Trying for two years, partner now 44

[wiltan1]

Hi all

My partner and i have been trying to conceive for two years now, im now 39 and she is now 44 (45 in 6 months)

During that time we have had one BFP (a year ago) which unfortunately was a chemical pregnancy.

In the last 6 months her cycles have gone from a rock steady 28-30 days to irregular, some are still 30 days, others are 40-45 days with no pinpointed ovulation. We do chart, but generally 'try' daily from day 11 of the cycle onwards untill we see ovulation confirmed.

Im just trying to find out what our chances are of natural conception at this stage?. Some sites say at 44+ the chance of natural conception is VERY low indeed? yet the net is full of success stories at 44, 45 and even older

Also, im still unsure about intercourse frequency.. one study claims the more the merrier (ie every day when possibly fertile is best, and 2 x a day is great) others say it takes a day or 2 to replenish sperm and advise every other day... does anyone have any up to date reliable information on this?

Sorry for so many questions, its just been a fustrating road, and i suppose we are both wondering if our hopes are somewhat false hopes.

Thanks

[vngirl2011]

I am 41 and my husband is 47.  I have two children from previous marriage.  With this new marriage, we decided to have children.  We have been TTC for 12 months and finally conceived end of June, unfortunately I had missed miscarriage at 8 weeks (fetus stopped growing at 6 week).  We were told to wait for 2 month before we can start TTC again.  The miscarriage happened on Aug 6, my period arrived Sept 3.  We did not have any protection this month, hopefully we will conceive again.  I take my temp every morning and have noticed my bbt have rise; which I believe I've ovulated around Sept 19 & 20.  Today is 9dpo for me.  My period has always been regular 31-33days.  My last failed pregnancy, progesterone level was 130 and Estradiol was 1416.  Just an hour ago. I fell asleep on my chair at work for 1/2 hour.  I feel very tired and sleepy today.  Hopefully this is a good sign.  Just hope for the best and expect for the worst!!

[adgal]

The others are correct.  As we move past 35 and into our 40's statistically it does become far more challenging.  We women are born with the same amount of eggs we will have for a lifetime, and as ovarian reserve decreases, and our eggs age, it becomes more difficult to both conceive and to carry.  However, stats are just stats, and it certainly does happen.  

Some of the things she can do would be to see an RE.  A few simple tests can determine what her ovarian reserve is like, and your specific chances as a couple.  From there, you can look at all the different options and see if there is any that suite the two of you.  

I also had a baby in my 40's, and many others here have as well.

Best of luck to you both.

[stacey10]

Oh and I used ovulation stcks as a guide as to when to have sex so we didnt waste the little swimmers :) so when it showed that I was about to ovulate we had sex that day then every second day after that for about a week, good luck":)

[stacey10]

I'm 44 and have got pregnant at 41 and have just had my baby in may so was pregnant at 43, so it does happen. I would suggest a trip to an acupucturist if you can afford this. I had two rounds with mine, he regulated my period/hormones, warmed my uterus and increased blood flow to the area and gave my overies a cranking. He also gave me herbs to take for a week  or so to enrichen the blood flow to the area. I also took pre-conception vitamins, royal jelly capsuals, stopped drinking alcohol and caffine and ate organic dairy and had herbal t's to replace the normal T's. I did have 2 miscarriages inbetween the two babys and it did take about 1 1/2 yrs to concieve but it is possible especally if you can get your partners periods back to being regular (acupucture)

[jjenkins112]

I agree with Clysta, fertility does decline after 35, but there are plenty of woman having babies in their 40s (my first is due 5 months after I turn the big 4-0, and my husband will be 46). If you and your partner haven't had full fertility work-ups with a specialist (e.g., reproductive endocronologist (RE)) yet, that would be step one. The testing is valuable in that it will help discover any underlying problems (if any); however, after 3 years of TTC #1 and 3 m/cs, I have learned that going straight into taking fertility drugs, IUI, IVF may not always be the best route (it wasn't for me, as all of it failed...my husband and I did not want to pursue IVF). I finally am pregnant after 7 months of TTC naturally + BBT charting, acupuncture, diet/exercise changes, yoga and vitamins and Chinese herbs (as prescribed by my acupunturist). My acupuncture doctor was able to regulate my cycles and help my body increase progesterone levels on its own and, as I said, I am now pregnant after all else failed. I am praying this one sticks, but the fact that I can still get pregnant without fertility drugs is fantastic. You and your partner of course must make your own decisions based on your on thoughts, ideals and specific situation, but I just wanted to share my experience with Eastern medicine should it be something you want to pursue. I would also highly recommend the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, which will help your partner know if/when she ovulates each month.

As far as how often to have sex, the only times I successfully became pregnant were when my husband and I had sex every other day. This time around we only had sex 3 times and BINGO! We're pregnant. :-) So, don't give up hope. It is a long and difficult road, I know that personally, but one day you will have your miracle baby. Good Luck and God Bless.

[Clysta]

Fertility DOES decline after 35, and in your 40's it can be much more difficult. That's not to say it doesn't happen though, because it does frequently. You stated though that her cycles are starting to become irregular. That's a really good indicator that she's heading toward menopause and is likely perimenopausal right now. This can take years before menopause actually hits, but it does make conception harder. Based on your ages, your best chances would be to speak to a fertility doctor. For now though, have sex every other day (as it is true that sperm need time to rebuild themselves. You usually want 36 hours between ejaculations) and keep having her chart her BBT.