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How can I help along a pending miscarriage?
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How can I help along a pending miscarriage?

I first of all want to thank so many of you that have been supportive of my pregnancy ... it was an exciting and nervous time as it was the first time I'd ever become pregnant and I'm 39. It was quite monumental for my husband and I. Being "high risk" from the get-go (due to age), I was a nervous mom-to-be. Weekly blood work showed a good HCG and progesterone (at first) and then the levels started slowing ... not doubling. Our first ultrasound 2 weeks ago showed an embryo that was 6w/4d rather than 7w/2d and an enlarged yolk sack. The doctor told us times were tumultuous and we were in a waiting game. I found support through this forum, my family and research saying that sometimes women hold pregnancies with low HCGs, as long as they're increasing, and that yolk sacks under 8mm were not proven to lead to miscarriage, per se. The progesterone supplements made my levels rise nicely, and right before my final ultrasound  yesterday, the doctor was strongly encouraged by my nice strong rise in HCG. However, when we went to take a look at the embryo ... the heartbeat was gone and it had not grown. The placenta was healthy and putting off a lot of HCG but it too was starting to break down. I was sent to the hospital for the best ultrasound technology to confirm the prognosis of "embryonic demise". Now I await my body catching up with the facts.

I am sad but I am a bit relieved too. I felt I knew something was not right and I now feel more in touch with my body. I do not feel responsible or incapable or betrayed. I do throw a bit of self-pity around with a "life is not fair" statement ... that's overused I'm sure. We all know nothing is certain and that life is not fair or follows our rules. Learning that lesson over and over again throughout my life has never made it easier to swallow though. My husband and I are thankful for one another and our strength together, as well as separately. I personally do not feel that I've lost a "baby" as I never made it to week 10. While not a chemical pregnancy, in my mind it was a hormonal amassing that didn't lead to anything.

The doctor is optimistic for my becoming pregnant again soon. As am I. I hope next time (God willing) that I will feel more connected to my pregnancy and calm in knowing it's viability. I hope I will be allowed to be that clued in. I would like this new path to begin as quickly as possible. However, I must wait for my miscarriage to become a physical reality. I do believe I would like this all to occur naturally and on my body's terms because I personally feel I need to respect my body. I would however like to encourage the bleeding to begin so that I can move forward towards a new place. Is there anything that I can do to do this? I was thinking of regaining my physical activity from 2 months back which was quite demanding, going back to my deep tissue massages and enjoying the sauna and whirlpool. I may be naive in thinking this will help anything other than my mental health. I would like to know your opinion.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. for being such plugged in women, so open to share and for being active in this community. This has really helped me.


Tags: D&C
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10 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage at 16/17 weeks. My doctor put me on a perscription of Cytotec to help the miscarriage complete naturally. Took about 1 1/2 weeks because we started on a low dose and gradually increased. Best wishes and hang in there. I've had two healthy pregnancies and babies since!!!
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399393_tn?1257516681
I'm very sorry you're going through this. I don't know what to say other than be strong. Everything happens for a reason. I pray that things will naturally speed up for you. Hang in there.
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Avatar_n_tn
Oh damn I'm very sorry that your u/s didn't reveal happier news.  Just like mine yesterday, I knew in my heart of hearts before I saw it on the screen, that the heart had stopped.  Didn't make it any less devastating for me though when the doctor confirmed it.

I was only 9 weeks along, but I feel much more strongly about this than I expected to.  I am referring to it as the death of my 'baby' - even though I know it was barely past the embryonic stage.  I had known I was pregnant for a month - a roller coaster ride of emotions and worries and guarded elation.  I went from shocked to scared to absolutely thrilled at the prospect of having another baby at my age.  It would have been the most welcome little baby and I am mourning not only the loss of the baby, but the loss of my fertility.  I know that sounds overly melodramatic - but at the age of 42 (will be 43 in a month) I will not choose to put myself through this again.  So, that ends the chapter of having babies in my life.  I find that hard - mother nature is a ***** sometimes!!

I am very lucky - I have two lovely daughters that I love more than anything.  When they were little I was not 'in the moment' with them due to post partum depression, stress of living overseas far away from family and support system, with a husband who travels constantly, and I was unhappy.  I know it would have been different this time and this little baby would have been a gift that would have shifted the dynamic in my family and all of us would have benefited from it.

