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First off, let me tell you I honestly believe this person is a good mom, but we are going out this weekend and she said a friend of hers was going to get some cocaine before we went dancing. She is breastfeeding a 7 month old (pumping actually and feeding her expressed milk) and said she would just not give her any expressed milk for a day or so. Also- her mother in law is watching the child so it's not like she was planning on going out and drinking and/or doing drugs and going home to her child- but still, wouldn't it affect the child even after a day? Any help and tips would be great- as I'd like to tell her not to do it at all, but if she's going to i want to know exactly how long she needs to wait. Also- this is not a chronic problem (it doesn't seem) and she said she's not done this since before she got pregnant- so not sure why she needs to now- but at any rate, if she does a couple lines..how long would you advise her to wait? Thanks
Cocaine stays in the system for 3-4 days, normally. HOWEVER...your friends sounds very immature. She needs to think about the possible repurcussions of her choices. Maybe she thinks doing a couple of lines once in awhile is "recreational"...but is it worth the risk? Cocaine is ILLEGAL. What if she got caught for possession? What if she had a car accident on the way home and was arrested for driving under the influence? She is a MOTHER NOW. What would happen to her child if she ended up in jail and/or on probation? Can she afford the court fees? Is one night of partying worth the possible negative consequences? To be honest, your friend sounds like an idiot...and if I were you, I'd stay away from her. I'd want no part in something as stupid as what you gals are planning.
I agree with both of you. And I took Tricia's advise- I cancelled my "night out". I am going on a "date" with my husband instead. I told her how i felt about it, so hopefully she'll take my advise (and yours). Thanks for not being judgemental towards me, but you gave me some courage to do what i knew was right.
Let your friend know that that cocaine can be trasnferred in the breast milk. Also it will remain in the breastmilk for greater than 36 hours. Let her know that this could kill her baby and that it has killed other babies. She could give that baby a heart attack. Sometimes you can get the mentality that one time is okay and before you know it you're up to 10 or more times. Maybe that's all she needs to know.
When there is a child involved, that should be the number one priority. I don't know that I agree with you that you're friend is a good mom; you can't be a good mom and then endanger your children. She consciously aware of her actions and that it could affect her child. And if you see that this is a regular habit of hers...you should probably call Child Protective Services. Maybe that will be enough to scare her some sense into her. I'd call CPS.
I am glad that you cancelled your date with her...it would only send her the wrong message.....you are in agreement with her behavior. I am VP of Clinical Services (a therapist for over 12 yrs) with a substance abuse and mental health facility in Florida. A part of the residential population consist of female residents that are pregnant and or just delivered. These women seek help during pregnancy to avoid their babies being born with substances n their bodies in an attempt to avoid Children and Families removing the child from them but some resume drug use after the birth of the baby. My staff provides the parenting class/training for these moms and continually discourages breastfeeding if the mom is using or have used within a certain time frame of delivery.
It sounds to me as if she may need some form of substance abuse treatment.....doesn't sound like "recreational use" at all.
If you get the opportunity, tell her:
Cocaine is found in breast milk up to 2½ to 3 days after use. It is passed to th baby during breast feeding. When a baby breast feeds from a mother who uses cocaine the baby might have:
Sudden onset of vomiting.
Diarrhea., irritability, poor response to light and inability to focus eyes, trembling of arms and legs, high-pitched cry, seizures, strokes (bleeding in the brain) and a 5 to 10-times greater chance of crib death (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS).
Sorry to get lengthy< I am not being judgemental at all....this topic just tugs at my heart. I respect the fact that you sought advice on such a controvesial topic.
Ok. This is a really difficult post for me to answer. Let me start by saying that I am very glad your friend is thinking about her child in terms of breastfeeding. Chances are her drug use will not impact her child...this time. I work with momma's etc. who are using drugs and working hard to raise a child. It's not a pretty sight, and most lose their kids. For the most part they don't believe their "occsional" drug use is a problem. A drug like cocaine is highly addictive, and even if it wasn't, not a great idea for a mom going home to her children. I also am not judgemental...but please, tell you friend, she is on a very bad path. One that could easily lead to her losing her kids. And God forbid those drugs ever reached her child through breast milk. It's time to be responsible. Please, if she can still make the decision to not use drugs, ask her not to. If it has reached the point she can't stop using, ask her to seek help. No, push her hard to seek help. I wish you and her well. Amanda
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