I'm absolutely freaking out....

So Warren has gone to Regina for the weekend to check on our property there.  I dropped him at the airport, got home and when I wiped, there it was...the brown spotting!  Now I know full well it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I feel absolutely sick to my stomache right now.  To try to reassure myself I took my last FRER (I know, I know, I shouldn't) and the second line popped up right away and was super dark...it's at least as dark if not darker then the control line...significantly darker then monday's or wednesday's...  That has made me feel a bit better, but I am still in a panic.  I will have my blood tested monday, I am not waiting the extra day, I don't care what my Dr. wants.  But in the meantime, I have to get through the weekend without winding up in a hospital for the insane or something.  There was hardly anything at all, just a bit, like I sometimes get 2 days before AF, and it was brown, but why does this always have to happen to me. Thank God I have to work tomorrow or I know I would sit here and just worry.  I just don't know what to think.

[usuk]

I just sent you a message. I'm awake and on-line.

[hkenny]

Amanda I can completly understand why you are upset, I cant imagine after everything you have gone though. But try to stay POSITIVE and CALM. That is best for you and baby. easier said than done I know. I suggest a bath and a cup of tea tonight and maybe a comedy after?  this could be nothing as you know and more than likely it is, many many women have brown spotting or even blood as you know......so dont worry!!! please dont worry. there are hundreds of us on medhelp praying like crazy that little bean of yours sticks and I believe 110% in the power of prayer!!!

Stay calm Momma!! Love ya
H

[adgal]

Thanks guys.  I just went and reread all the stats (that I already knew) about light brown spotting.  20-30% of women will experience it in first trimester, and 80% of those go on to have healthy normal pregnancies.  I know that, but for me it still scares the you know what of me.  I feel physically ill right now.  I appreciate the prayers more then you can know.  Thanks again, love you both.

[ArmyPrincess819]

I just saw your mood. I don't want to give you false hope but with this pg I had bright red bleeding and clotting for 6 wks and I'm 31 wks pg now. I have bleeding with all my pgs. It could be anything. It could be left over from implantation or from bding or the placenta etc. Bleeding is a very common side affect in pg especially in the first trimester. I wish you the best. I hope the weekend goes by smoothly and you can just get in and have your blood drawn. Good thing you are staying busy. Best wishes to you! Keep me posted!

AP

[usuk]

sent you another message. i'll check in tomorrow am. i will trade in all my selfish prayers for you tonight. it worked two months ago for the only 3 women i know who are still prego. i prayed for them and not me. xoxo.

[adgal]

Actually Jenny, I remember that.  You completely thought you were miscarrying again.  And you know, that is the exact advice I would give someone else.  I just can't seem to shove these horrid negative thoughts out of my head.  God, what I would give for a glass of wine right now!!  Anyway, I hope it goes away and I can breathe again.  Renee, thank you for the prayers.  And you hang in there too, I know your having a rough time right now.

[Juliaschill]

I will also trade in all of my prayers tonight and pass them on to you!!, you hang in there and just let God do his work, hope you get some rest!!  hugs Julia

[adgal]

So far so good.  It happened twice yesterday, then no more.  And nothing this morning.  I hope that is the end of it.  I know it's really common, but it still sends me into a tizzy.  It's not a long weekend in Canada, we had it last weekend, so I am going for that HCG test monday...it's only 1 day earlier then OB said to, so shouldn't matter.  I am so glad I am working today so that I don't sit and obsess about it.  Thanks for all the notes and prayers.  XO

[kellym]

It happened to me too. It happens EVERY pregnancy for me. I called and she said "implantation bleeding" of course I said NO, it's too late for that. Everything worked out just fine but of course I was worried sick. Can't wait for Monday!

[LisaRG]

I was thinking that you are probably seeing some old blood sice you had such an early m/c last month and got pregnant so quickly. Your growing uterus and embryo probably just cleared out any old blood.
I really feel positive on this one, I know how you are feeling my friend, but I think your going the distance on this one.
I hear that a woman is very fertile after a m/c.  You just proved that one:).  

[rdh1981]

I spotted bright red at five weeks and eleven weeks and you well know that Mr. Cruz is doing great!!!!! When I had the spotting at five weeks the ER called it implantation bleeding.  So, that would be about right for you too at this time.  

I know it is hard not to freak out, because I freaked out both times myself. Just remember brown is OLD!!!!!!!  

I really hope you try and stay calm today!!!! I am sending you a big ole hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Relax Girly!

[oceanv]

Well, I did brown spotting (wiping) for three days and it turned out fine.   Actually it happened again after treadmill and was fine.

U didn't bd before warren left you did you? sometimes that can cause some spotting.

[tbeards]

Hi Amanda! Boy, it has been a long time since I have been on MH and I have missed sooo much! First of all, CONGRATS on the positive HCG! I had to go to the prior posts to get caught up and saw that your beta was 33. That is great! Only a day or two can make such a big difference and you are so right when you say they have to start somewhere! It doesn't just go from a 0 to a 33 or 60 or whatever number so at least you know that it has gone up since 0 : ) Like I mentioned in your thread during your last positive HCG, my beta was 60 with Brooke and that was 14 days post first day of fertilization or 9dp5dt. I think it may have actually been 15 days now that I think of it. At any rate, it was at least 14 days so just a couple of days earlier it would have been around 30! I have a wonderful feeling for you this time around!