I know it was early days and these things are always touch and go until the end of those endless first 13 weeks.  But for me, it feels the same regardless of how far along I was.  It is over, I am no longer pregnant, nor will I ever be pregnant again, and I have lost a baby.  

I elected to have a d and c right away because we are travelling in a few days and I had no desire to be awaiting a miscarriage while away from home.  Otherwise I would have chosen to let nature take its course.

You have every chance of going on to have a very happy and healthy pregnancy and I wish you all the best.  

I haven't answered your question regarding how to help a miscarriage along though.  Sorry. But definitely go back to doing whatever it is you do that makes you feel mentally and physically balanced.

I suppose sending out love to someone you've never met is as irrational as calling a little ball of tissue a baby, but there you have it.  Some things just are not logical.  So I send you love.
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480331_tn?1310407129
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this.  I wish you a speedy recovery and I'm pleased to hear your spirit is optimistic!  There is never an explanation as to why these things happen to us...I'm sorry, I can't recommend anything to encourage bleeding to resolve your miscarriage, but I'm sure some of these ladies on this forum can share their knowledge and experiences with you.  Best wishes, and keep us posted with TTC!
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377493_tn?1356505749
I also am so sorry to hear this news.  I will say your attitude and strength are incredible, and while disappointed and of course sad about it, you have such a healthy approach.  Keep that optimistic attitude and you will be pregnant again in no time I am sure!!

I am not honestly sure there is anyway to help things along naturally.  Essentially, your body has to "catch up" and recognize its not pregnant any more in order for the physical process to start.  I am sure you already know that though.  I honestly have never heard of anyway to start the process moving forward, I am pretty sure it just happens. Every women is different in terms of how long.  

I wish you all the best Monica, and I hope you do still hang around here as you would be missed.  Take care, and please let us know how your doing.

Amanda
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377412_tn?1283813246
Im sorry for your loss.....my last MC was Jan 08 and I was pregnant in Feb 08 and Im 31 wks now.  You CAN do this!! Im happy to see your positive attitude.  I had a natural MC w/my first and I went back to "life" like you suggested.  Be prepared for the contractions and bleeding its not comfortable AT ALL. But when its done its done.....

And for the record you did lose a child....its a tough one to swollow.  I went thru the idea that I was some how LESS of a woman since I had  MC. And its simply NOT true.  Do allow yourself to grieve but dont go too hard on yourself.

I wish you much baby dust in the future....all the best.

Ericka
31 wks
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475404_tn?1286508624
I am so sorry for your loss. I was really rooting for you and wishing you well and I will still continue to do so!! I hope mother nature does her thing quickly for you so you can go on and do what ever you want too! You deserve it and take care..I am really sorry.
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211266_tn?1222288519
I am so sorry for what you are going through, but don't ever get discouraged.  I miscarried too in 1997 when I was 8 weeks pregnant.  I thought at the time it was not meant to be, two years ago I had another baby boy and I am 43 now.  So, just know that we are here for you.
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605648_tn?1249575027
THANK YOU LADIES!

Things seem to be progressing and though it's sad ... I look forward to a new chapter. I've taken God's blessings from this one and have learned more about myself than I thought I could in 7 weeks.

Love to all, Monica
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Avatar_m_tn
I found out at 10w 1 day that my baby had passed at 9w 4days..I had a second opinion to be sure and once the fact that there was no heart beat was confirmed I decided to have the miscarriage naturally (better for your body to do it naturally-Lord willing!). FROM ALL THE POSTS I READ IT SEEMED LIKE THE MISCARRIAGE HAPPENED FOR PEOPLE 3-4 WEEKS FROM THE DEATH OF THE BABY..SURE ENOUGH-I waited three and 1/2 weeks before I started seeing a sm streak of blood, practically nothing..that day I started taking BLUE COHOSH ( liquid form, comes in an eyedropper like bottle that I bought at Clarks Nutrition). Blue cohosh is a herb that helps naturally contract  your uterus( a friend/widwife recommended it). I took two dropper fulls every hr or two for about 4-6 hrs and three days latter I had the miscarriage. It was extremely painful! More painful than giving birth to my now 2yr old son. I had contractions from 11am till 7pm--Bt I passed the sac (was actually able to see the pinky size sweet baby body) and then continued to bleed for about 10 days after like a heavy period and the last five days I took methergine to make sure my uterus was cleaned out completely. I am so sorry for your loss! Remember that your child is in heaven with Jesus and one day if you confess Jesus as your Lord and savior you too will see your sweet angel!
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