Our Pregnancy Support Forum is for women 35 years and older. This is where you can communicate with other women who share your interest in pregnancy and childbirth issues. This forum is not monitored by medical professionals.
Hello I'm 45 bit of a MC history just found out am pregnant almost two weeks after transfer (iM Spain) of two 'adopted' embryo's which were surplus A grade from someone else's IVF using donor egg and sperm. If I get all the way I will be 46 giving birth first time. Crucially this time I have good multiple medical support, drug support and I retired from my job! Mad but after holding dead son who only made 4 months gestation I had to keep going there was just such a bond! So here I am scared and hormonal but excited and hopeful :)
Ohh I just saw your reply so nice as I thought i was a bit alien, I know I'm doing it different and so many years along! Thank you for seeing me x
I worked it out as End of May, I think they will go for C section so it's mid may I suppose. I have private scan booked in two,weeks, I have to do this as part of my contract agreement with Institute Marques, but was nice to get call from consultant congratulating me, they are very happy, it keeps their stats up too!
Got blood checks next week with my health provider,the hospital where I delivered my son who passed away at 4 months gestation, they remembered me and were very kind and I visualise giving birth there to put right the sadness I think of.
I'm being cautious but quietly happy, friend and family know as I had to arrange help on our farm to go to Spain and they are happily whispering the news though they know it's a long shot, but it's great as Im not allowed to do anything! It's lovely they are so happy, even my pet Sow seems to know as she runs her snout on my hand through the gate! I've delivered all her babies ! Anyway I'd better stop chatting as this is turning into a blog!! X
I am so happy for you! I can imagine how you must feel, as I'm a bit younger than you and am also feeling kind of isolated with this. Very impressive that you went to Spain! Did you get some holiday time in too? I think with modern medicine and the health knowledge we have in our hands these days that chances are better than ever. Keep in touch!
Just read about your journey and very excited and thinking of you. I too am 46 and going to Greece for embrio transfer with DE though will be my DH sperm. I am very lucky to have older children but lost my first DD to major heart defects when she was 5 months old. that was many years ago but has taken so long to recover emotionally. but i wanted to say that on the positive side losing my Sophie made me a very grateful and loving mum and that is what you will be like. Sleep deprevation and all the little hurdles will be nothing once you have your baby. i will be thinking of you . Manda x
Huge congratulations to you! You and are in a similar situation. I am 43, also with a long history of miscarriage. I do have one little boy born just before I turned 41. My husband and I are also now waiting for our donor match for embryo adoption. We live in Canada but are going to the US for it. I can't wait! I am so happy for you. Isn't it wonderful to live in a world where we have options like this available to us? Congrats again and I wish you all the best!
Hello just to say yes modern medicine is amazing! I got my head around what I'm doing as it historically has been done in the dairy industry, farmers do sometimes by frozen eembryos for their cows. My husband did once but it did not work, I also have bantam hens and have a little orange one who goes desperately broody every summer, I popped other birds egs under her as normal and she was delighted to hatch chicks, none wer hers but she was content, I thought then that it's been going on for years, imdecidedntonbe open about it and promote it, I'm very lucky, it's early days and I will be anxious until a birth actually happens, it really helps that I know the egg donor was only 30 !
I agree that I was made more determined to do this when I met my son, I remember the tears of the radiographer when she saw my son was dead, deep down I had guessed as all day the hospital could not get a heart beat, the radiographer had lost her child at 16 weeks gestation years before and gone on to have a healthy child, we cried together. I could not let him go immediately, I had waited 20 years since my first MC, I kept him inside me 10 more days until I felt ready. Then I was induced in a private room of the maternity hospital. They made him look beautiful as possible and I held his hands, looked in his mouth and at his eyes, I had so little time to absorb the person I had wanted for years and loved so deeply for four months of his gestation. Now I'm ok about it, but for two years I would not want to be near anyone pregnant. My greatest help was my closest friend who gave birth a month before I found out my baby had died. She hesitantly placed her baby girl on my lap and allowed a close bond to grow. This gamble proved to be the greatest healer, her daughter is now 3 and this week her mother tried to explain that I could not pick her up and cuddle her as I had a baby growing, we all fell about laughing when her daughter announced she did not want me to have a baby, she wanted cuddles!. Eventually the loss began to ease. I worked to loose weight and saw there was a chance still there for me. I thought about Greece, but our local airport has more regular flights to Barcelona. Recently I considered using a surrogate which is almost impossible in the UK, I found out that Greece legally allows this but Spain won't as suragacy is illegal there. I wish you all well and hope all is well for the future, this has been so helpful to pour out things x
Wow so you are going to the USA to do this, it is so exciting, I read that some States in the USA apply strict adoption criteria for embryo adoption which seems stressful. Spain do not, there is no waiting time it's awesome really, we did not choose our donor as I was worried about matching time, We are both blue eyed and the embryos have brown or green eyed genetics. I expected to get frozen embryos, but 2 weeks after I started the womb preparation drugs and had a scan of 9.8mm for the lining we had a call to get out very quickly, their was only one flight to get there in time for the transfer and we lucky to find a local hotel, I did not do much other than bed rest!
