I scared of natural birth

[shoka]

Hi my friends,

I have a very scary history about naturall birth , I really dosn't want to have natural and plus I 'm first time pregnant and I'll gonna be 39 years old.
what can I do how should I convinced my doctor ???
I really sacare ,I couldn't even think about that .what can I do.
I know natural birth has a lots of advatage but  I scare.

[shoka]

Thank you very much for all of your experience sharing.

[SuzM]

If we were all to tell you of our birthing experiences, they would all be different. Pookie and I prefer the completely natural experience if we can have it, others would prefer the epidural and some would rather have a C-section. Even though Pookie's and my choices were the same, I am quite sure it felt differently for each of us and we would describe it differently. It's an intensely personal thing. The bottom line too is that none of us are wrong. We did what we felt best for us and our babies or what we had to do, as I'm sure you will too. For me the best defence against fear is information and support. If you haven't taken any lamaze classes or anything like it, I strongly recommend it. They will teach you coping mechanisms you can use regardless of what type of birth you have and take some of the mystery out of the whole thing.
Just remember, we ladies have been doing this forever! If everyone else could, you can too!!!!!

[SoCalTricia]

All birth is scary...but for me it's not the birth itself, but all of the things that can go wrong. I think you have to remember that it's a completely natural process. Your body knows what to do. Women have been doing it for millions of years.

I don't agree with Yvette, though...I had completely natural vaginal birth with my first, and an epidural with my second. With my first I was young and strong and completely fearless because I had no idea what was going to happen to me. With my second, I was older and more experienced, and knew what I was in for - I was all about the drugs...lol. This time I wouldn't even CONSIDER giving birth without an epidural (unless, of course, there was some medical reason why I shouldn't). Both of my previous deliveries were relatively short, uneventful, and pretty easy. (6 hours with my first, 4 hours with my second.)

Just take a deep breath, relax...and let your body do what it needs to do. It will - have faith in it.

Tricia

[YvetteY]

Yeah..i don't really know what you are trying to say either.

Are you saying?  

You are afraid to have a vaginal birth without pain medication (epidural)?

or

Are you just afraid of a vaginal birth?


Either way ...it is an intimidating process. FOr you first birth, I wouldn't even consider trying to give birth without pain medication (epidural).   Maybe on your second birth you could try it without medication (this is called natural child birth).

Also...you dont' have to convince your doctor that you need medication.   He's not going to tell you can't have the pain medication or epidural.   It's your choice.

Now if you are just afraid of giving birth vaginally adn want a c-section...that won't happen unless it's medically necessary as far as I know....or unless you are super rich movies star then you might be able to have a c-section.  

Don't feel bad, child birth is a bit intimidating.  I have had a vaginal childbirth (of course with epidural) and a C-section.    I prefer the c-section.     The only con was not being able to hold the baby right away and recovery from c-section in general.  You have to take it easy for a couple of weeks.    

The vaginal birth wasn't too bad with the epidural, in fact epidural completely took away the pain.  I just iddn't like the pushing (pushed for about 22 minutes) , the episiotomy, and the hemorrhoid that i got (which by the way is still there after 19 years).    But I would never never never never have a vaginal birth without epidural.   As soon as those labor cramps start getting stronger they will stop you in your tracks!!!

[pookie1121]

I really dont get what you mean about you have a scary history of natural childbirth....but I wanted to share my story with you.... as I am not scared of natural childbirth.  I am scared of hospitals, intervention, c-sections, doctors, etc.

I am the type person who always takes allergy medicine with my allergies act up or Aleve when i have headache, etc.  My husband laughed when I told him I wanted to deliver in a birth house.  He said "you?  without medicine?" but my mother is a Doula and sent me a lot of books when I was pregnant with my DD and they all, of course, supported natural childbirth, the history of childbirth and how it has evolved from something natural to something very clinical and medicinish over the years and the reasons why.  It was very interesting reading.... and in the end I decided that yes, I am the type that turns to medicine when I am sick, but pregnancy isnt a sickness and I wanted to do it naturally.