As far as the brown spotting, I had spotting at 8 weeks and I totally freaked out. It was just like yours and went away after 24 hours but I thought I was totally going to m/c. My RE said it was just residual blood in the uterus from probably stretching due to the pregnancy. Brown is good. I know you know all of this and everyone's words can't take away your anxiety about this but it may at least give a moment of comfort. Sore bbs are an awesome sign too!!!!! I didn't even have sore bbs and I was on 1.5 ml of PIO and vivelle patches. I did have a lot of gas though, the burping kind, and it was so embarrassing. I also didn't get nausea until 6 weeks with both of my pregnancies (single and twins).

I am back to work now after my maternity leave : ( It would be nice to be in Canada for your awesome maternity benefits! I found out that while I was on leave that they put monitoring software on all computers at work so big brother is watching. Even though I work a ton of hours and had a great performance rating, I don't want to have even a blip on my record so needlesstosay, I am only getting out here now at nights or on the weekends LOL.

Take care of yourself and eat a big ice cream sundae to celebrate!!!

~Trudi

[SoCalTricia]

Just got on this morning and saw this post! And I know you already know all the stats and signs and blah blah blah. So I won't waste my time typing it! Also, I don't know if you remember this, but I had LOTS of brown discharge and spotting (and some pink spotting) all through the first trimester. So....deep breath. Go buy a great book and lose yourself this weekend. I can't wait to hear what your next numbers are...I just know they're gonna be great! I have a very good feeling about this one, Sweetie.

Tricia

[magnolia55]

Amanda, I had brown spotting at 5 weeks and red with my m/cs. I think brown is a good thing!

[magnolia55]

Sorry, I should clarify. Brown spotting at 5 weeks with my successful pregnancy!!!

[adgal]

I had tiny amounts again today...even less then yesterday, so that makes me happy.  No major cramping or anything, just what I would consider normal.  No, we didn't BD before he left.  Sadly, we are both to afraid to that right now...I know, it doesn't hurt anything, but still, Warren is as nervous as I am.  I think I need to focus really hard on staying calm.  I am trying not to be overly anxious, but if I continue to be so, I will seek help.  I am not even remotely ashamed to do that.  I will not let the fear take over my life. I still feel confident about this pregnancy.  I found an interesting article on line about how if you just keep getting pregnant you increase your odds of having a healthy pregnancy. It said your eggs have to be somewhat healthy to even conceive, so the theory is if you keep trying, you increase the odds of catching that good one.  Going to put my feet up tonight and watch a movie.  Warren is home tomorrow.  I will go for an HCG test on monday.  Thanks for all the support everyone, I am trying so hard not to be a "drama queen".  This has just been such a long road for us, and it's so hard not to allow the fear and negative thoughts to take over with every little thing that happens.  I cannot wait until that first ultrasound.  It's already booked...June 8th!!  Thanks again, your support is always so incredible!!  XOXO

[ArmyPrincess819]

I know it's hard but try to stay positive. Take things day by day and today your are pg and enjoy every minute of it! I wish you the best. I'm here if you need to talk!

AP

[prevatt77]

Amanda,

Girl I had severe bleeding 4 times in my first trimester, the last time I had clots the size of my palm, now you talk about freaking out.  WHen I went to L&D I was covered in blood and clots every where (sorry tmi) and they told me to get undressed and put the gown on, I looked at her and said, you got to be kidding me right?!?! I told her I wasn't doing nothing until I got a sonogram and seen that my little man was still okay and sure enough he was going crazy in there moving all around.  Try not to freak out.  What are your symptoms like now.  Call me if you want to talk, I'm home all tonight.

Love Ya - Stay calm
Debbie

[usuk]

glad to hear amanda. and yes someone needs to invent a safe, mom's to be only "chill pill" for all of us. it's only human to assume things will go wrong when those of us that had more than one MC get prego. next time i get a bfp, i'd like to be put in a mini-coma for the first 8 weeks. or maybe find a cheap hotel in disneyworld and live in a fantasy land (with a snow-white style nurse doing beta checks of corse) . LOL.

[BarbOver40]

Debbie,
With your bleeding, was it brown or red?  I just started bleeding this morning with cramps(6.6 weeks).  All the posts I am reading say, "brown is fine, red is bad".  Mine is bright red and it's more than spotting.  I'm trying not to freak out, but deep down, I am scared.  
I haven't been to the doctor yet, thinking she wouldn't see me until 8 weeks anyway.  If it continues, I will try to get in this week.

Thanks,
Barb

[prevatt77]

My bleeding was bright red, I bled 4 different times in the first trimester.  The first time wasn't so bad, the second & third time were a little worse and the 4th time it was really really bad, I literally though the clots were the placenta, I went to L&D the doctor was determined to find out where the bleeding was coming from, she was examinging me for over 20 minutes.  She finally figured out that I had 2 cervical polyps at the base of my cervix.  They put me in the next day for emergency surgery, did a spinal block to try and remove them, but they were too large to remove, so they took a clipping from the one to send away and then they just left them be and I didn't have anymore bleeding after that.

With mine though I didn't have any cramping and I felt Gavin moving very early in my pregnancy, so when I was bleeding I could still feeling him fluttering, so I really thought everything was okay and it was.