I think some of us are considering embryo adoption-in my case, I am going to do the California Conceptions Program in California. Its a unique program,usually not a long wait, and they 'match' you with a pool of egg and sperm donors. You get three transfers for $9000, and it is guaranteed and their success rates are great. I am comfortable with them after reading so many positive reviews. The only thing stopping me is finances- I am still saving up for it. I have had two m/c and getting tired of dealing with IF and I dont have fertility coverage and will not do another IVF cycle and have it not result in a live birth. But how exciting for you-congratulations!
Wow that sounds a good package, the one thing I did before treatment was have a womb check and was really shocked at a load of polyps being there, they were not visable on day 22 but they were on day 7 of my cycle. my Gygny man said that their removal was needed for a pregnancy and the wound would heal and leave new fresh surface ideal for implantation. It all cost and it's scary but I've no choice. However I'm now 21 days from transfer and the pregnancy blood hormone is rising, doubled in last 48 hours so today I'm still pregnant, first scan in two weeks so fingers crossed ;))
I am glad you feel better letting your emotion out . i know that is how I coped with losing Sophie. I am so glad you have got love and support around you and that everyone is giving you the chance to put your feet up. I have not told anyone in my or DH family as concerned what they will think as i am sooo old! Lol. If and when we are blessed I will tell them then but it is very hard keeping all my emotions to myself. I am sorry not reply earlier but not quit sure how to navigate round this site but it is really helping me reading about everyone who is travelling on this journey. I too considered Spain but found Embio medical centre on the internet. The specialist there was on the original ivf team that delivered Louise Brown ( the first ever test tube baby) I live in UK too. I hope evrything goes well. keep us posted x
I'm starting to look at bothe embryo or donor egg, I would go with embryo adoption but my husband would prefer his sperm, we are also looking at spain as an option, it will cost us around 6200 Ed for donor eggs plus any meds, and you get all the eggs harvested at that time, this may put us in the position to help another couple or two as we would then donate any useable embryos that we have left over, in australia at the ivf clinic that is in my area 1 egg cost $6000, we wouldnt have the travell expense but usuing/getting a donor egg here is alot more complicated and takes longer, I found this site for anyone who maybe interested www. ivftreatmentabroad.com
Hi Stacey I am going to Athens to have DE embrio transfer with DH sperm as he got it checked as part of his tests but at 46 think this my only chance of having his baby I have been married before and very lucky to have 3 grown up children though lost my first DD when she was 5 months old due to heart problems Been speaking to Carrieann who recomended I cotact you as you very knowledgable .I did cosider going to Spain but found a clinic in Athens called Embio. it seems to have good success with DE. I cant get DE ivf in UK cos of age and fact I have older children and lack of donors due to law here. We dont have much money so took out a loan (for a new car) The meds cost me £96 english pounds inc delivery and the treament iinc DE cost £4500. plus flights and hotel etc. I never thought about offering any spare embrios for adoption but think it a really good idea. I am sterting my Suprecur injections on 26th of this month( wow just 3 days) I am really finding inspiration from all the fantastic ladies on this site as I have not really got anyone to talk to apart from one friend , although my sister in law is also being suportive she is very busy so dont have opportunity to let all the worries and excitement out. not told anyone else. Just hoping they will share the excitement if we are succesful. I am sending you my best wishes too.
Ok I guess I feel like the matriarch here. I am of AMA (advanced maternal age) just got married in June to my DH and we have been together for almost 4 years. He had a vascectomy and I am well you guessed it peri-menopausal. I know our options were slim but I started researching egg donation in Canada. It is possible but kind of annoying as paying the donor is how do you say this "illegal" anyway don't even get me going. Well we found an excellent agency and because of my age we had to go to a clinic in Toronto. Sad thing is we started this a couple years ago but put it on hold due to other things going on. Anyway, here is where we are at now;
We just had our IVF/ICS on September 12 via egg donor and DH's sperm. We had our 3dt on September 15, 2012. We transferred 2 perfect 8 blastomere eggs and my god we almost cried when I saw them they are so cute. DH was in with me holding my hand it was so amazing to watch everything. It was a little pinchy when the catheter was inserted but otherwise it was ok. I had to go pee immediately then went and rested for about an hour. I am now 9dp3dt and I did a couple of pregnancy tests as I went. Guess what we got BFP!!!! On day 6 no less and now I am day 9. I was feeling lots of symptoms sore boobs, tired, veins on my chest, peeing like crazy even at 4 am (when I did the test by the way). Even felt nauseas this morning so I am really hopeful this will work. I am so excited and just waiting for my BETA on September 29th. This is so exciting. Lot's of baby dust to everyone. I will keep you posted.
