Possible misdiagnosed miscarriage - where do I go for second opinion?

[chills41]

Hello, I wondered if anyone here is going through the same thing as myself. Altogether I have 5 children and so far experienced three miscarriages. I had a son, now 19 and a daughter now aged 18 expecting her first baby 8 weeks before ours is due, with my first husband. I had my other daughter who is now 10 with a former partner and I now have two little boys aged 4 and 2 with my present husband.

My first miscarriage happened at 15 weeks in between having my daughters, which the doctor put down to chromosome abnormalities. I had a scan at 12 weeks and the doctor said I may miscarry and to come back in 2-3 weeks and when I did all he could see was obliterated pregnancy tissue so I had an EVAC to remove on November 5th 1993.

The second and third happened with my present husband in the last 18 months. In May last year I went for my 12 week scan to be told the pregnancy was ectopic but was in my uterus and I naturally miscarried a few days later on May 5th. Then in January this year I went for an early scan on the advice of my GP to be told there was nothing but an empty sac in my uterus, which a few days later I miscarried naturally on January 5th (ironically exactly 8 months after the last one).

After these happened we decided that if we did get pregnant again then ok brill, but if it didn’t happened then it wasn’t meant to be. The midwife said that after three recurring miscarriages they would start investigations but probably wouldn’t find anything. We weren’t that worried and at our age (41) it would be a blessing if it ever happened.

In July of this year I was amazed to read another positive pregnant result 2 days before my period was due! I was so amazed that I did two more tests, at 5 weeks pregnant and then again at 7 weeks and the day after went to the EPAU for an early scan which they carry out at 6 ½ weeks and then again at 9 weeks to ensure that everything is developing as it should be.

At the first scan (7 weeks) there was a midwife present with the sonographer. I was so nervous but when they told me they could see a baby with a heartbeat and showed me it on the screen I shed a tear of relief and was ecstatic. This one had made it! I was going to be a mummy again at last!

However, yesterday I went back to the EPAU for the follow up 9-week scan to date the baby and reassure me. Once again the clinic midwife was present with the sonographer. As my bladder wasn’t full enough, I had to have an internal scan and after about what seemed hours of probing and not being able to see what they could, they then apologised and said they couldn’t find the heartbeat.

Well I was beyond belief and after talking to the midwife decided that I wanted to be scanned again and see it for myself. I went through the worst 5 minutes of my life as she scanned (externally this time) and as she moved over the baby and in her words ‘through’ it she explained and showed me there was no heartbeat present. The midwife said that the baby measured 18 mm and looked about 8 ½ weeks and I was supposed to be 9 weeks (to which I asked what difference does a couple of days). I asked her for a picture and left in tears. After talking to the midwife again we decided to go home and think about what we were going to do and we could leave it no later than mid September to see what happens.

Part of me wanted it gone; my baby had died so why wait but after stumbling across your website, on looking for ideas what to call the baby, I was filled with what I can only explain as ‘hope’ which ironically we had at the same time decided that was what we wanted to call the baby. I had never heard of misdiagnosed miscarriage before but after reading the stories on here it has given me an understanding of what others have gone through and come out the other side with good news and I do hope this will be the outcome for us.

Sometimes I feel selfish, as I know that there are many out there with no children trying so hard to get pregnant and having one miscarriage after another. I don’t feel that I deserve to be investigated as to what is going wrong when I have 5 healthy children already. I keep telling myself I should be grateful for what I do have but all we want is another child to complete our new family having recently got married.

I have had no bleeding or cramps and the only pain I am in apart from emotional pain, is that the sonographer left me after the second time she scanned me. She put a lot more pressure on my abdomen than the first time she scanned me. In fact she had asked me several times during the internal one if she was pressing too hard. It was as though she thought it didn’t matter, as there was no heartbeat present so therefore there wasn’t any reason to be careful anymore. I have now got sore abs from where she was pushing.