Only totally risk free pregnancies can deliver in a birth house/center.  No multiples, diabetes, too early, too late, breech, etc can deliver there.  They totally err on the side of safety and go to the hospital at the sign that the birth isnt progressing or something might possibly go wrong.

I delivered in a great birth center in a very tranquil environment.  First laboring in the water for a few hours, then out of the water.  My midwife knew me from my visits to her during the pregnancy and of course we had developed a relationship.  She gave me homeopathic/herbal med to help with pain and acupuncture as well during the birth.  When my DD was crowning she put warm coffee compresses on me (caffeine helps the skin/tissue to stretch/elastic) and the result was a 5 hour labor/birth, which was the HARDEST thing I ever did in my life!!!!!, but wonderful and with no ripping or tearing or anything.  Afterwards, my baby and I just cuddled, then I showered, we all cuddled some more with daddy too, and about 4 hours after she was born, we went home to start our life as a family.  It was 2am and we just laid in bed for hours just looking at our little one.

My midwife came over the next two days to check on us and the pediatrician also made a house visit on day 2 to look at our DD as well.  It was wonderful.

I wanted to do everything the same this time again.....but now I have to go to a hospital because twins count as "high risk" and  I am scared of intervention.  I am a strong believer that once they start intervening and doing stuff or giving you stuff, the natural birth process is altered, hormones don't develop as normal and then they have to intervene again....  

Ultimately you have to do what is best for you and what you feel comfortable with.     Good luck!

[Juliaschill]

I have had a natural birth with my first Baby,then a c/s with my second, then a V-BAC with my 3rd, and the pain from the c/s was way harder to deal with and took alot longer to heal, I am now 20wks and am begging my dr to let me have another V-BAC with this one,  Trust nature to do what is right for you,It is all scarey but so worth it, good luck to  yo ad your little one!

[tbeards]

By natural are you meaning vaginal without meds or just vaginal? If it is the pain that scares you, I have three words: epidural, epidural, epidural ; )

[adgal]

The whole thing scares me...from conception to the idea of giving birth...but what a wonderful experience I believe it will be.  I think of it this way...women are not stupid (for the most part).  Look at these ladies with 2 or 3 (or more) children already...would they keep on doing it if it was that horrible?  And what an incredible outcome!!  Whenever I feel afraid, I just picture rocking a sweet little baby in my arms, and I immediately feel better.  That being said, talk to your Dr.  Be honest with him/her about your fears.  You will feel better I am sure.  Good luck.

[SuzM]

I gave birth to three sons naturally. I had no painkillers of any any kind and I'm not going to lie to you and say it wasn't tough at moments. But I will say this, I have absolutely no regrets. If I had to go back and do it all over again, I would do it exactly the same way. I could type for hours of the feelings of joy and accomplishment and euphoria I felt going through it too. I wouldn't give up one moment of it if I could. Not one moment.  We all have feelings of fear about the births of our children when we are pregnant, Shoka, whether we have c-sections scheduled or hope to deliver vaginally. We worry about our babies and our own bodies and if we are up to the challenge. Then when all is said and done, no matter what method of delivery it was, we have that beautiful child and it was worth it. Just look how many women have more than one child !  If childbirth was so terrible, nobody would ever have a second one :) It will be something you look back on with a tremendous sense of pride and achievement. I wish you all the very best.

[PamelaBee]

Hello, welcome to the forum.  Don't be scared. Try to think that millions upon millions of women have gone through childbirth, each one having their own personal experience. There are so many advance techniques and drugs that will be available to you, so try to relax and enjoy the most miraculous experience in the world!  I have to ask what alikat1205 diid, if this is your first pregnancy, how do you have a history of scary natural births?  Did you witness someone having a baby naturally that made you fearful?  Best of luck to you.  

[alikat1205]

how do you have a history of scary natural birth if you have never been pregnant?  i have had two c/s which were scary also.  sometimes it is scary no matter what.  you are already pregnant so try not to focus on that.  there are all kinds of great drugs available if you need them.  recovering from a surgery is much, much harder.  give yourself a chance.