Thank you so much for your support. It is a second marriage for us as well and my husband is a bit younger than me. We both have older children all together we have 6 kids. Our kids ages are; 31, 27, 25, 14, 10 and 9. We have one daughter and she is the youngest. We really wanted a baby of our own since we met. We just couldn't stop thinking about it and lo and behold here were are. It cost us a fortune too over $30,000.00 Canadian. We have one grandchild that just turned 1 September 15, day of transfer. Maybe this will bring us luck. Do you mind if I ask where you live? We live in Manitoba in Canada. There are age restriction laws in our Province, thankfully they don't apply to all of Canada.
You must be counting down the days to September 26th and you must be on a bunch of meds too. Their not too bad I am getting used to it. Injections are a little tricky in your own bum but use 22 guage needles and 1 inch they are the best. Not sure the measurements in Greece. Sounds like you have been through a lot too.
Good luck and lots of baby dust to you for the 26th. God Bless and little miracles do happen every day xoxo
Hi yes i live in uk. not started meds til 26th. Got to inject in stomach so at lest will be able to reach!! lol. Then off to Athens for transfer sometime in October. My oldest DS is soon to be a dad. It a bit bitter sweet as their relationship very bumpy. She has been unfaithful to him with his friends. When he told me she expecting (and it was not planned) I had to fight back tears. But he is very happy so I will just hope everything will be fine. It difficult because she already got a little girl who she has stopped from visiting her own dad. As their relationship so shaky I worried about how it all work out but i keep quiet and stay in background . Sure it will be all good . Back to conentrating on us now as they grown ups!! In uk also age restrictions from what i could find out and waiting list for DE. One fertility clinic i contacted would do treatment but it involved sending us abroad for DE transfer and would cost an extra £3000 pound so we thought we would cut out the middle man and save a bit of money. Wow!! you have quite a brood. How do older ones feel about you being a mature mama? it worries me what mine will think but my DH is 10 yrs younger than me and no children so want more than anything to make him a dad. Good luck to all of us xx
I choose Spain as cant do in UK and our local airport has frequent cheap flights, I was already being treated in Spain for IVF when we decided to go for cheaper option of embryo adoption, hubby's sperm not so good and he had moved on from feeling a need to be biological father so it seemed natural to go back to them. I really took to the Catalonian area and the friendly Catalonians and went out alone for a polyp removal in 2010. I love their website on embryo adoption and that was it. :))
Wow well done just shows its still possible, I've had two early bleeds since embryo transfer Aug 31st but resting and having another blood check this week, this is my 7th conception but first using donor embryos so hoping I get to full term this time ! Best wishes to you from Lise :)) ps I'm 45 and 8 months! Live Somerset UK
That is amazing about the refund...that was not an option for us here in Canada. I am kind of scared to say my age but I will begin by saying we started when I was 48 and I am now 51 my DH is 46. I am super healthy and no medical problems at all. I was told I have a very nice uterus to conceive. No problems other than one tubal pregnancy years ago. I never had any problems other than that and my husbands sperm is excellent. This was our first DE/ICSI/IVF transfer and I got a BFP!!! I am 10dp3dt We have not told our children but my sister knows and so does my niece who I am very close to. Apparently the word is getting around the family. I don't think my family will have any issue as they are all grown up the older ones and living all over Canada. One in Edmonton with his own family and baby girl and one in Vancouver. I think sons take things easier than girls. They will be a little worried of course but they will be happy I think. We kind of hinted at our plan sort of and my daughter-in-laws will be happy I am sure. Sons are different than daughters. They are not so judgemental is my experience. My little 9 year old daughter will be thrilled and my step sons will be just fine too. All in all I think it will be ok. Just counting down the weeks now 37 to go as I am 3 weeks and 4 days lol. It's kind of cute actually so early. Such a long way to go and so much can happen xo
Good luck to all of you doing this! One of my dearest friends received donor eggs after many miscarriages. She had twin boys! They are amazing and she is so happy. I think she really appreciates those boys more than most Moms would. I know that sounds strange but she went through so much to have them and it just makes my heart soar to see them thrive. Again...I wish you the same happiness.