We have been told we can come back and have another scan whenever we want before we make any decision but how long do we leave it to go back. The midwife says when we do go back we shouldn't expect there to be a heartbeat because there isn’t one now so there won’t be at a future scan but reading these stories how can she be so sure.

I'm just playing the waiting game at the moment but feel like I should get a second opinion but don't know how to go about it at all. Having never got this far and had this happen it's all new to me. All I can say is I saw a beautiful baby on that screen on Wednesday and for them to say there was no heartbeat when it was there before 2 weeks ago on a tiny bump at 7 weeks is a little hard to take.

Sorry for rambling but not sure at all what to do or how to go about anything. Both my daughter and step daughter are pregnant too and I can't even bring myself to look at them until I know in my own mind what is happening to our baby.

Please help… any advice anyone can give would be gratefully received!

Waiting, praying and desperately hoping
Chills

[kellym]

Your story is so sad. I'm sorry you are going through this. I would wait a few days and get  another scan. Yes, I would also get a vaginal. It's still early, you don't want to miss anything if they did. I don't want to give you false hope but one more scan would be reassuring.  Then you can decide how you would like to proceed.

[Heather5]

I agree with Kelly. Get another sonogram in a few days. I don't necessarily think you need to go anywhere else for a second opinion. Your next scan will pretty much give you a definite answer, no matter where you have it done. Whether they missed the heartbeat or not, you should still be able to see a difference in size on your next scan. If the size is the same or smaller, then unfortunately the embryo stopped developing. I've had that happen before and had to have a D&C. My pregnancy had stopped developing at about 8 weeks.  I also had a follow-up scan about a week later, just to make sure, but unfortunately, there was no growth and still no heartbeat.

I too am very sorry you have to go through all this, and I hope your next scan gives you some good news...but if not, please know that you're not alone. So many of us have experienced losses, and we're all here for you if you need to talk.

[adgal]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I too would (and have) requested another ultrasound to check for growth. With my first loss my OB wanted to do a D&C at 8 weeks....I insisted on waiting until 10 to make absolute sure.   It's important that whatever decision you make you feel at peace with it and you don't want to be left wondering. There is no hurry to do anything right away, unless it's etopic, which isn't the case here.  Hang in there, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[TreeFrog7]

Hi!

I too, feel for you as you go through all this uncertainty. None of it is silly at all - just natural feelings. Pregnancies and babies and families are important! Don't let anyone make you feel foolish that you want to double-check, or that you feel emotional.

Another thing I want to reassure you of is that it's not at all selfish to be concerned and want investigations even though you have 5 children. I myself am 44 and have no children, would love to have one, but I don't read your story and think "sheesh" at all! I'm sure none of us do. We're all in the same boat, and support each other. Each negative or positive test, each scan, each delivery means the same to all of us.

So, make sure to update us on how it goes and how you're feeling. We're all in your corner.  :)

[chills41]

thanks all for your kind words, support and advice.  It is so nice to know there are others out there who have or are going thru what I am.

I have read on the internet that an anterior placenta can sometimes block the baby's heartbeat but not sure at what stage this can happen or when it becomes apparent that there is one after all.  

I still have had no pain or bleeding and am convinced I'm not miscarrying as in my other miscarriages I bled a few days after the scan and lost the baby within a week.  But it's been 5 days now and nothing.

Have had to take my eldest daughter (Jess) to A&E tonight as she is 18 wks and started bleeding with pain earlier this evening.  Can't believe they kept us waiting in A&E for 2 1/2 hours before taking us up to the EPAU to wait for another 2 hours to assess her properly.  Luckily she has stopped bleeding and the pain stopped. They found her baby's heartbeat using a doppler and gave her an internal to see where she was bleeding from but have no idea.   The practitioner that examined my daughter said she couldn't understand why I've had no pain or bleeding.

I feel a bit like I'm being kept in the dark and left to get on with it to be honest and although I know it is a waiting game I'm left feeling completely helpless.

Don't know whether to go back this week or to leave it another week as nothing is happening.


love and (((hugs))) to you all out there and a very big thank you for caring xxx