Community ages - NEW RULES

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

This group is for those who are 35+ years old.

We will be limiting this community to 35+ years old exclusively, with few exceptions (high risk pregnancies, for example). If those exceptions cause problems, then we will address those as they rise. Please, PLEASE, PM me (click on my name here, choose Send Message), and let me know if there is an issue if you are on a mobile device, or use the report feature if you are on a computer or on the full site on a mobile device. (Do not use the Leave a Note option - that is public.)

It helps no one if people are insulting others. We are a support site. There is no room in support for people to call other members immature, insult life choices, life situations, etc. Perhaps they aren't the choices you'd make, but that's okay. I've yet to meet a perfect person.

Support is GIVE and TAKE. It isn't just about giving. We need to make sure that everyone is in a safe place to get the support and info they need, and right now, this community doesn't feel like a safe place for our members that are 35+.

A note - if you are close to 35, or pregnant at 34, and will deliver at 35, etc., you are free to post where you feel most comfortable.

I hope this helps, and I hope we can get back to the wonderful, helpful caring support you all provide each other.

Emily

[Dave_MHModerator]

Unfortunately, I don't have a specific estimate on any changes to the app, but I have reiterated the desire for just such a change to our app team :)

Thanks so much to all of you for your continued participation! Have a fantastic day!

[mommy_ivy8707]

Hey Ladies I am 19 and do post on here for first time moms because I have two boys and am married and also I never post about drama so do not get up set when I post on here

[kj_skibum]

Hi Dave. When will we see the relationship tab on app

[Dave_MHModerator]

Just a quick note - there is indeed a Pregnancy Relationships community now ( http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Pregnancy-Relationships/show/1854 ) that is specifically for discussing relationship issues; not only with significant others but also with other family members, friends, etc. If anyone sees a relationship issue in any of the other forums, we (the mods) would be supremely appreciative if you would report that particular post as miscategorized so that we can get that moved to the correct forum as quickly as possible.

One more small note - from a terms of use perspective, there is absolutely nothing wrong with presenting alternative viewpoints. All that is necessary is that viewpoint (and any continued opposition to said viewpoints) are stated in a non-confrontational, polite, and generally not rude or offensive way.

Thanks to you all for your continued understanding, support and participation!

[kj_skibum]

I am 43 and this is my first pregnancy. I believe that there are women under 35 who like this forum because it is a bit more focused to the discussion of pregnancy vs. relationship issues.

It seems that no matter the age group, there are pregnant women who are having issues with the father's and they want/need support... Why not create 1 more board for this site called "Pregnant Needing Relationship Support" and move all women from all age groups who have a need for relationship susport to that board?

We must also remember that when a person posts thier stuff on a public board forum asking for advice, feedback etc. that we must be willing to hear from all viewpoints, not just the ones that agree with our own or re affirm our own. As long as there is no derogatory name calling, I see being allowed to view differing opinions as a positive means of education and growth. If people only tell you what you want to hear, it can jeopardize the baby's health....we're mom's now and have to be willing to learn from others

[mhv]

Thanks Emily!!!

[mommyof3goingon4]

bump

[mylittlemiracle418]

Ok Thank you! That's understandable!

[Kirstie_MHModerator]

That's absolutely fine.  Our primary purpose here is to allow moms age 35+ to get the support they need, and as long as other activity doesn't interfere, it's not a problem - and you are welcome to comment on other's threads.  Unfortunately what sometimes happens is that this group gets overrun with  questions from moms in the younger age groups, and that leaves our 35+ moms answering questions, without getting the support that THEY need.  

[mylittlemiracle418]

I'm 24 and will be 25 when I have my son. I like coming to all age groups to see if there is something I dont know to know for myself. I never really comment. I hope to still be able to do that because you learn alot from mom's that already have children(this being my first).

[kiki24115]

Thank you

[Emily_MHManager]

We had a period of time in the app where it said Pregnancy 18-24, Pregnancy 25-34, etc., and there was some confusion. It now says "years old", so hopefully that will clear it up. I will check with our team to see if we can get it added on the site, too.

Thanks everyone.

Emily

[spade22]

You might consider renaming the forum to something like pregnancy : maternal  age 35+.  Pregnancy 35+ has been interpreted by some to mean a forum for those with a baby with gestational age of 35+ weeks.

[TMMB]

Emily, point taken and well said.

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

So it appears that I needed to clarify some things.

The comments about being immature, etc. - those aren't supportive, but they are also insults and against our Terms of Use. They aren't allowed. The MedHelp site has over 300 forums (we aren't just the app, for those of you on the app), and these rules apply to everyone. If you haven't read them, or need a refresher, here they are - http://www.medhelp.org/termsofuse.htm  ; It seems like some of you need at least a refresher.

We can't restrict those under 35 from coming in this group, but we are taking steps to lower the rate of this happening. Some of these changes are technical and require our engineering team to make the changes so they may take some time. While that is happening, we will need your help. Instead of reacting negatively, let us know when this is an issue, as it was in this thread. I asked you all to PM me, and only one of you did. We can't be everywhere, and will be relying on you to help us. We hope you do.

We need everyone to help. We hope you will.

Again, PM me if there are any issues.

Emily

[CutieMommy2be]

i was 34 the first few months of this pregnany and now 35. I stick to 25-34 age group and have not came here except once or twice. Now at almost 7 month's im 35 so i will go to both. Glad this post said that is ok :)

[TMMB]

Dragonwings, I don't think it's enforcable. But hopefully if they make it a rule, instead of just a guideline, enough women will honor it. Perhaps we can keep the thread bumped.

[Dragonwings]

I'm curious. How are they going to restrict the post from the younger ages. Right after this was posted, there was still a post in this forum from a younger poster. Surely they don't have time to go through every single post. So women don't even have their age posted to their profile.

[schenner2]

Great since I am only 30 I am stuck with the "baby daddy" drama club! Not meant to be disrespectful however, I hate wading through the drama to find questions/info I am actually interested in.

[TMMB]

Thank you.

[hersheyma]

It's not that big of a deal....i like reading all comments and  i don't know why this age group think the convo here is way more mature...mostly ppl complaining ..either way I'll still skim through

[mrsjoseph22]

People "bump" there comments if they have posted it for hours and no one reply in hopes that maybe someone who just came on will see their post and respond

[slm39]

Thank you! Like the first two comments I had almost given up. I'm happy to help out in the social forum all ages. It would have been a sad day when most of the 35+ left the 35+ forum!!

[MillyVaz]

I really didn't care that much about any inmature comment. I like to read what everyone has to say expert or not. I'm 38 yrs and this is my first pregnancy. Sometimes people takes to personal the comments and it should not be like that. I enjoy to much being in this group and I thanks everyone for their advices. By the way, The only comments that I found very inmature are those that post one word like Bump.