Wow that's fantastic my sisters teacher got pregnant mid fifties by accident and had twins its fine when your healthy so hope it goes well I'm not really to healthy but lost weight to do it and retired to potter around farm helping a little bit and do strategy stuff for business as stress is my problem and hope will keep this pregnancy all way! Still little spotting but trying to not fall apart! good luck to everyone xxx
Hi there how are you feeling. I think spotting not neccesarily bad. I am thinking of you and hoping all is well. I bet you cant wait till your scan. I am starting burselin(suprecur) injections tomorrow. Am a bit worried in case of allergic reaction, but sure it will be fine. I have to get a scan and E2 test on day 3/4 of period. Was reading your post wher you said your uterous lining was ready and you had to get to Spain right away. This is worrying me as I can only get flight from London and only limited flights to Athens. When you had the scan how long did they give you to get to the hospital? Also have you had a look in the Pregnancy over 45 forum on medhelp? Lots of lovely ladies with beautiful babies , a lot of them DE . Take care . Manda x
Hello they gave me three days notice, bit of nightmare for you but maybe try looking at connections for Bristol or Birmingham airport?
Bad news for me had good beta but progesterone dropping, Consultant told me to up progesterone, Spain said not to, I had a huge bleed clots everything two days ago, felt wretched, beta still reasonable Wed so waiting for private scan. I can't bear to go to open early MC clinic for free scan as have to wait hours and all staff know me well it's beyond me! i was last there three years ago with bleed at 10 weeks and there was a crowd of younger ladies waiting all miserable too, one bloke got so wound up security had to remove him! its next week keeping going with meds just I case. But I'm pessimistic ! I don't care about the money anymore just had enough of it all, I've got a friend on Facebook who keeps posting her new scan pictures, I am nice to her, but want to scream :( nevermind !
Anyway if it is bad news gonna pressurise private consultant for ideas and get ready for next round as we paid for 3 goes so may be getting monnies worth. If I've lost again that's 7 MC but at least it was an early one, what gets me angry is that everything was perfect and prepared and tested, but I'm getting used to disappointment ! Does really help to post this I'd never dare on Facebook so big smile to you x
You poor thing, you must be gutted. I dont want to give you false hope but it still may not be the end of the pregnancy. If you had two embrios implanted you may have lost one. I know a friend who had what she thought was a mc and went on to have little boy. I am praying one has stuck. Whatever the outcome I am glad you are not giving up . It is so difficult going through this < putting ourselves through so much emotional and physical stress. Our lives on hold praying for a miracle. Does your friend on facebook know what you are going through and your al consuming need to be a mum. I expect she does not realise the pain you are in and is engrossed in her own happiness. Because of it being such a sensitive subject we keep it close to our hearts and dont tell people how we feel. Thank god for this site. really helps to talk to each other and give support. Keep me posted. Baby dust and hugs to you. Manda x
Thank u - u are so right, I can't share this anywhere else. These sites are so helpful. I'm not too good at using all bits of them can't load photo yet, but will keep going.
I'm not giving up, no way got a hug of my staffy dog tonight he always knows and tomorrow my best mates 3 year old is coming over for few hours which always helps me smile. Life is a challenge, it's a race and even if I come last in it I will have tried very hard. Like you said might be a little life left so we keep going!
Hello! oh dear looks like I MC'd one and that was the heavy bleeding, the scan showed the second implanted but no longer growing, so now I'm waiting ..... After two weeks I will be given drugs to expell what's left...... Then there will be a round of tests, Spain are ringing me this week and no doubt they will want to do tests too! I went for Accupuncture to cheer me up and be positive and that worked but I have trouble sleeping. I asked my best friend if I could look after her 3 year old for a few hours and that really helped too, it's lovely to have a little one to cuddle. I have an awful lot of pets too so tending them keeps me sane. My oldest cockerel, (Fredy), is feeling his age so he is in the hall sat in a cat basket and it warms me to see him there safe and cosy. I don't know what the future holds I am coping but have lost my public confidence, I will keep going with another few goes but I seriously worry about my mental health! The only thing I can say is that at least it was early and not 4 months like the last one, (my own in 2009), or I definitely would be losing it! My husband found some cuddly teddies and hid them in the bed, he is a nutter but it was funny that he thinks of such cute things! Writing this helps but I sound mad ! Xx
You poor thing, You are not mad it is totally normal considering what you have and are still going through!! I dont know if you do any physical work or exercise but when my baby, Sophie died of heart problems I was very, very depressed and suffered panic attacks. I did not know how to cope and was put on anti depressants that made me feel even worse. I cant tell you how bleak that was at the time. Anyway i found a relaxation, self hypnosis cd and played it and it really helped. As for excercise. I did some research and found out the terrible panic attacks( that stopped me going oit to the shops) are caused by adrenilin that is released in your body and does not have any way of getting out. So I got myself a puppy . Every time i felt the stress coming on I took (Roxy ) for a walk. But you have to walk very fast to release the stress and get rid of the adrenilin. It really helps me cope with depression but i know i am lucky to be fairly fit, though I have got scolliosis and a little arthritis in my spine. I,m not telling you what to do but these couple of things helped me. Plus you sound like you have a very loving, supportive DH. I am really hoping you can stay positive and keep trying. I am thinking of you . Take care Manda x
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