what proper etiquette is regarding baby showers for a 3rd child and would like your advice. Here's our situation:

Our 3rd is due mid May and there will be 7 years inbetween our youngest and the baby so we have donated all our old baby items a LONG time ago as we were not thinking we'd have another child. In the meantime we've also moved to a new state and while we've met a lot of people here, they're not close enough friends yet that I would ever in a million years expect, or even feel remotely comfortable with them throwing us a baby shower.

Many of our friends back home have asked if we're going to  have a baby shower back there but because I'm high-risk my travel is already banned so I'm not going to be going back home until after the baby is born.

I had one friend back home suggest doing a virtual baby-shower whereby we register online, say, at Target and then she would send "invitations" to a virtual shower which would mean that our friends and family can shop during the virtual shower time. While selfishly this sounds great, it also feels odd. Part of having a shower is having your friends and family over to celebrate your pending delivery. Turning this celebration into a mere shopping trip seems a little greedy and un-etiquette friendly to me.

The flip side is that we have NOTHING....not a single thing and I would so love our friends and family help to get us prepared for our little guy so I really DO want a shower but I don't want to be tacky about it either.

I was thinking that there might be a way to turn the virtual shower idea into a fun thing so that it doesn't feel like a planned shopping trip...for example what if some of the more fun and less ridiculous shower games are done online? But my heart of hearts tells me to forego the shower this time around.

I'd love honest advice from you gals as I'm so not sure what to do.
10 Responses
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161782 tn?1201217932
I'm so glad you asked this.

One of my friends wants to have a shower for me.  As you guys may recall, I have one DD age 3 1/2 and a boy on the way (24w1d).  My mother in law, whom I love to death, says you shoudn't have one for your second child.  My mother said the same thing.

I feel kind of weird about a shower, but don't want to offend my friend.

Thoughts?
Helpful - 0
166219 tn?1267487238
christina,
What about a "gift card party" ?  
Because Saraya decided to come early my work had to have my shower AFTER she got here and because we had to get stuff for her arrival..that and grandma and I shopped ALOT before she got here...they all got me gift cards :O} I get to shop m or

I love the Baby shower through the mail idea...I was fortunate to fly home for lmy shower there but they too got gift cards because I would have to fly back

I love the bablyl shower through the mail.....
and YES you should have a shower
You could send out a look who's expecting card with your registry info on it
good luck
Helpful - 0
281219 tn?1219114914
Wow, I really like both the announcement idea and the Baby Shower Through the Mail idea!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
All of you women deserve a third baby shower! Why would you think you wouldn't? Especially since there is so much space between your last one and this one.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I threw a baby shower for my niece who lived cross country. She, like you, moved from the west to the east. I sent out invitations and explained that since we couldn't all fly back east for a shower that everyone could send me a gift for her and then I proceeded to pack everything up and had it shipped to her. (A really decent price through UPS) Granted, it was all clothes and blankets and nothing heavy ( I think the bumbo seat was the heaviest item). Anyway, my nieces husband was in on it and when the day came he gave her the "Baby Shower Through The Mail" box...... she was so surprised and and just loved the whole idea.
Helpful - 0
208686 tn?1293030503
Ohhh.. good idea about the birth announcement with the info on it!
Helpful - 0
167664 tn?1203972620
I don't really have any advice because my friends have insisted on having a baby shower for me and this is my third child.  They all feel that this baby is a miracle and like a first child since my other children are 12 and 18.  I am excited to see all my friends and family but am uncomfortable with the whole presents and gifts thing.  Plus, financially, my husband and I can truly afford to get more than this child will ever need so I felt like inviting a ton of people to a shower where the common expectation is that they bring a gift makes me very uncomfortable.  Nevertheless, my shower is next Saturday and I'm sure it will be great.  

My only advice would be that I truly think that most people want to get you something for your baby.  That's the feeling I get anyway. You could always make it like an upcoming birth announcement instead of an invitation with the information of where you are registered included.  That way, it's an announcement with the other info included just in case anyone wants to give a gift.

Helpful - 0
208686 tn?1293030503
Yeah, about the those that do can and those that doesn't feel comfortable won't, My MIL asked me also If I was registered anywhere and I told her and so if she tells people then it won't be coming from me. It would make me feel uncomfortable telling people where I'm registered at because then they might think that I *want* them to get me something, or it could make them feel obligated!

Another thing I'm kind of dealing with is my sister wants to give me lots of her baby things but she has a girl... Brayden will I'm sure look so cute in anything but I'm not going to stick pink on him! hehehe
Helpful - 0
281219 tn?1219114914
Well....we are now in Georgia and ALL of our family (with the exception of my mother who moved out here with us when we came 6 months ago) lives in Southern California. So our shower out here would be, well, me, my DH and my mom! That's our conundrum...:0)

Maybe what we could do is just quietly register and then if anyone asks then, and only then, would we volunteer where we are registered at. That way those that want to get things can and those that don't won't feel uncomfortable?

Thanks for the ideas!
Helpful - 0
208686 tn?1293030503
Christina-
Lots of my friends from when I had my son (10 yrs ago) has moved to different states. My husband's family lives 4 hours away while my family lives here. So my daughter and sisters are having me a baby shower here, my friends wanted to know if I am registered online, (which I have at Target, Walmart, Babies r Us just to name a few) for them to buy things and have them sent, and my husbands family is having me a babyshower after I have Brayden. So it is hopefully going to work out that way. As for games I'm not sure how that would work although it does sound like fun!

How far do you live from your family? Is it possible that they come to you? Or maybe you could have a baby shower/ speaker phone deal where your family has one and then whom ever is coming when you have the baby could bring the things to you? Just an idea...

Helpful - 0
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